My parents are here for a visit. They arrived yesterday evening with a truckful of furniture, fencing, and livestock. We now have another rabbit and 2 more goats. The kids are 2 and 3 months old and are doing fair. The older one is fine, but the younger is not wanting to eat. #5 says she is sad and I think he is right. The rabbit has been put to work and I imagine we will have 2 litters of rabbits in about a month. Now hubby has to build another rabbit hutch. He loves me so much!

Yesterday I put the two boys to work "spring cleaning" the livingroom, which meant they had to vacuum the furniture and wash the baseboards. It was completed in a very short amount of time so I went in to check their work. There was still quite a bit of dust on the baseboards and so I showed again how to wash them properly. Then I looked under the cushions of the couch. "#2 come here please," I summoned. "There is still dirt here that needs vacuumed." And with a very straight face and honest voice he answered, "That was already there." Well what did he think I was asking him to do? I guess he thought I wanted him to vacuum the dirt that isn't yet there! ____________ Last week #1 asked to get a newspaper so he could look in the help wanted section for a job. I told him they don't have jobs for 9 year olds. He wanted to know why not and I tried to explain the reasoning behind child labor laws. He replied,"But what about my rights to get a job!?" I just hope he feels that way when he is 16.

I'm reading A Testament of Devotion by Thomas Kelly now. I have only been at it a couple of days, but here are some bits that have inspired me. "...In this humanistic age we suppose man is the initiator and God is the responder. But the Living Christ within us is the initiator and we are the responders. God, the Lover, the Accuser, the Revealer of Light and Darkness presses within us. "Behold I stand at the door and knock." And all our apparent initiative is already a response, a testimonial to His secret presence and working within us." In speaking of keeping God always present in our hearts and minds...."But the hunger of the committed one is for unbroken communion and adoration, and we may be sure He longs for us to find it and supplements our weakness. For our quest is of His initiation, and is carried forward in His tender power and completed by His grace. The first signs of simultaneity are given when at the moment of recovery from a period of forgetting there is a certain sense that we have not completely forgotten Him. It is as though we are only coming back into a state of vividness which had endured in dim and tenuous form throughout. What takes place now is not reinstatement of a broken prayer but return to liveliness of that which had endured, but mildly. ...Again, it is like waking from sleep yet knowing, not by inference but by immediate awareness, that we have lived even while we were asleep. For sole preoccupation with the world is sleep, but immersion in Him is life." "Such men (ones who keep God always present) are not found merely among the canonized Saints of the Church. They are the John Woolmans of today. They are house wives and hand workers, plumbers and teachers, learned and unlettered, black and white, poor and perchance even rich. They exist, and happy is the church that contains them. They may not be known widely, nor serve on boards of trustees, nor preach in pulpits. Where pride in one's learning is found, there they are not. For they do not confuse aquaintance with theology and church history with commitment and the life lived in the secret sanctuary. Cleaving simply through forms and externals, they dwell in immediacy with Him who is the abiding Light behind all changing forms, really nullifying much of the external trappings of religion. They have found the secret of the Nazarene, and, not content to assent to it intellectually, they have committed themselves to it in action, and walk in newness of life in the vast fellowship of unceasing prayer."

It was a restful weekend. I was feeling a bit anemic this weekend and was forced to rest. I tried to work in-between fits of fatigue, but I can't say that I accomplished much. Mostly I just lay in a dark room and either slept or stared into the darkness. Last night I was mopping the floor at 10:00 pm so that it would look like I had done something. Then, this morning, as I had my devotional time, I noticed that I was able to focus much more than I had been able to the last couple of weeks. I guess I needed that restful time deep inside of me. _________ #1 and #2 go to Goat Camp this week. Sounds interesting, huh? They go every afternoon for a week and learn how to care for a goat and how to show a goat. Their own goats should arrive within the next 2 weeks. Millie is mine I guess and so I suppose will be the babies, although I promised one to the owner of Millie's affections, Clyde.

