Most of you know I hang laundry on the line to dry. There are several main reasons that I do this: 1. To use less electricity, thus helping the environment. 2. I love the smell of the fresh laundry when I bring it in. 3. It saves money. 4. It gives me a chance during the day to be outside. I often look around at how the landscape is changing. There is a barn in the field next to us that is hidden by trees and at this time of year it reminds me of home. The leaves change colors and with the sun shining through them it looks so much like Nestor's back home. Then there are the goats and chickens to watch, and Kelly and Leo give me some entertainment as well. About a week ago I was hanging laundry and looked up to see a bald eagle about 20 feet above me! There were 4 of them flying around the water tower. They came back several times over the next few days. It was really great. So I guess I would add #5. Enjoying the wildlife. However, as I was ironing shirts today and stuck my hand up the sleeve of hubby's shirt, I no longer enjoyed the wildlife. There was a bee in the sleeve from hanging on the line yesterday. It got my pinkie finger and really hurt. That doesn't happen when you use the dryer! ------------- I have been trying to think of ways we can save gasoline and tried an experiment yesterday. I wrote down all of the places I needed to go, and since it was a day that included picking up or dropping off children 3 times in one afternoon, I tried to accomplish all of my errands in one afternoon. I thought that way I wouldn't have to go out the next day except the one time to pick up children. So much for that experiment! Hubby had to have his car inspected so it was run to the shop this morning to leave the car and then run back this afternoon to pick it up, plus picking up children. I did try. Perhaps the carbon police will let me slide this once.

Cassie, Neener neener neener! I have begun the Christmas calendar. Just had to throw that in there. I have a tradition of making a calendar for our parents every Christmas. I think this is the 9th year I will do it. I make a scrapbook page for each week of the year. It is fun to look through and see what we did that year and how much the kids have changed. It is also sad to look back and see this is the year that Grandma was gone for the whole year. Anyway, I spent way too much at WalGreens this morning getting pictures printed. I really get frustrated with the digital camera. I know it saves in film, and it's great to have the pictures stored on the computer, BUT it seems I don't ever print them until Christmas and then WHAM! ------------------- So how do you talk to an unbeliever about prayer? Mostly, people think of prayer as asking God for something--health, safety, a home, children. Certainly to speak to an unbeliever the discussion would start there. You aren't going to start by talking about "listening" to God or they may call the "Looney Wagon." But how do you come to terms with the family that prays for a child and never receives one, while others never ask and all they do is multiply like rabbits? Or when one family loses a mother to cancer and another is miraculously healed? I don't have a good answer, but I am leaning toward a parental answer. My children ask me for things that sometimes I grant. I may allow them to do something or I may buy something for them just because I am in a good mood and want to see them happy. But there are sometimes that I say no. Often they understand the reason I give for the negative response, but sometimes it is just a simple, "I am your mother and you will just have to trust that I know best." That answer from God is hardest because I don't actually hear Him say, "I am your Father and you will just have to trust that I know best." He doesn't often give me reasons for negative answers, but if I wait long enough I usually figure the reasons out. I guess the greatest part about praying to my Father is that He doesn't get tired of my constant questioning and begging. If the boys were to pester me so much I know I would huff and puff and blow them down. Thank God that He is a better parent than I. Now that is a good prayer!

