Last weekend our church had a party. We ate together and then had a sort of talent show. It ended with a slide show of the year's events and people. I was struck by how much has happened here in one year. We have grown in size and in committment. We have reached out to those in our neighborhood, community, and farther. It was good to be reminded. Last week I spent a day at the ER with a friend. She is a widow and her young daughter had fainted. She didn't want to be alone. I am so glad I could be there with them. Once again I saw the blessing of God in community. The holiday season can be very tiresome and stressful. I try hard for it not to be, but it does get that way. I make a lot of our gifts and that takes effort. In order to get things done and still be available to my family, I will not be writing until after the holidays.

God came to my house on Tuesday evening. His name was Bobby. Our oil furnace wasn't working and, because of a recommendation from an energy conservationist, we started getting estimates on replacing the system. It would include new duct work, which might also include cutting through plaster ceilings, rewiring the house, changing the housing of the heating/cooling system, and who knows what else they would find. The estimates started at $4500 and went upward of $7000. I was weary, sick, frustrated, and depressed. We can't afford a big thing like that and it was looking like I would have to go back to teaching school. I don't want to do that. I love being with my children and caring for others' children as well. I like the freedom that it provides, and the ability to help people when others can't because of work schedules. Then Bobby came to our rescue. He was recommended by a friend as a very honest guy who can fix anything fixable. He came to give us an estimate, but was very reluctant to do that. He asked why did we think we needed a new one? I gave him the spiel about the energy conservationist and he told me that he could fix it. Bobby had the part in his truck and fixed it in about 10 minutes. The blessing of Bobby's ability to fix the furnace for $118 is not why I say God visited us, though that was surely a blessing from God. After Bobby finished the repair, he came inside and sat down at the kitchen table to visit. What repairman does that!? He began to question me about why we are here and why did I think God brought us here. He discussed our decision to homeschool and encouraged me in that effort. He reassured me that God is watching over us and that He is taking care of it all, if only I will trust Him. He talked of men serving and ministering in many ways other than preaching, and encouraged me that Matt's ministry might be organization or training leaders ( which is what he is best at without my saying a word about it). He encouraged me and renewed my faith. In a time when the world begins again to wonder at the liklihood of God coming in the form of a poor carpenter, it is nearly as remarkable that he also comes in the form of a southern-drawling, good-old-boy plumber. Thank you Bobby for listening to the Holy Spirit's voice. And thank you God for letting him share your message with me.

The chicks have hatched, all 8!!! They started Sunday evening and by this morning they were all out of their shells. Goldie is carefully watching them and I have to wear gloves to get in to them. It has turned colder here and they are staying snugly beneath her wings. It is amazing that she knows how to be a mother instinctively. I remember a friend telling me once about losing her child in a mall store. A man asked for a description of her so he could help look. My friend tore into him "like a mother tiger" telling him that she couldn't trust him to do that. She later felt a little badly about jumping to the conclusion that he might be an abductor or molester. I understand both of her reactions, that of a terrified mother and that of wanting to trust mankind. I also remember a conversation I had with another friend. She was holding my infant son while we watched the toddlers at the park. We were having a discussion on sin and she lifted my baby and said, "You know he is sinful." I thought I would pounce on her and tear her limb from limb! How could my baby be sinful?! That was the first time I felt the "mother tiger" within me. We were able to clear the air of our different opinions and beliefs, but I was never able to clear the air around my children. I am fiercely loyal to them. I see their faults and weaknesses. I reprimand and discipline. But no matter what, I am their Mother Tiger and I will defend them from dangers, real and imaginary.