Finished another book, The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. I think I would have liked to know Brother Lawrence to see if he really was as humble and holy as he was portrayed. He seemed to be especially interested in suffering and asked God to make him suffer. I disagree with his premise that it is God who makes us suffer and that he does it for our own good. I think we suffer because of poor choices and an imperfect world. For instance, my boys both wish they hadn't gone to the beach last weekend because now they are suffering with cracked, itchy, peeling skin and the cream burns. Actually, if they (and I) had made a better decision to put shirts on them, then they would be happy about having gone to the beach and would likely not be suffering. I don't think God is making them suffer so that they can become closer to Him. _________ Two evenings ago at dinner #2 looked out the dining room window and asked what's that? Then he got up to walk over and look out. I thought he was looking out at the construction that is going on over on the other side of the corn field. NO! He was looking at a snake that had crawled up the wall and was looking in at us! That was met by pleas to keep it as a pet. The pleas were met with a very definite, "Never in my life or yours!"

I made packets of workbook pages for each boy to work on through the summer. So far it isn't going too well. My thought was to keep their brains working a bit so we don't have to make up too much when we start up again in the fall. I have seemed too busy to keep up with it though, and to tell the truth, I am not sure they need it. They both ask often to go to the library and they pick out good books. Right now #2 is reading about the ancient Egyptians, pyramids, and how to make Egyptian beer. He plans to make some for a 4-H meeting and let the others try it. Then there is the book of poetry he has been working through...Edgar Allen Poe's classics. He also decided he wants to have a lemonade stand, so he has made a few preparations for that. That idea lead #1 to think he wants to sell cookies to raise money for 4-H, so yesterday he made them and cleaned up the kitchen mostly by himself. They both helped with dinner. And of course there are the trips, camps, museums, park days... I guess I am an "unschooler" at heart. #2 is writing a newspaper too. He is the astrologist and has been coming up with ideas for our horoscopes. #2 wanted to be a journalist as well so he is a "girlologist". He is studying how weird girls are. I have been told, however, that moms aren't girls and girls are only weird until they are about 20, sometimes 18. We'll see how long that thought survives!

Well, #1 made it out of the house yesterday. He went to Nature Day Camp through the 4-H and had a great time. 3 others from our club were also there so he perked up pretty fast. Tomorrow is camp for #2. It involves a few crafts so #1 said no way, not even to be with friends. #1 told me he likes that he is getting better. "I like experiencing God's miracles." he said. He also told me that first night he felt God blowing on his back for a little while. I had been in my room praying that God would place his hands on #1's back. Thank you God. ______________ I have had 3 visits with friends in a week and then last night I got to visit with another friend at church. It is good to be surrounded by friends. I could have spent that time working and catching up, but friends are definitely much more a priority. There are many days I couldn't get through if it weren't for friendship. ______________ Finished reading a good book this week, My Folks Don't Want Me To Talk About Slavery. It is a collection of interviews in 1937 with former slaves from NC. A few patterns emerged that I noticed. Slaves east of Wake County seemed to be treated more humanely. During 1937 the Great Depression was going on and several of them said it was better during slavery- that so much reminded me of Hebrews and Egypt. I also noticed how little thought was put into helping the slaves after the war. Today a lot of thought was put into the aftermath of Germany and Iraq...the slaves were left with nothing to do and nowhere to go. One said it was a two headed snake that pointed north and south. No matter which way they went, they got bitten.

We used to live in Abilene, Texas, which is considered the beginning of West Texas. I remember one summer people complaining about the humidity. It was something like 12% with temperatures around 105 degrees. Certainly that is hot, but if they could feel this they wouldn't complain. It is 82 degrees now, but 94% humidity. You can see the moisture in the air. That is HOT worth complaining about! It is still only 78 degrees inside, but I think the air conditioning will be put on this afternoon. ____________________ My dermatology appointment went well yesterday. I do not have cancer and what I have does not normally lead to cancer. A definite relief after losing 2 friends to cancer last year. The doctor was nice and spent time with me chit-chatting. He asked what I do and I said I am a stay-at-home mom. It took him several times to figure out what I was saying, but then he asked, "Oh, do you homeschool?" I asked, "Why? Do I look like it?" I thought maybe I had a deranged look about me. I knew it wasn't the uniform because I didn't have on my blue denim jumper and matching children tagging along behind. (Not that I have a jumper...) Anyway, I thought about my answer later that evening and thought of all of the other jobs that might have thrown him off. I am a photographer, cook, baker, housekeeper, children's minister, gardener, lawn care worker, day care provider, nurse, guidance counselor, tour guide, activities director, drill sergeant, teacher, accountant, secretary, phone operator, and so much more. I think the ones that would have thrown him off the most though are rabbit rancher, chicken farmer, and goatherd. Maybe I'll try that next time.

