My decision is to mail her a check and a very nice note completely ignoring her lies, and continue the deal as it was made. The burden of proof would be on her, and I have the goats. Just hope she isn't a really mean lady...I am imagining hang up calls, stalkings that end in goat thievery, etc. --------- Hubby and I had a nice date last night. The people I work for got tickets for us to attend a Garrison Keillor show. They were good seats, dead center in the balcony. The opening act was a NC band called Molasses Creek. They finished with a funny song about "nature people" that had a chorus of, "I cried bottled water tears over you." Keillor was great. He doesn't seem to have any notes, though he does look at his hand a lot, and he talks the whole time. He was on stage about 2 hours. He shared some childhood memories, some commentary, some recitations of poetry, and sang with us. It was a much later night than I expected. Afterward I had to pick up the kids from a friend's house, so I got home about 11:30. ---------- I tried milking Mary this morning. She went right in the pen and up onto the stanchion. Then when I tried to milk her, she stamped and snorted and jumped! It will take several days to get her used to it, so I guess we will have to buy milk again this week. Afterward, I was petting Fay and touching her so she will get used to it. She was very calm and I looked at her head to see that she had her head in the bucket and was slurping up what little milk I had gotten from Mary. I'll have to keep an eye on her and the bucket!

I was madder than a hornet last night. I am calmer this morning, but still irritated. The woman I bought the goats through is lying through her teeth about the deal. Now I have to decide whether to give her the babies back or complete the deal as it was made. I am leaning toward completing the deal. There was no written contract, she has no proof of anything, and she lied to the wrong person. However, I am wondering about her future relationship with Christ. She knows I am a Christian, and she obviously isn't from other things I found out the day I met her. I wonder if this will taint her so that she will never look to Christ or will she see it later as my honesty and her greed and look for her Savior in that. --------- Today is the first day of summer vacation. Friday we had a surprise swim party for the boys with some of their friends. We took them to lunch and then met at the pool. Afterward I took them on the church camping trip. I told them happy end of school, and #1 said, "And to our teacher, too." Yes, the teacher is happy school is out, too!

Hubby was preaching today about being content from Philippians 4. At one point he said something about evangelizing his neighborhood. #2 got a shocked look and asked, "Why would he want to vandalize the neighborhood?" Close. ----------- Something was said in Bible class that has had me thinking today. We have been studying the book of Kings, and often noting how the Israelites forget what has happened and continue farther down the road away from God. We all seem very surprised by the Israelites inability to see what has happened and to change course back to God. But then I start putting it into my situation today. I know that the USA is not God's chosen nation, but we have historically been a nation for Christ. We also seemed to be a very blessed nation, and many put that down to our basis in Christianity. But if you look at our relatively recent history, you can see how quickly we have turned from God and chosen another path. In the early 1900s our nation started loosening up on alcohol use, how women dressed, and the language permissible in the company of others. Science was changing the world, and we weren't being left behind. Medicine was changing and experiments were being performed on the handicapped and senile. By the 1960s, alcohol and drugs were sweeping the nation. Open ended relationships were replacing monogamous relationships as the norm. In the next 40 years what you saw on television and the movie theater would change drastically. Prayer and patriotism would no longer be allowed in schools. Behaviors of children would change, no one would be blamed for much, our health and wealth would desist, and yes, we would leave God. It all started as a small slide, that has turned into a roller coaster. As I have grown up during most of the changes I can't say that I noticed it as much, until recently I have had it put upon my heart. Much like a prophet in the ancient times of Israel, I imagine my message will not be welcome. I wonder if it will take hundreds of years for our country to return to God...or will we at all?

Yesterday our 4-H club sponsored classes at our church offered by the aquarium. The kids were able to learn about all kind of ocean topics; 6 classes were offered. We met at our church and one of the mothers was asking me a little about churches of Christ. She asked if we are like Baptist and Methodist churches. I have a hard time answering that. Yes, we believe the same basic tenets about Jesus and God, and even likely the Holy Spirit. No, we are not a bit like them, because each congregation decides for itself what it believes. We have universities and a newspaper. We have common beliefs. The only creed we hold to is the Bible. Does the Bible allow missionary support, women to pray, one cup communion? Those are congregational decisions. So are we a "denomination-wannabe" or are we a "non-denomination-wannabe?" How about, "We are Christians." --------- 2 days of school left!