I went to a workshop/conference last night at the university. It was about International Education and Globalization. I was especially interested in hearing from the Finnish delegation of students. The Fins have dominated the world lately in putting forth the best-educated people. I was surprised to hear that they only attend school 20 hours a week until they are 12 years old. Then it goes up to 25 hours for junior high and 30 hours for high school. One of the comments I hear a lot about homeschooling is that we don't put enough time into it- about 3 hours a day. The Fins said children there enjoy school because it is formatted for many types of learning, not just linear or linguistic. They have woodworking and needlework lessons, music and art times, as well as recess every hour. I wonder about the stress level of American students. They are in classes for many hours with little time to create or think abstractly. There is little time for play or freedom. Is it any wonder more and more children are suffering depression and stress-induced illnesses? Perhaps it would be good to look to the relaxed atmosphere of the Finnish schools. My own homeschooling experience is similar. My children have plenty of time to think and create. They have lessons that introduce many ways to enjoy life, not just linear and linguistic. And they have lots of free time to play whatever they want to play. Just in the last week, when lessons were over, they have built forts out of several kind of blocks, written books about magical creatures, taken adventures across North America dressed as Native Americans, drawn robots, read good books, listened to music and tried choreographing dances. About a month ago they had Economic Summits using a map and trying to decide which bases should be closed and who they should "take over" (Look out Canada!). That was a free time play of their own invention. They suffer few illnesses and are certainly not stressed. Yet, even with all of that free time they have learned more than those in the public system, or even a private school, will ever have the opportunity to learn. The workshop did for me something the directors probably never intended; it solidified my belief that my children are getting the best education I can give them and my desire to continue homeschooling was strengthened.

My last post was about motherhood and why people might want to be parents. This is about fatherhood and the example set by fathers. My boys want to be like their Daddy. They want to try preaching and leading church services. They want to dress like him. They even talk about going to college for 14 years like Dad. Heaven forbid! They adore their dad. My husband has a weight problem that results in a liver disorder, so he tries to watch his weight. One way that he does that is to order diet sodas when we are out at restaurants. The boys have noticed that and for a very long time have asked for diet as well. I wouldn't let them because I don't think the artificial sweeteners are good for them. This year I finally gave in and allowed them to order diet soda. I was surprised that after the first time they still wanted diet sodas. Ugh! After a while though, I noticed that when they ordered it, they sat up a little taller and had a proud look as they peeked over at Dad. It wasn't the soda they were wanting, but to be like their father. Last week, while ice skating, the younger one ordered a diet because he "needs to lose some weight". He is extremely skinny and wiry. I came home and told my husband what he had said. Without another word from me, my husband called the boy in the room and talked to him about why it is important for Dad to watch his weight, but not for the child. Health was the important factor, not weight loss. I was so proud to see the father not only set the example, but explain the example as well. They play ball with their dad, watch his movies, and his every move. Oh that every child could have an earthly father like my children's. Loving, involved, interested, proud of his children.

This year we hatched chicks in an incubator, partly as an experiment and partly as a way to get some chickens. It didn't go so well the first time and I think I baked the babies. So we bought 11 chicks at the local Tractor Supply. Then the extension agent called to say that we could try the incubator again if we wanted. This time we were more successful and had 5 chicks live. All 5 happened to be hens! Our hens started laying this summer and we have been enjoying fresh eggs for several months now. The boys' allowance money comes from the extra eggs that we sell. One of the hens that we incubated is now sitting on her own nest waiting for the day she will be a mother hen. Her name is Goldie and she started trying to nest several weeks ago, but I wouldn't let her. I couldn't believe that she wanted to already. She just wouldn't give up though. When I would take eggs from underneath her she would get so mad. She would ruffle her feathers and growl at me. Then after I had the eggs in a bucket, she would follow me clucking very loudly. I don't speak chicken, but I knew what she was saying. I finally gave in to her about a week and a half ago. I made a special nest for her in part of the rabbit hutch so the other hens wouldn't mix their eggs in with hers. Goldie stopped laying eggs that day and happily nests all day long. I let her out every day to stretch and move her bowels, but she always comes right back. She wants me to raise the lid and let her back in the hutch to tend to her business. Her strong desire to be a mother has made me reflect on motherhood. I did not have trouble getting pregnant, but I know many who have had. They go through all of the pain and misery of trying medical alternatives to become a parent. What is it that makes us want so badly to be a parent? For my part, I would have to say it was the love I share with my husband. I wanted to pass it along in some way. To find joy in another; to watch it grow and become someone. Could that be God's reason for creating us? To share his love, to pass it along, to take joy in us, to watch us grow and become someone? What a wonderful thought that God would want to be a "parent" so badly that He created me.