#1 has decided to stay home again today instead of going to fishing day camp. He is still covered with a couple blisters, but he is drastically improved. I gave him an oatmeal bath last night and it realy seemed to soothe the skin. We tried to pop a blister and it was one of the worse things I have had to do as a mother. He was so afraid and his Dad had to hold him down. He screamed and begged us not to do it. Oh I could have cried. As soon as it was over though he said, "Well that didn't hurt at all." We'll see if he wants to go to camp tomorrow. Oddly enough I have a dermatological appointment today. Perhaps I should take #1 with me. _______ An update on the animals. Goldie is sitting on eggs again. She has been setting for a long time but not on any eggs. I tried to move her to the goat pen where she raised them last time, but she just got mad and broke all of the eggs. I put her in a rabbit hutch next and she seems to have settled there. They should hatch around July 18th. Millie is fairly definitely pregnant. She appears to be getting a little milk sack. I have been trying to get her used to be touched so we can milk her. She will let me touch the under side of her stomach now, but no luck with the udder. Maybe she is a modest girl. We are planning to got o the stock sale tomorrow and see what it is like to sell rabbits and chickens. We thought the boys could start doing that and make a little money. That would also eliminate some of the butchering that #1 especially doesn't like. But right now there is a rooster that is about to get his crowing head chopped off!

It's official, I am a bad mother. We went to the beach on Saturday with a group from church. I was very responsible and slathered everyone with sunscreen. My husband is very sensitive to the sun so I know to keep my eye on him. However, I was not as careful in my watch over #1 and he is burned very, very badly. He had a great time playing in the ocean and someone loaned him a boogie board, so we didn't see much of him for the whole day. About 3 or so I put a shirt on him, but it was too little too late. We stayed home yesterday and let him just lie around. Last night he was in tears because he couldn't lie down. It was the most pathetic thing to hear, "Mommy, do you think I can sleep with you...or am I too big?" No matter how old or big he gets, he will never be too big when he is hurting. He is still my baby. _______ I know why seeing how close you can get to a car is called "playing chicken". I always thought it was because you tried to see who would be the most scared and therefore be the "chicken". After mowing the grass yesterday and nearly running over the stupid things time and time again, I know that it is because chickens are stupid enough to let you do that. So playing chicken doesn't have anything to do with being the most scared but with being the stupidest.

Talked to the grandmother the other night and she retold this: While they were watching the kids at the pool one day #1 played with several other children. He had a good time diving after money that another boy's father was throwing in to them. There was also a girl playing with them at times. When it was time to go, #1 got out and dried off. Then the girl came running up to him and asked something. #1 replied, "No, I'm leaving now." #2 asked #1, "What's her name?" "I don't know." "Do you like her?" #2 continued. "You've been reading too much Calvin and Hobbes!" #1 responded. And there is a comic of Hobbes pestering Calvin about a girl. _____________________ I opened up more windows last night and put in the screens. I still have to take out storm windows and put in screens- hopefully that will change soon. Anyway, it is nice and cool in here and there is a nice breeze coming in the front room here while I type. People built houses so much better years ago than they do now. This one is placed so the sun stays out of the kitchen and the front porch shades a lot of the front of the house. The plaster and brick keep it cool so much longer than other materials would. We haven't used the ac yet, in NC! Perhaps a lot of the energy crisis could be helped if houses were built like they used to be!