We took the family on an outing yesterday. We have been wanting to go to Ocracoke for quite a while and everyone's schedule finally allowed it. We drove to a ferry and rode 2.5 hours to the island. It was a very windy day and the ferry was really rocking. We ate a snack, played yahtzee, looked around, had lunch, and watched dolphins off the ship. Finally we arrived and took off to see the island. I really think we would have enjoyed it more without the biting wind in our faces, but it was still a lot of fun. We found shells, a bat, the skeleton of a stingray, and several shells of horseshoe crabs. There is a British cemetary that has 4 sailors bodies. They were patrolling off the Outer Banks during WW2 when a German U-boat torpedoed them. It was amazing to read how often that happened. I hadn't heard about that before. We also took a different ferry over to Hatteras Island. We were looking at lighthouses for hubby to photograph. He got the one on Ocracoke, the Hatteras lighthouse, and then also the Bodie lighthouse at night. I hope those come out- the full moon was behind it- neat. We ended by eating at Big Al's in Manteo and the boys picked a song on the Jukebox. -------- Today we headed over to a stock auction to see how birds are selling. The prices were about the same I get here at the house, plus you have to pay the barn. So I think the best way for me to sell ducks will just be to put a sign in the yard. If worse comes to worse, I could try to sell them there in a large group. I will go back a few more times to see if maybe today was a bad day. I was also looking for a Nubian goat to buy for milk, but they didn't have any. There is a guy staying with us for a few weeks, though, and his wife's grandfather raises Nubians a couple of hours from here. So maybe I will find one that way. I bought milk at the store today and nearly fell over when I saw the price. I have been getting milk from a farmer but I have to drive so far for it that I didn't this time. I have decided the price is right, even with the drive, since I can't drink store milk without getting sick.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. We live not too far from the original site of Thanksgiving, and we hope to visit it within the next year. The thought of being so close has made me think about what the original must have been like, and just what exactly I am thankful for. I am thankful that I do not have to cook for that many people. I am thankful for what I am cooking that I have an electric stove, indoor heat, a grocery store, good pots, pans, and bakeware. I am thankful that I have indoor plumbing and do not have to travel to get my water. I am thankful that my family is all alive and healthy, and that with a quick push of some buttons I can talk to all of the family that is still far away. I am thankful that should someone become sick, they will likely recover, that we do not fear for our lives, that no one is starving. I am thankful that we will gather with friends who have these same blessings. Mostly, today at least, I am thankful that my country still takes time to be thankful. May we all see our great abundance and give thanks to God.

The Great Confusion is ocurring on the north side of our house. We live next to a water tower and main water line. The area here is growing like gang busters, so they are doing work on the water lines. The problem is they have been working on it all year, ok, at least since early summer. The workers are out here at least once a week digging up the area, burying something, and then coming back to dig it up again. They come with big equipment, generators, and lots of men. I have come to call it "The Great Confusion" since they don't seem to know what is going on. Perhaps (hopefully) it is only I who am confused. ------------ I had high hopes that our insurance rates were going to go down soon. A university within our religious movement worked out a national group plan with Blue Cross/Blue Shield. But for the options available to us, it will be about $1,000 a month. Our current deductible is much larger, but the monthly premium is about half that. Certainly the coverage they are offering is better, but we can't afford 12,000 for insurance a year. This is a topic I will be watching closely in the election year ahead. I live in a country with the best medical knowledge and services in the world, but I don't get to use any of them. They are reserved for the rich. Yes, if something extreme happened, we would be offered care, but at a price that would make us wish it weren't available. That isn't much of a choice.

The in-laws just left, the dishwasher is running, the laundry is started, and I need a shower. There is no school today for us, and we are all loving it. I get the "extra" kids at noon, 4-H this afternoon, and #2's art class. I am trying not to focus on all of that, and just enjoy the slow morning. We saw Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium last night after dinner at, where else?, Golden Corral! The movie was great, rated G, yet deep and lovely. Not an ounce of ugliness or impurity, just plain wonderful. The idea that you can only see life as magical if you believe it to be magical is one to never forget. Now if I just had a magical nose to twitch this work done.

Saturday was busy, but great. #1 had soccer playoffs that whole day. They do it all at once to get it over with, but for those with more than one child playing it must be sheer torture! Anyway, our inexperienced team won the championship!!! He was happy, but really was so tired that there wasn't as much celebrating as I thought there might be. We told the boys we were going out for dinner to celebrate, but didn't tell them that their grandparents would be meeting us at the restaurant. It was the perfect ending to a great day. So the in-laws got here Saturday evening, and are staying until tomorrow. Hubby and I got a date last night and went to see Beowulf. I liked it; he did not so much. It was intense, which is unusual for me to like, but the story is good. And the special effects are amazing. The way the artists thought of every detail and animated it is just remarkable. Today we went to a little town nearby to get some fresh seafood to cook at home. Then we walked around looking at the boats and wildlife. It was a gorgeous morning, leaves changing, sun shining, cool breeze. Just like fall should be. This evening we are all going to see Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. There is no school this week for us, and we are all enjoying the break.

