I have been very busy the last few days. I have tried to keep a sense of peace and slowness about me, to be present in the moment and not feel hurried. For the most part I was successful, but Saturday evening it came rushing in on me. I am still practicing "the quietness of mind". Last week I was finishing reading Hebrews and have been thinking about this ever since. Faith is a big thing. I wrote down several things that it entails or implies. Faith is displayed in creation and sacrifice. Faith pleases God. Faith makes you do crazy things. Faith looks forward and trusts even when it looks hopeless. Faith is other-worldly. Faith is a free choice. Faith rules out any contradictions and trusts God. Faith leads to worship. Faith conquers fear. Faith believes miracles. Faith perseveres. (Hebrews 11) Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the throne of the right hand of God. Hebrews 12:2 Jesus had the ultimate faith: He did something really crazy and other-worldly as his own free choice. He was looking forward, trusting God. Even when it was hopeless, he looked to God with trust and overcame fear. He believed there would be a miracle, persevered, and was received in worship. Oh, for a faith that will not shrink!

Being the mother of two boys, I was interested in the Newsweek article about the education system leaving behind boys. It is a hot topic for me. Yet what really is interesting is not the fact that boys are being neglected and so falling behind, but the fact that "experts" are just noticing and trying to decide what to do about it. I noticed quite a while back when my older son started Kindergarten. There is no room for play and talking. No room for moving and being young. No room for immaturity and slow growth patterns. Everyone must follow the same pattern, do the same things at the same time, and do it constantly. Books have been written for over 40 years about the physical differences of boys and girls. They are "hard wired" differently anyone can tell. Boys cannot function well in a female patterned classroom, and it isn't fair to ask them to. Boys may not read until they are in 3 grade. As an Education Major I remember that there was not to even be any testing done until then, because children were still learning so much and at such different rates. Now if you don't start reading in Kindergarten you may be held back. If you are not reading well in 1 grade then you will be in a reading lab or special ed program. How did that happen?! Being told from the start that you must behave differently and you must learn quickly, has told boys that they are not good enough. If you are told that long enough, either directly or subtly, you will believe it. Thank goodness the experts are starting to notice.

I have been experiencing God's faithfulness in so many ways lately. What a wonderful God I serve. He is faithful in all He does and says. There could be no better God. Last August several at our church started praying for 45 more children, aged pre-school to 6th grade, to join us by August 2007. We have a very small group of children to start with and they need encouragement by being with others. Almost every week some more children come. Though the "joining" part is still being worked out, there are still definite traces of God's work. We have also been praying for a little longer that we would be able to help those in our neighborhood who are searching for God. We want to reach out to those who are reaching out to God. In December we had a prayer walk and prayed for specific buildings and streets in our church building's neighborhood. Yesterday a young woman showed up. She had been walking past the church last week and felt drawn to it. Then when she came in yesterday morning she said chills went up her spine. One lady assured her that was because she is supposed to be here, an answer to prayer. She lives on one of those streets. A friend with ALS went to the doctor this past week. The disease is progressing so slowly and perhaps a cure is within sight. New drugs are being developed and she is trying one now. We continue to ask God for complete healing for her and all those who have this tortuous disease. Yesterday, I went to check the oil level in our tank. We heat the house with fuel oil. The level was at least as high as last time, if not higher. I haven't bought any oil in well over a month. I can only imagine that someone has paid for oil for us- though we have not seen any delivered- OR God has supplied the oil as He did for Hanakkuh. Either way it is a blessing and a miracle that we accept with all praise for the Father. Our God is an awesome God, He reigns in Heaven above, with wisdom, power and love. Our God is an awesome God!