I got busy in the garden yesterday and didn't make it to my journaling. It can get pretty muggy here in the afternoons and I needed to get the pumpkins pruned back; that meant wearing long sleeves and pants. I planted several pumpkin plants this year from last year's seed. I didn't expect it to go well since they didn't do well last year and the seed had been on the barn floor the rest of the year. To my pleasure and shock, they have done really well. The watermelon as well, so we should have some good eating this year. Sunday evening I took the boys to Sunday in the Park. It is a program the city sponsors in June and July. Different genre bands come to the town commons and play for an hour. People come sit on blankets or lawn chairs and eat and listen. The children all run around and play in the land bowl in front of the amphitheater. It is very Norman Rockwellian. I was surprised to find out last year that the evenings are cool here in June and July and it is a pleasant time. Having just come from Texas I was not expecting it to be enjoyable. The bad part about the weather here is the Hurricane Season. We have been blessed not to have bad times since we have been here, but it does rain a lot. The land is low and doesn't drain well, so we have wet yards. Makes it hard to dry the laundry too. I guess I'll be using the dryer today.

My sons are back! They have been missed by parents and friends alike. We got them in VA on Friday and stayed there for a conference, so that they didn't get home until Saturday evening. Each appears to have grown 2 inches, but I still put them on my lap. They seemed very glad to get home, to see their animals, play with their toys, be in their own space. They had a great time, but now it is Boot Camp- time to get back to normal and not be spoiled by grandparents. #1 told me last night that he knew their diet would have to change now that they are home. Today is a 4H meeting to learn about Washington, D.C. I don't know how much they are looking forward to learning but they are definitely looking forward to seeing their friends. The grandparents tried to do some educational things with them in WV- BUT FUN THINGS- and the response was always, "We're on vacation! We don't have to learn anything!" Boy are they in for a shock.

Dear God, I have a wonderful life. You have blessed me beyond belief. I thank you for the physical blessings of my home, land, vehicles, vacations, food, garden, clothing, job. I thank you for the social blessings of family and friends. I thank you for the spiritual blessings of church, scripture, prayer. I thank you for the blessings of freedom, to worship and live as I please. I thank you for answered prayers and for prayers that you answered by not giving me what I asked for but what I needed. There have been times Lord when I have not had such an easy life. I know that I grew during those times. My relationship with you became closer and tighter because the situation was beyond me. My marriage became stronger because we depended on you. Our children learned you are in control of all things, because we had no control. Those difficult times made me grow and become a better person. I have to admit, Lord, that this time of blessing is to me a reward. I feel like I deserve it for having stuck with you through so much. I know that I don't deserve anything you give me, that I am NOT holy as you are holy. Heaven is not reward enough for me in my life of the here and now. I will gladly follow wherever you ask or lead, but inwardly I want an earthly reward for doing so. I am selfish and conceited. Please accept my apology and forgive me. I love you and gladly serve you.

There is nothing new under the sun; so says Ecclesiastes. Yesterday my husband and I were able to get away for a few hours. We went to the town of Bath, NC. It is the oldest town, est. 1705. They have tried hard to make it a tourist attraction, putting up historical markers of things that might have been, but really it is just a quaint old town. Then we went to Washington and walked along the boardwalk through the wetlands. We had a nice dinner and came on home to finish up work and projects. Today I was reading James and noticed again in chapter 3 the discussion of taming animals, even sea creatures. I guess they had a SeaWorld even in ancient times. Then I read some more of Brother Lawrence, from the 1600s. He dealt with physical ailments and sins, just like I do. He went about his daily work, trying to discover God in all he did. 2,000 years ago, 400 years ago, 300 years ago, today...we are all still doing the same things. Work, family, suffering, sins, enjoying friends and family, taming the world and all that is in it, trying to find God...nothing is new under the sun.

Checking in a bit late today. I had the joy of a morning with no time demands and stayed in bed longer than usual. It was good to sleep until I wanted to get up. I enjoyed this tidbit this morning in my Brother Lawrence readings..."In God we will see more clearly what we lack than we could in ourselves by all our introspection. In reality, introspection is but the remnant of unexpelled self-love, which, under the guise of zeal for our own perfection, keeps our eyes down on self instead of up to God." As I read that, I thought how many people would be out of work in America if we just had that vision. No more Dr. Phil for sure. Then as I turned on the computer to write, MSN had a blurb about the fascination with self-help. I didn't read it, but I don't think this quote will have made it in there.