Last night was the 4-H club sponsored talent show. The state project this year is to be an artistic theme, and so the kids decided to sponsor a talent show for the homeschool group. #1 entered two pictures from the art class he took in co-op. He didn't win, but I do really like his paintings. I have seen a lot of improvement in his abilities this year. I wonder if the teacher at the university is helping. #2 gave a demonstration on cooking an omelette. He is such a chatterbox. He didn't have any trouble talking while he cooked, and took first prize in his category. He is planning on doing the same for his presentation next month for the county presentation contest. The talent show seemed to be a success, so now we have to write it all up, add the photos and other stuff, and hand it in. One mother said we aren't doing the state project next year. She says that every year. I thought this was a whole lot easier than the backyard habitat last year. ---------- The last couple of days have been concerned with insurance. The cost of what we have is going up again. I started looking a couple of months ago for other options, since it does always go up. Finally, yesterday, we got paperwork back and hubby was denied. It is so frustrating that he gets denials when nothing is really wrong. His liver functions are elevated sometimes, as are his mother's, but nothing ever happens because of it. We are a family that rarely goes to the doctor, works out at the gym, eats great, takes no medications, doesn't smoke or drink, and yet we can't get affordable insurance. Frustrating. There was a story on CNN yesterday and they said middle income is 25,000 to 50,000. That would mean that we are upper middle class. Stunning.

The movie Expelled ended with one of the lead evolutionists saying if he met God he would ask, "Why did you take such pains to hide yourself?" I was dumbfounded as I see God everywhere I look. I would have to have you prove to me that there isn't a God. I suppose it is what you are looking for. I agree with Romans 1:20 "From the time the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky and all that God made. They can clearly see his invisible qualities- his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing God." ----------- I had such a bittersweet dream last night. Somehow hubby and I separated. I was miserable and we got together for a weekend. We visited his family and the kids were with his parents. His grandfather was still alive, and all of us were so happy. By the end of the dream we were back together. I just can't imagine living without my Lover. ------------ My dad and I went walking over the farm behind us when he was down a week ago visiting. We met the farmer back there and I asked him if he is selling the land. Actually, he had just bought it- or was in the process of buying it. The woman who owned it had passed away last year and it was up for sale. He said he is planning on farming it as long as he can; he is 55 years old. That was good news. He and Dad also talked about how much it costs to farm now. He pays $300 a day just on diesel fuel. The price of fertilizer tripled in the last year, to about $800. The tractor he was driving was about $100,000, and there is more equipment than just that. Personally I am shocked that the prices at the store aren't higher. We figured out what you would have to make a day, and this minister family can't afford to farm!

We went to see Expelled yesterday. The boys mostly didn't understand it because we haven't really discussed the topic before. The movie is a documentary by Ben Stein about scientists in America losing their jobs when they discuss Intelligent Design. Stein does a good job of exploring the real issue...Is it a religion issue? Is it a scientific issue? Is it a freedom issue? Just what is the issue? It would appear that the issue is an absence of freedom to explore all possibilities. The scientists are free to explore evolution and Darwinism, but not to explore the idea that there may have been a guiding hand in the creation of life. It was shocking to hear the head of the science department of the European Union say that there is more freedom in Poland to explore this topic than there is in the USA. The last part of the movie explores what the significance of this is, what could happen if ID is not an option. Stein goes back to Europe, especially Germany, pre-WW2. As life no longer had a meaning or value, it was easily put aside. First the mentally handicapped and then the insane were euthanised. Those who could not add to the gene pool in positive ways were forcibly sterilized. And ultimately, a race that was seen as inferior was nearly anihilated. A thought provoking movie...and full of hidden symbolism and cartoon wisdom. Go see it.