The Iraq War is a big issue today, in this age. Yesterday the 3 year old told my boys that we started Iraq. They were confused thinking he meant we started the country. It was something his father had told him, and he was just repeating what he had heard. But the issue is so big now that you don't even have to add the word WAR to it. The issue is hard to discuss without strong words and strong feelings pouring forth. I don't have strong words or feelings about the issue. I think I see both sides of it. I do think that Sadam was a threat to the world, many Kurds would agree. I think that oil policies were part of the decision. I think terrorists will continue to attack as long as no one counter-attacks. I do not want to lose my sons in war. I also do not want to tell my sons that it is ok to treat women like dirt, that women and children have no rights, that you should ignore the plight of the poor and helpless. There are some who say that this is a religious war. Others question how God could endorse war. I guess I say there is no answer to those questions. God must surely greive at the behavior of those who attack, and at those who ignore the hurting. I can not pretend to know what God would want from this. I do think, however, that he would like both the war and the ill-treatment of his creation to end- at the same time. That will only happen in the next age.

The conference was nice last night. I learned a couple of new things, and got some free resource books, AND had a nice, free dinner out. There were 4 homeschool teachers there and another registered that didn't make it. I saw statistics recently for NC home schools, and was flabbergasted. There are 68,700+ home school students in NC. It is nice to see us making a good impression on professional teachers and college professors. -------- Yesterday was a good day because I got a lot done in the morning, nothing out of the ordinary happened, and I had the evening to look forward to. Tuesday was not so great. I thought I would take the boys out to get their Book-It free pizzas before picking up #5 and then they could eat that for lunch. #1 went out to wait in the van only to come back in and tell me the doors wouldn't open. I had left the dome light on Monday evening and the battery was DEAD and more than 6 feet under. So Hubby had to come give it a jump and I went straight to pick up #5 and then to SAM"S to get a new battery. So we ate at SAM'S and that threw everything off schedule. Then I picked up #3 and #4 and took the kids to play at a playgroup so I would not have to waste gas going back and forth to town since #2 had art class at 4:30. I was glad to get home. I suppose all of that made me appreciate yesterday even more.

After reading my post yesterday, my husband informed me that he had gone to bed at 11 and the kids hadn't gone until 10:00. I guess the time change is just affecting the old woman of the house! I made it to 8:50 last night. -------- Back to the atheists...A debate that I watched between an atheist and a Christian had the atheist saying that a God who would allow such horrible things as this one evidently has should not be worshipped---pain, hunger, war, disease, and especially the crucifixion of his son. I can see his point. It certainly does sound like a horrible God when looked at that way. The Old Testament God often sounds like something I would not want to worship. But if I had to worship, were given no choice, then that would be a dictatorship of a God. Sometimes dictators work well, but usually they turn into tyrants. I think anyone could see, if they looked honestly at it, that a God who gives free choice is a better one to worship, even if it means he allows bad decisions, like war or destroying the planet and causing hunger. A God who will give his son over to death does seem harsh. But a God who loves me enough to even give his son for me, now that is a God I love to worship. And Death did not hold that son, and both he and the Father knew it couldn't. So how can that be bad? Again a lot of that is taken in faith, and therein lies the difference between an atheist and a Christian. --------- I have been thinking for a while about what I will do after the kids leave home. Recently I wrote that we have had to decide that life is different now than when we were children and I will not be going back to work soon like our mothers did. But at some point I need to make some money. So I started thinking about carpentry or electrical work, then yesterday I saw men working on a house at the community college and realized with the way I have messed up my back this year, that is not an option. So then I had to think about where will I be in the future. The common theme was that there will likely always be a small college nearby and with a Master's Degree I could probably teach at the college as an adjunct faculty. So now I have to decide what I would like to have a Master's in...I do NOT want to teach again in public school or private, but maybe education is an option, or history, or government, or speech and communications, or linguistics, or English Composition, or, or ,or Anyone want to offer an opinion? How in the world do we expect 18 year olds to make this decision? ---------- Along the same vein, I will be attending a conference this evening given by the local university. I have gone the last couple of years and enjoy being a "professional" again. We will be discussing education in the global community.