I have been fighting a cold this week. I think I am starting to win. Winning isn't everything my boys say. They started playing league basketball this winter. It is a christian league and playing, learning, and attitude are the main focus. They are having a great time, but I think snack after the game is probably the highlight. They have only lost so far, and though I was told it doesn't feel good, they seem to be handling it ok. ----------------------------------------- I have been thinking about what practical ministry looks like. How do I, a homeschooling mother of young children, who also cares for 3 other younger children, find time to minister? I used to teach and speak at events at our last church. We had a family that lived behind us that required a lot of extra attention. I helped the college ministry at a homeless shelter at times. But here I have seemed to get stuck in getting everything done and teaching children. Besides, we don't live on a city block and it isn't as easy to see those in need of help. Then I started praying for quietness of mind and the ability to hear God. It has occured to me that the best way I can minister is to be listening to those around me. In doing so I have heard the loneliness of several people, the fear of others, and even the great joy of others. I ask God daily for the grace of silence and it is opening many doors that I didn't even notice were there. Just when I thought I couldn't squeeze another weekly event in my life, such as a formal ministry would require, I have discovered that by listening, ministry doesn't disrupt as much as I thought. I can take a lonely lady to the boys' ball games, I can play games with a friend and her children, I can make a call while I clean out the dishwasher. A few minutes of listening to a person can serve God in ways unknown. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." James 1:19

I have been laughing at our livestock lately. They are very confused. The chickens have started laying eggs in odd places, like the dog house. The goat has been following the dog around the yard. If the dog isn't around then the goat will eat the dog food. It seems the animals all want to be someone other than themselves. People envy sometimes gets to me too. __________________________________ I have been thanking God for a mild winter. The prayers of many have been heard by the Lord. The price of heating oil, natural gas, and electricity have made many people pile on the clothing and pray for mild weather. Though the Lord seems to have answered this prayer, I wonder what the next prayer will be. The farmers need cold weather to kill the pests so they can have good crops next year. Will our prayers to save money this winter only end in higher food costs this summer and fall? It is so easy to look at the immediate and ignore the long-term. It is hard to think about what is good for the environment and future generations when you are facing a high energy bill. Forgive us Lord for our short-sightedness. Please bless us with the desire and commitment to be far-sighted in our use of your earth.

So maybe you are wondering how I am doing in my unambitious life? I think it is going fairly well. I have been careful to spend the first half hour of my day in the Word and in prayer. (That is the first half hour after my shower, etc. I imagine God appreciates it.) I have tried for years to spend that time with God, but I am often interrupted. So I told my husband and he is trying to make sure I am not interrupted. I have found myself having the time to get things done. But more importantly I have found myself being less stressed about the slower times of the day- when the kids need to tell me something or just want to play a bit, or when a friend calls just to chat. Being present at all times. It is a challenge. I have been focusing on this prayer this week. Give unto us, O Lord, that quietness of mind in which we can hear you speaking to us, for your own name's sake. Lord, you have taught us in your word that there is a time to speak and a time to keep silence. As we thank you for the power of speech, we pray for the grace of silence. Make us as ready to listen as we are to talk, ready to listen to your voice in the quietness of our hearts and ready to listen to other people who need a sympathetic ear. Show us when to open our mouths and when to hold our peace, that we may glorify you in both speech and in silence. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. - Frank Colquhoun

Happy New Year!! I have made it back. The letters are written and mostly sent, the decorations are back in their boxes, and warm weather is all around. The holidays are over. We had a nice time visiting family and friends. We even left the children with their grandparents for about a week while my husband and I went to a retreat in Tennessee. At the retreat I was reminded of an intriguing Bible verse I read last year. "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life..." 1 Thes 4:11. I remember asking my husband if that would be ok. Could we live a quiet life and can that really be an ambition? It certainly seems to be unambitious in the American way of thinking. Would it be ok if we quietly live our lives here in Eastern Carolina, not making waves or crashing onto the scene somewhere? Can we retire here someday with nothing more to add to our resume than what is there already? Can that quiet life be achieved on the daily basis? We are not back a week yet, and already it is "Let me write that on my calendar. No, I am already booked." The kids have basketball, 4-H, and co-op classes. Mom has committee meetings. Dad has committments. The frantic pace grabs you almost unaware and you are running before you have your shoes tied. Now I know that the writer of Thessalonians wasn't talking about fame or busy schedules, but God did set a standard in declaring a Sabbath rest. So it is my goal this year to be quieter, to say less and listen more, to schedule less and relax more. I am making it my ambition to lead a quiet life.