I finished reading Eat This Book by Eugene Peterson yesterday. I did enjoy reading it and learned some good things, but I took so long to read it that I can't truly remember many details. Being on the road so much lately has taken me out of my habits- prayer and reading when I first wake. Today I started reading Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. The part I read today looks like it will be an easy read (comprehension) so I may remember it better. Also my traveling days are done for a while. I go to get the boys Friday and return Saturday; so maybe then my traveling days will be done! My husband and I are going to a homeschool conference in Richmond that weekend and the grandparents are bringing the boys to us there. I am happy that hubby is interested in going to the conference. He has taken a more proactive role in schooling this past year. This coming school year he is planning to teach Greek to #1. #1 turns 10 this year so there will be several new things for him to encounter. We try to make stages in life for the boys to have something to look forward to as they grow. When they are 10 they are allowed to watch PG movies. They have seen some PG, but we always check it out first and then watch it with them. Which means they have to wait until we have the time to watch it. When they are 10 they can watch PG after we check it out, but we don't have to be present. Other 10 year old rewards and responsibilities are: no bed time, sit where you want in church, attend things with Dad like mens' retreats, but also a lot more work and the school work gets more demanding. Of course all of those things depend on how he reacts to them. If he can't handle the rewards they will be taken away- we are expecting to have issues with the bed time thing, he is such a night owl.

I have changed the time on my settings. I was being thought of more highly than one ought. I am not normally up in the middle of the night writing. I know you are all disappointed, but I do actually sleep. I hope I did it right.

Matt had a good lesson on favoritism today. I know this isn't where he was going, but it came into my head and I have thought it before several times. I have been praying for more children at our church, but what if that isn't what God is intending for our congregation? We don't get to choose who is in the church- God does, thus the lesson- but what if our church is to be one of poor people, people who haven't had a past with God, older people, unstable people, DIFFERENT people. How will that shape the way our congregation interacts with those inside and outside our group? How will that affect the way we are treated within our traditional background? How will that???? I can see so many positive ways that our world can be affected if God blesses our congregation in that way. It certainly is the way God displayed his wishes through Jesus. But it could be really uncomfortable. It could be really transforming. It could be really dangerous. It could be really fabulous. It could be really discouraging. It could be really awesome. It could really be only God.

I think my babies are starting to get homesick. I am starting to get phone calls "just to check in". Yesterday, the 7 year old had to call and tell me about his "plans". He had Pap write down a list for him of all of the things he needs for his plans. Included on the list were stink bombs, cigar lighter, and screwdriver, among other things. Then when we go to DC this fall with 4H, he and several other boys are going to crawl through the vents and let off stink bombs in the girls' rooms. Completely boy! Today we had a yard sale to raise money for the DC trip. The rain came down and the floods came up, but the sale did fine. We certainly would have done better with some sunshine, but we did well considering. Of course there is the new way to have a yard sale- on-line - so we may still make some more money. I am not sure how much we made and how much we actually sold to ourselves, but it was fun. I was very pleased with the way the kids tried to help, walked customers to their cars with umbrellas, helped with the bake sale...They are great kids.

I was washing eggs again today. I have 16 hens that lay and so I spend a lot of time washing eggs- they don't come out clean like at the store. Last week as I was washing I had this thought. The chickens I have lay eggs of many colors and shades. They have bumps and deposits, and are often odd shaped. Some eggs are really large and others are small. They are not at all like store eggs- all the same size, shape, and color without any blemishes. But inside- Boy what a difference! My eggs have brilliantly colored yolks. They taste stronger and have a meatier texture to them. They taste great and fill you up. They do have some blemishes inside, but it goes unnoticed because of the flavor. Store eggs on the inside look bland and taste the same. I saw some devilled store eggs a couple weeks ago and I was surprised by their palor. It takes more store eggs to fill me up than it does farm eggs. As I thought about this, I also thought about Hollywood. It seems the people there all look the same- size, shape, and color without any blemishes. And it also seems that when you crack those people open you often find their insides to be bland and tasteless, without much substance. The people I know, on the other hand, are many shapes, sizes and shades. They are full of life inside and out. When you crack them open personality and intrigue spill out, as well as some dark spots. But their taste is so much better for it. I guess I like my friends to be "organic free range friends" instead of factory processed.