The time change has greatly affected my family. Night before last I went to bed at 8:00 and last night I barely made it to 9:00. Even my husband has been going to bed earlier and he is a night owl. I do wake up a little early that way, but I enjoy lying in bed and slowly entering the day with time to think and pray. In Texas the time change wasn't such a severe change in our lives because you are so far west, it is like being an hour early anyway. Here we are so far east that the change makes a big difference. I was thinking this morning that we have been here three years now. That has always been the mile-marker for a place to feel like home. 18 months to not be homesick all of the time, and 3 years to feel like it is home. I have to say it did not take that long this time. We love this little town and our home so much. We made friends so quickly and this is such a great place to home school that we really didn't take long at all to fit in. But now the three years are up, and I have to say I do notice now being at home here. I don't feel like I need to go see someone from my past or my family, if we stay here for holidays or weekends, it is just fine. I also know how to get just about anywhere from anywhere and that is a major sign that this is home. Home Sweet Home!

I have been confronted by atheism several times recently, and have come to the conclusion that atheism is very similar to theism. Both believe remarkable things, all in faith- there is no hard "proof" for either argument. To believe that this world and, all that is within it, just happened over time is quite a statement of faith. To say that there is a God who made it all and put it into motion is also quite a faith statement. But considering both of them, I would rather be a theist. An atheist who is confronted by disease, poverty, hunger, war, and death sees no hope and becomes bitter. But a theist who is confronted with the same things, sees a God who wants to welcome him home and gains great comfort. I enjoyed this piece of an article on the subject: "So if we open our minds as Bloom would have us to do- or perhaps, open our eyes- we can see that it is not true that contemporary American individuals are merely civilized animals. They are refusing to do what nature intends them to do, and no other animal is self-conscious enough to do that. And it is not true that they are unmoved by death. They want to avoid death so badly that they have refused to generate their natural replacements. Our individuals seem to know as well as the philosophers that existence is basically biological and that one's death ends all, so they work hard to stay alive as long as possible. But that self-centered work has been very hard on their friends, families, nations, and even their species. Our extreme individualism would raise the spectre of our species' disappearance if it were not for the fact that so many non-individualistic peoples remain on our planet, peoples who have not been remade by the philosophers. Individualistic Europe's likely future is not depopulation but Islamization, which probably won't be good either for philosophy or for Enlightenment." Peter A. Lawler

We had a busy Saturday, yesterday. #1 had a morning soccer game- won 4 to 0- and then we headed to church for a fall cleaning day. We threw away a bunch of junk, and that always makes me feel good. I like to declutter. Then we had a history expo in the late afternoon, and the boys did a presentation on the Renaissance: Leonardo da Vinci. He was a really neat man, so very smart. He designed a submarine, helicopter, airplane, and so much more. Most of his inventions were never made, but one was a lion that he presented to the king. When the king would tap on its nose, lilies would pop out of its chest! This was in the late 1400's!! Of course there was his paintings, too. The reason so many people were naked in the portraits at that time, was that they were just starting to understand anatomy and how muscles work. It wasn't a ludeness as much as an excitement about how the body works. Da Vinci would cut open cadavers to explore the muscle system. He was one of the first anatomists---this word was often written by my boys as atominist. So we had a talk about atomic war and how very different it is from anatomy! ----------- Today we had church and went out for lunch. Now we are home for the day and enjoying it. Tomorrow the boys go to a day camp in the afternoon and hubby and I get to go to lunch together. It is good to have co-op and the history expo done.