Our cat Pete went missing yesterday. Hubby said he supposed it was about time. We never keep cats very long. Tiger was the longest at just over a year. We like Pete. He was abandoned by the family that moved their house from across the road. He loves attention and is very gentle, unlike Leo. I went through the boys' clothing yesterday to get out summer things and to pass along the outgrown stuff. There were also 13 pair of size 12 pants that I weeded through. #1 is in a 16 now and #2 won't be in a 12 for a while, but I don't think he will need that many pair of 12s. I put the bags of clothes in the van last night before settling down for the night. When I opened the hatch I heard a pensive, "Meow." Pete had been stuck in the van! I have no idea when he got in there. I opened the van door once yesterday to get out my sunglasses. I can't imagine he got in then, so it must have been about noon the day before when we got home from our errands. I didn't smell anything horrible, so I am hoping he didn't do anything in there. ----------- Hubby is reading The Glass Castle now. I think all of my descriptions and gasps had him intrigued. Last night he was laughing over the gypsy neighbors. When they lived in Phoenix they had "weird neighbors." I'm sure that's what the neighbors thought, too. Anyway some of the gypsies stole their pogo stick. They tried to get it back, but the gypsies put a curse on them with a dead chicken. So the mother went over and waved a ham bone at them and put a curse back on them. The pogo stick was back the next day.

What a week! On Sunday I wasn't looking forward to it, and at the end of the week I have to say it was great, but I don't want to do it again any time soon. Testing every morning, visiting lots of friends, taking care of the "extra" kids, and working on 4-H projects. Today I will have several projects to get done, but it is all at home and there won't be any visitors. The boys think testing went well. We'll find out in about a month. I really don't care if they bomb the whole thing, but grammar HAS to be better this year. We spent a couple of weeks before the test reviewing grammar. The talent show Monday evening was a lesson in losing. The boys think I am terrible for putting them in something that they will lose. It was a long talk about how you lose if you don't enter and sometimes you win if you enter, but you never win if you don't enter. They don't like those mother talks. I finished the book The Glass Castle. It certainly made me thankful for the family I have. This is a very dysfunctional family, but the book ends with them all being happy about their dysfunctionality. I guess if you don't know normal then it isn't so bad not to be normal. Another friend is reading the book, and she said it is like a car wreck and you just can't look away. I agree.

What a wonderful weekend! My parents got here Thursday evening and we got to spend some time with them. My dad mowed the lawn while Mom and I took the boys to co-op on Friday. Then we picked up some little friends and went to dinner and then the show. It was #1's moment to shine as the university put on a play called All Aboard, America! Part of the show was his story about being a cabin boy for Blackbeard. He had his picture taken with the cast, and his name was up on the screen when his part of the play was going on. His daddy said that in his unbiased opinion, #1's story was the best. My parents left Saturday before the big surprise of a litter of triplet goats! The mother was acting odd about 7:00 and I went out at 9 to check on her. There was the last one being born. There are two girls and a boy just as perfect as they can be. These are dwarf goats, so the babies are about 4 inches tall at the shoulders. Sunday, Hubby's parents came up for church and we had lunch here at the house. That way we could visit a while before they took off North. Then in the evening friends from Ohio came over to visit, as well as some other mutual friends. It was a long day, but lots of fun. Today the boys started their standardized testing. We test with a group of homeschoolers, and my kids think it is lots of fun. It's a chance to have snacks and visit with their friends in their eyes. The testing is just something they do as an aside. Hoping the best for the Grammar scores. We have worked hard on that this year. I am proctoring the 9-10 graders for the test, and I am liking it. I have always done the Kindergarteners in the past. Procotoring high schoolers gives me the time to read a bit during the test. I am currently reading Soul Salsa and The Glass Castle. They are two very, very different books, but I like both. More about them later. Tonight is a talent show with 4-H. The boys are reading some of their poetry. #1 has really gotten into haiku lately. I was trying to explain limericks this afternoon, but I think we better stay away from them.

