I was embarrassed today. I could feel my face turn pink. Hubby announced to the church that I had won the grant to teach economics. He never says anything personal from the "pulpit" (we don't actually have a pulpit), and it took me by surprise. I'm glad to know he is proud of me. He even looked up how many winners there were, something I hadn't done. There were only 2 in NC, so I guess that speaks well of me. ______ We finished The Long Winter, and are now on Little Town on the Prairie. The Long Winter intrigued me. I can't imagine that happening now. We would get food to those in isolation, no matter the weather. Katrina showed us that it might take a few days, but it certainly didn't take 7 months! People nowadays wouldn't know what to do if the food didn't come with directions of "add water and 2 TBS of margarine." Anyway, it has had me curious. The indian's warning was this happens every 21 years- a really, really bad winter. That means that last winter, 2006-2007, would actually have been time for the bad winter. I don't remember hearing anything about it. I wonder how much global warming has affected that. -------- Tomorrow starts my first day camp. It is environmental studies and has a lot of experiments. I hope I have everything together. I feel like I do. So today, as much as I don't like to on Sundays, we are cleaning house. I spent yesterday helping with the church Water Day, and then finishing up the planning for the economics seminar. So that left today for the "dirty work." Since #1 had no clean underwear this morning, it also meant doing a load of laundry. I have no idea where his underwear went. I gave him a bunch to put away on Tuesday. He either hid it really well (I have looked too) or he just stuck it all back in the dirty hamper so he wouldn't have to put it away. Who knows. Maybe this will teach him to take care of his laundry when he is to put it away. Probably not, clean underwear is not that important to a 10 year old boy.

I have a friend who recently moved with her family to Ohio. She is very unhappy with the move. It was a good move for the husband's work environment, but it hasn't been so great for the family. They moved to a town of about 3,000. There are few homeschoolers, and those she has found have been isolationists. They don't want to be in groups or to have friends. She went to a support meeting a couple of nights ago, and the women weren't allowed to talk unless their husbands gave permission. They all wore blue denim jumpers too! That tells you something right there! We are so very blessed to be here where home schooling is so well supported. We have great friends and we all work together. The boys really enjoyed their geography co-op yesterday. This coming week, I am teaching a day camp at my house on the Environment. That will be our school for the week, and other kids will be joining us. Then the next week I am teaching a seminar all week on Economics. That will have even more kids at it, and again it will be our school for the week. I would hate to be going this journey alone. ----- Geography did go well. The boys practiced their speeches several times before we left. It was so cute to hear #2 practicing aloud as if he were there with his friends. He kept making comments like they were there. They enjoyed making the foods too. We made cheese stuffed focaccia from Italy and lavosh from Spain. Lavosh is a crispy sesame seed flat bread.

Hubby and I went to see No Reservations yesterday while the boys were at camp. It was a very "wet" movie. It wasn't a sobbing movie, but leaky definitely. Tomorrow I want to try Hairspray. I enjoyed the movie yesterday, but I would like to laugh more than cry. The boys are excited about a co-op we are going to today. Last year I put together a geography co-op for the USA, and #1 thanked me nearly every week for putting it together. That was all the motivation I needed to do it again this year. However, it is going to be a shorter co-op this year. Last year we met for 14 weeks and that was just too long. This year we are meeting just 4 weeks. We are learning about European geography, and this week it is the Mediterranean region. The boys have Italy and Spain. Part of the co-op is to bring a snack food from your country. We are taking cheese stuffed focaccia bread and lavosh- a thin bread covered with sesame seeds. The focaccia looks so good I think I will make some for dinner. The lavosh has to be made this morning. ----------- The Minneapolis bridge collapse is big news right now. It certainly is devastating and shocking. The part that surprised us was the very first idea anyone had was that it might be terrorism. That never occured to us- just a terrible accident. Perhaps I am still naive, or perhaps others are paranoid.

The kids are off to camp for the day. They are participating in a 4-H day camp. They are going to Bath to learn about the oldest NC town and to learn about Blackbeard, who stayed there a while and married the town leader's daughter. Then they go to Goose Creek Park to go seining in the river/estuary. This is one of the camps that they have looked forward to all summer. We picked up friends who were also going to the camp. They don't live too far from us, thankfully. #2's shoe broke while we were picking them up, so we had to drive back down here to get new shoes before going to camp. Just love that little extra bit of stress! So now I have the day to get some school work done and to meet my husband for an early movie. Of course, I was up last night not feeling well, so I took a medicine that has knocked me for a loop. I think the day's activities will include a little nap. ------------- Last night my group's topic was laughter. We spent a lot of time laughing as well. It was good. Then Honey had a movie to watch, and I felt badly saying it is 10:00 are you nuts?! So I watched the movie with him. It was very full of sexual inuendoes, but funny, funny, funny. I think Honey enjoyed my laughter more than the movie.