#1 received his first college information in the mail this week. He is in 5th grade, so it isn't something I expected. We have talked a lot about college, what he wants to do, where he wants to go, etc. But actually getting something in the mail was a bit of a shock. I figure we have 3 1/2 years before we have to get that serious about it! --------- #1 also had a bit of trouble with his writing this week. He had written what he thought was a finished biography on Leonardo da Vinci. After I checked it, it became apparent to him that he was not finished. The tears started after I had checked off quite a bit. I assured him that that was ok; his friends had been in tears recently for the same reason. My husband had heard the exchange, and at dinner brought it up. He told the boys how he used to write a paper, check it, then hand it to me and I would mark a bunch of stuff on it. Then he would rewrite, give it to his dad and HE would mark stuff. Then he would rewrite, turn it in, and the professor would mark things anyway. The boys wanted to know, "Why is it always HER that marks things?!"

We had a contractor come to give us an idea about what we can do with the attic. The very least is $10,000. He is going to draw up some ideas and give us a few options. But now it comes down to deciding how committed we are to what we have decided. Do we continue to live the way we have because we believe it is best for our family, or do we change our lifestyle, look for a job for me, or something else? It is time to put our money where our mouth is I guess. ---------- The ducks are officially setting now, at least I think they are. I guesstimate the ducklings will hatch around December 11.

A friend is going through misery with her daughter. Not that the girl is terrible- she isn't on drugs or running around with older guys- but she is causing stress by not following the plans her mother has made out for her. She isn't completing her school work and is looking at failing the ninth grade right now. Her mother has such high hopes for her, and the daughter is letting her future fizzle. It reminded me of God saying He knows the plans He has for us, plans to help and not to harm us. And still we let His plans go unfulfilled. We must stress God out, too. ------- The boys are working on a project about the Renaissance. They are learning about THE Renaissance Man, Leonardo da Vinci. So this week I told them they could either paint a portrait or a Biblical scene. They chose the latter, and #1 is painting his favorite Bible scene, Revelation 12 and 13---DRAGONS! He told #2 that he couldn't copy, so #2 had to pick another battle, of course. Anyway, he chose the scene where Elisha sends his servant out only to report back that they are surrounded by the enemy. Elisha asks that his eyes be opened and he sees that they are also surrounded by God's army. So #2 is painting looking through Elisha's eyes. In one eye is reflected what the regular person saw, and in the other eye is the spiritual scene. I was so amazed I didn't have the heart to tell him that that would not be a Renaissance painting. He is in a whole different realm.

A bird flew through my house last week. It was just a little bird. I actually wouldn't have recognized it, except that it visited the week before and told me its name. It said it was an ugly bird and really shouldn't visit, but it had been seen around and thought it would drop in for a bit. Then it showed up the next week, most unwelcome. I told #5 (who is 3 years old) that it was time for his nap and he told me it wasn't. In a stern, but loving voice, I assured him it was time for his nap and he would be taking one. That's when the bird flew into the bathroom. #5 was going through the routine of potty before the nap, and he wasn't happy about the situation, so he invited the bird to visit me. I was of course stunned, and wouldn't have thought a thing about it except that I now knew that he knew what he was doing. Now tell me when it started that a three year old should know this bird. He learned it from school; kids in an older class-- grades 1-3! ---have been inviting the bird to land at school. He saw it and learned how to call the bird to come when he wanted it. I was so glad that my boys are not in school to learn such things. Then they went Trick or Treating and saw a word written on the road. The fathers tried to move them along, but it had caught their attention. Someone had tried to change the word so it wouldn't be so offensive. Now #2 thinks the word is f-g-i-k. It quite confused his friend when he told him he knew the "f word" was fgik. I was STUNNED that he knew there is an "f word." I am pretty sure I was in high school before I heard that there was another word. That one does seem to be the big one. They know damn and hell, but really they hear those at church. So they know there has to be intent in those words. But the others- that they don't know yet. Ugh. I am sure it will make me vomit when I hear my babies start to use those words. And that bird just better stay away or I will get my butchering knife out!