One day as I was taking my small charges back to their house, I took a different route. The 3 year old was worried. This was not the way to his house! I assured him it would go to his house, but he was still worried. So I asked if he knew where he lives. "Do you live in Greenville?" "I don't think so." "Can you tell me how to get to your house?" He sweetly and confidently answered, "Do you know where the airport is?" "Yes." "Well, it's FAR away from there." I had to laugh at his innocence. He directed me from what was important to him- the airport. Last night I got another dose of what my children's reality is. My 6 year old was explaining how he had designed and made a glider. As he was explaining a particular fold he said, "You use the finger that you pick your nose with." Then quickly added, "If you were to pick your nose." I guess I know what is important to him.

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in East Carolina. The sun was bright, the sky was clear, there was a light breeze. I hung sheets out to dry and last night in bed they smelled wonderful! I went ice skating yesterday with my children. Their 4-H club met for an afternoon of ice skating at the local rink. This is such a rich country! Where else is it possible for an average citizen to enjoy warm, balmy weather and ice skating in the same afternoon?

Yesterday after dinner I was getting my sons to help clean up. The older was washing dishes and the younger's job was to put the leftovers in a container. The 6 year-old was not quite getting all the food out of the serving dishes, but asked how he was doing. I said, "Pretty good, but you aren't getting all of the food out of the bowl." "Well, I nearly got it all." he replied. Now is when the Mother of All Knowledge and Wisdom stepped in to teach her young offspring a lesson in Life. "Yes, but 'nearly' isn't good enough. When you are sick do you want to get nearly better or all the way better?" "Nearly better." he wisely answered. "See," I continued, "nearly isn't good enough. You have to do things all the way." Then the Young one of All Knowledge and Wisdom responded, "Sometimes nearly is good enough. Do want to nearly get killed or get killed all the way?" I had to laugh at this very appropriate argument from the child who keeps guardian angels on over-time pay. The lesson can be taught another time.

I have been considering the impact of suffering on a person lately. This year we lost a couple young friends to cancer and it seemed so wrong in my human eyes. They were struck down in the prime of life with so much to finish. It couldn't have been time for them to go and WHY did they have to suffer so much to go. My grandmother passed away this year as well. She seemed to want to leave, but something wouldn't let her go. It was as if she had to suffer before she could go. We all hated it. I have been reading Philippians lately and was struck by the joy and encouragement that came from suffering. Philippians 1:29 says, "For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him but also to suffer for him." Can you believe that?! "Granted", as if suffering were a blessing. 2Timothy 3:12 says, "In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil men will go from bad to worse..." Makes you want to jump right into the godly life, huh? Yet, in Philippians Paul says the others were encouraged by his suffering and were made stronger because of it. I came across this prayer recently and have been contemplating it and praying it. Father we thank you for all those who bear suffering with courage and patience. We thank you for the way their lives enlighten and inspire our own. Give to them a sense of their high calling. May they find strength in knowing that they are sharing in the sufferings of their Master and following his perfect example. Be close to them and grant them your strength and your peace. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Anonymous

We had a Come-and-Go celebration yesterday evening to commemorate our first year in this new home. Our church family came as well as our realtor. She was impressed with the changes we have made so far and commented that she has driven by several times and thought how much happier the house is. She said, "This house just looks happy. There is a lot of love here now." I can't read house emotions, but I would like to think the house is happy. We homeschool and so the house is busy all day long; no daytime lull for this old house. We enjoy having friends visit often and even invite people to "drop by" whenever they are nearby. One of the best compliments I ever received was from a new friend in our last home. She came in, sat a bit, and said, "I like your house. It is very homey." I hope our house is a home to everyone who enters.

Today is one year in our new home. How we got here is a long story, but we know God intended for us to be here. We have made friends quickly, the church is so friendly and accomodating, the lifestyle is so slow and easy-going. We have a little land, a few animals, freedom to spread out and be. I absolutely love it here. Last night I took the kids Trick-or-Treating. The neighbor down the lane, a bachelor about 55 years old, was not expecting anyone. He said he had never had trick-or-treaters in all his years here. He came back out carrying a coffee can and said, "This isn't candy..." I thought oh, no, he isn't going to give them coffee beans?! He poured out a bunch of change into each boy's treat bucket and asked them to keep any screws or keys or things they might find and return them later! That's what I love about being here. Thank you God for placing us in such a wonderful place. May we bring glory and honor to your Name. Amen.