I took the boys yesterday to visit their grandparents. They are staying at Carolina Beach, NC this week. It is about 2 1/2 hours from here. I figured if they came that far, I could travel a ways too. So we went down and had lunch and dinner together, and played in-between. Actually, I don't know much of what they did, because Hubby's aunt and uncle were there too, and they took me out for the afternoon. We shopped a little and saw the movie, Leatherheads. It is very funny, old time funny I guess you would say. The boys went to Fort Fisher, the Fisher Aquarium, and, of course, McDonald's. They were using the metal detector on the beach when I got back. It made for a late night, but it was a great visit. It has been damp and chilly here for several days, so it was shocking to see kids playing in the ocean. I went over and asked where they were from. My suspicions were confirmed when they said the Cleveland area. I knew you had to be from up north if you were in that water! We were bundled up.

I realized more strongly today how God's ways are not man's ways. Sometimes God makes absolutely no sense, and I really wish I could see the bigger picture so that I wouldn't be so frustrated by God's "inconsistencies." In Bible study this morning we were looking at King Ahab, Jezebel, and King Jehosaphat. It plainly says that King Ahab did all he could to disobey God. Jezebel didn't really have to have anything said about her- she was obviously wicked. Ahab was told that all of his male family members would die because of the way he behaved. He showed "remorse" and God said, ok it wouldn't happen until Ahab had already died. Then Ahab went on his merry way disobeying all the more. But King Jehosaphat turned his people toward God. He convinced them that they should follow God as their ancestors had done. Then Jehosaphat and Ahab formed an alliance against the Syrians. Jehosaphat made sure to ask God's blessing on the attack, all that you would think he should have done to please God. The answer: God is angry with you Jehosaphat. Now how in the world does that seem like a Godly response? The only thing I could take away from it was, "God's ways are not my ways and he knows ever so much more that I ever will." I also thought about "To whom much has been given, much will be demanded." So maybe I am glad that I don't understand "much."

I started reading Humility by Andrew Murray last night. Here are a couple quotes from the intro and chapter one. "Others have thought that the strength of self-condemnation is the secret of humility. And the Christian life has suffered loss, because believers have not been distinctly guided to see that nothing is more natural and beautiful and blessed than to be nothing, so that God may be all." "The call to humility has been too little regarded in the church because its true nature and importance have been too little understood. It is not something that we bring to God or that He bestows. It is simply the sense of entire nothingness, which comes when we see how truly God is all, and in which we make way for God to be all. Man must realize that this is the true nobility. He must consent to be- with his will, his mind, his desires- the form and the vessel in which the life and glory of God are to work and manifest themselves. Then he will see that humility is simply acknowledging the truth of his position as man and yielding to God His place." I found this refreshing. Humility is not abasing myself because of sin, but realizing God's place in the order of things. Humilty should be natural when we realize who God is. ----------- Boy, the third graders in Waycross, GA stunned me. I have a third grader and I can't imagine his little mind or heart wanting to harm anyone in such a way. He may want to pound his brother, but true harm is never his intention. The truly stunning part of it is that people are asking how could this happen. I think it is rather obvious that these children have been allowed to watch things that are not intended for them, they have been ignored and neglected by their parents, and they do not yet know the love of the Lord. How sad that this should happen. ----------- I was telling my kids about God's telling me in the Bible that He can be trusted. #2 said it sounds like God was giving me an April Fool's joke.

Sunday in Bible class. I made a statement that sort of surprised my husband. I said, "You can't trust God." Now what I meant by that was that God doesn't do things the way you expect Him to. We were discussing Elijah and why he would run away and fear for his life after all that the Lord had already done. I think it is pretty simple. God didn't tell Elijah that he would live, that the tide would turn, that he would destroy Jezebel. Elijah trusted God to do what he said, but not to do what he didn't say. So this morning I woke early and was in bed talking to God about this. I was explaining to Him that I do trust Him to protect me, care for me, provide for me in Heaven. BUT I don't know what He is planning in many ways, you know, the specifics. And in that way I can't trust God to do what I WANT. Then I got up to do a little Bible reading. Here is what I turned to in 1 Corinthians: God can be trusted, and He chose you to be partners with his Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. 1:9 Well I guess God told me to put a sock in it!