I turned the heat on yesterday. The weather outside was pleasant, but the nights have been cold enough long enough that the house had gotten cold and wasn't warming up. So I did make it one month without ac or heat, but now the bills start again. But the change in weather has reminded me how little sense my children make. #2 spent the whole summer in long pants. He wore shorts maybe 3 times all summer, and always told me how cold he was. Now that the weather has turned cooler, he wears shorts and complains of the heat! Right now both boys are topless in the other room watching some movie on the computer. My husband wants to know why I'm not more like them! ---------- The new month has me thinking that we are so close to break. "Just hang on! It will be here soon!" I plan on taking December off when I make our school schedule. Not that it is really taken off; that is when we finish up all of the 4-H things and catch up on anything that has fallen behind. It is also a time to clean and clear out, and that is what I am looking forward to. The living room has to be repainted because the paint has peeled. The boys finally knocked some of it off the wall, and so it can't be ignored any longer. Teacher workdays mean a whole different thing when you home school!

I read a blog yesterday that was very emotional. The woman writing is going through morning sickness with an unexpected pregnancy, fires in CA were near her house, her parents are divorcing, and she found out her dad had had this friend for a long time. She was angry, frustrated, and tired. She was taking it out on God. She is feeling like she has been in a deceitful relationship with God, because he didn't protect her from these things. I understand her feelings. When everything starts falling in on me, it is hard not to blame God or just to blow him off. But I just can't imagine leaving God. Yes, I yell at him. I tell him I don't think he is doing his job right. I beg. I cry. But I don't leave or push him away. Even in my times of distress, I know deep down that God is in control and will do what is right. Of course even as I write this I wonder if I am jinxing myself to get some trouble and see if I push him away! ----------- The heat isn't on yet. I looked at the weather for the ten day forecast and we may have to give in on Tuesday night. I wasn't home enough yesterday to notice the heat, or lack thereof. I heard it may snow in Maine today. It isn't nearly that cold here!

I finally heard back from my uncle about the ducks. It seems they will lay about 40 eggs before they start to sit, so I should have been collecting eggs to eat for a while now. I don't know how to go about that now, since they have laid so many I have no way of telling which ones are new. Next time I guess. I did look online to see about buying ducklings for eggs instead of chicks. Ducks are just so much nicer than chickens, especially drakes over roosters. If you get to come back in the next life definitely pick a duck over a hen. Our rooster, Ugly, treats the hens like they are a fly and he is the swatter- quick, fast, and hard. Moe, our drake, is so gentle,slow, and easy- much nicer if you are the female, I am sure. Anyway, I digress. I was unable to get Khaki Campbell ducks at this time of year. They are good egg layers and don't get broody. I have to wait until March. They only hatch them March to October. So I was a little late. But this gives me the winter to figure out how I want to go about the change over. Yes, I remember that I recently said ducks are dirtier than chickens, but the nice thing is winning me over. If I can get a couple of pools to put out in the field I think I can overcome the dirty goat water issue. --------- I took the boys and a friend to see a farm today. They are learning about soil conservation in 4-H this year (#2 and his friend), and I have a friend who is a farm consultant. So we went out to see how no-till works and what other techniques farmers have to save the soil. Then we came back and worked on the presentation they have to give about it. Afterward I took them to see the Bee Movie. It was really cute and funny. Now I am back to make cheese and butter. What a day!

Last night was fun; it always is. I think Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love the dress up and candy. Last night the dads took the kids out and the moms stayed at the house and passed out the candy. That was a first. As we sat there talking about this and that, it came up that there is a 23 year old who doesn't know how to cook or do laundry. It reminded me of when we were in campus ministry and the students were clueless. One didn't know how to make orange juice from a can. All you do is read the directions and add 3 cans of water! Then I started thinking about my own kids. Last week I had #1 make brownies from a mix- not something that happens often here. He put the eggs, oil, and water in the bowl, mixed it up, and declared it done. I looked at him like he had lost his mind. He didn't add the mix in the box! So Iguess my kids will go to college knowing how to cook from scratch, but don't expect them to make a mix.