Yesterday my neighbors saw something that makes me very angry. It made them very angry as well. We live in a rural area; there is a fair amount of traffic, but not so much that you don't notice it. The neighbors were outside visiting when a dark van with tinted windows drove slowly by and turned into a private cotton field across the road. A middle-aged woman was driving and she quickly rolled down the window and attempted to throw a cat out the window. The cat jumped back in, but she was determined to dump that cat and threw it out the window. When she saw the neighbors had noticed, she got out of the van and tried to act innocent. One neighbor refused to talk to her and went inside his house. The other listened to her excuses disbelievingly. Doesn't that just burn your britches?! How can people be so cruel and irresponsible? What makes them think we want their cat- I have 2 that someone dumped out already! Man, if I had seen that I would given that lady a piece of my mind! You know what I was doing when the neighbors saw this disgraceful act? I was dumping my cat out our black van's window! I had loaded the garbage into the van to take to the dump- we don't have sanitation services here- and unknown to me the cat jumped into the van. As I was pulling out the drive, the cat made itself known. I decided rather than to go back I would just let Tiger ride along with me. He is a sweet, cuddly cat and the company would be pleasant. Evidently, Tiger doesn't like to ride in the car. He began racing madly around the van, jumping into the garbage and searching for a way out. I began to drive more slowly, thinking that if I went all the way to the dump, Tiger would jump out of the van never to be seen again. So I pulled into the cotton field behind our barn to let Tiger out. He was so unnerved by the experience he refused to go out the window and I had to take a couple tries at throwing him out. Instead of running through the field back to the barn, he ran across the road and through the neighbors side field. I could hear them yelling about the woman dumping a cat out and how awful she is. So I walked over to explain; the one neighbor refused to talk to me and went in his house. The other listened to my explanation and smiled knowingly and placatingly. I was distressed that they should think such a thing and went in search of my lost cat. Tiger came home this morning and I apologized to him for the misunderstanding. I will be more careful when taking the garbage out next time. But I will also be more careful before jumping to conclusions next time, as well. What we see is sometimes not what we are seeing.

I am unsure of the purpose of this blog site. About a month ago now, I felt compelled to begin writing a web page. Sometimes I get these impulses and then they disappear as quickly as they come. Sometimes the nagging just won't go away. At those times I try to follow through, thinking that it may be a higher calling than my own inner desires. The previous post was also on my mind at the same time. I know it didn't come across well, but it is Christ's humanness that intrigues me so much. To me, Jesus is Lord of Heaven and earth. He loves me as much as he did any of his disciples 2000 years ago. He cheers for me and he laughs at me. He gets frustrated with me, but he never gives up on me. And for my part, I do the best I can for him. So I see Christ in all I do and wonder how the human side of him would react to things. God in human form is a very big idea to wrap yourself around, but also extremely comforting. I suppose as time goes on, it will become clearer what I am to write about...how this is to play out. I think several issues will come up again and again just because of who I am. Parenting, educating, blessings, all come to mind quickly. Maybe my thought meanderings will help me discover why I felt the need for a web page and then I can move in that direction. Maybe nothing will come of it. Perhaps patience will come up a lot, too!

"Do this in remembrance of me." I have seen it engraved into altars all of my life. I have heard it read many Sundays of my life. I expect to hear it. I understand it. It is common; it is rote; it is habit. But what did Jesus's disciples think each time they remembered him? Did they remember the way he spoke their name or the way he looked at them? The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed. The time he blessed their child. His favorite practical joke. His quiet days when he was obviously somewhere far away. The love he had for others. The dog he fed along the way to Mary's house. The last days with him, quiet, sorrowful, tired. The resurrection time of surprise, joy, fear, terror, relief. Great all-encompassing love. What do I remember? The forgiveness before the sin? The undeserved sacrifice? A personal friendship. The gift of a family. The humor he uses to teach me. The seemingly insignificant events he shows me. The quiet times of reflection when he speaks to me. Surprise, joy, fear, terror, relief. Great all-encompassing love.