Last night was my night off. I spend it in different ways every week. Last week I had a great time just staying home and worshipping God. Some weeks I work in the garden, read a magazine, plan school, clean house, and sometimes I go out with friends. Last night I went out to dinner, did some shopping for supplies for school, and then met a friend for dessert and chatter. It was fun to just sit and talk. The conversation is sometimes light, sometimes deep, but always friendly and uplifting. A woman needs other women. ------------ #2 made lasagna for dinner on Monday. He was supposed to make Mexican sandwiches, but changed his mind as he looked through the cookbook for the recipe. He saw the resipe for lasagna and decided he would rather have that. His father's response had me laughing. "You have to shop for the ingredients and plan it out. You can't just change your mind willy nilly about something like that. You act just like your mother, never following the rules!" We had lasagna, had to substitute some of the cheese, but someimes you just have to break the rules!

I fell asleep and then my husband came to bed, the dog started pacing, and now I am awake. I let the dog out and then she came back later, barking at the door. She wants to sleep in my room by my side of the bed now. I do let her do that when it storms, but it can't be a nightly occurence. For one thing, she moves around all night and wakes me up, and for another, Boy does she stink! An outside dog, part-time indoor dog doesn't work so well. We went to a get-together at friends tonight. They have a pool and most people swam and then we had a cook-out. I so much love getting together like that, but it just doesn't happen often. We get so busy with other things, that time just slips by without realizing you haven't been together in a while. Anyway, the kids had fun swimming and the adults had fun visiting. -------- The boys have started cooking once a week. On Mondays they pick out recipes for an entree and a side dish. If they want a dessert they can do that too. Then I go shopping for ingredients on Tuesdays. #1 cooks on Thursdays, and #2 cooks on Mondays. They have done well and I have been surprised by their choices. #1 has made turkey pie, catfish, apple crisp, strawberry banana coolers, and blackberry cobbler. #2 has made taco soup, a salad, chocolate pie, and for tomorrow is making Mexican sandwiches (like Po Boys), platz cake, and something else I forget right now. They are really doing fairly well. I do have to aid #2 a good bit, but #1 is mostly supervision. I make another side to go with their meal while they are cooking. It was during the catfish night that I realized I may need to be more careful about my supervision with #1. I was passing by the island when I saw him pouring pepper into a measuring cup. "What on earth are you doing?" "Getting the pepper ready," he innocently replied. "Well I am sure you don't need that much. How much did it call for?" I asked. "1/2 a cup." "No it didn't!" The argument went on a little while longer until I asked him to read the recipe to me. "Oh. 1/2 teaspoon," he meekly admitted. That was a close call!

The grass is mowed. I worked in the garden for a while this morning and then started mowing. I didn't at first plan to mow it all, but the more I looked at it, the more I realized it all needed doing. I try not to mow too often, saving gas and the environment. I was trying to time the mowing so it would be looking nice when I have kids here for day camps in August. It wasn't quite working out, so I suppose I will have to mow more often in a week or so. Too bad for the environment, aesthetics is winning. The boys and I walked over to the area where they are putting a new road in next to our land. It goes very far back. I think it will be a large development. I am trying to look at the positive in that- our kids may find some friends, and the value of our place increases- but looking at the way the earth is being mutilated makes me sick. There is a beautiful area in the back that looks like it will be a cul-de-sac. I am sure it will be a high selling area, but I wish they would have made it into a green park instead. I told my mother-in-law recently that I have what I want, so I am happy. I just hope the neighbors turn out to be nice.

I read a poem, A Christmas Carol, by Christina Rossetti yesterday. It is about Christ coming to Earth as a baby. I liked the pictures that she created. She spoke of Christ leaving everything and coming to where all he needed was a breastful of milk and a manger of hay. I also liked the picture of all the angels and cherubim worshipping Christ, but only the Virgin Mary could worship him with a kiss. What an honor it was to be the mother of Jesus. To be the one who provided nourishment, sustenance, protection, care, and love for God would have been overwhelming if she thought about it too much. I also have been enjoying a women's band out of Canada, The Wailin' Jennys. One song especially spoke to me yesterday in light of the previous poem. The song talks about how bad life has gotten for the person and they just want to go "home." The refrain is something like this (I don't have a copy in front of me): "Hallowed be these frozen fields, where Heaven and Earth are far away, and every single one of us still left in want of mercy, Take me home." In a world that started with God in it, we have done so much to destroy it and ourselves. Then when God came back to help us, we paid no attention. Now we are all left in want of mercy. Going home will be a wonderful thing.

I took the boys to a class on snake identification yesterday. I was hoping to identify what snakes we have been seeing around here. It seems that most of what we have seen are probably rat snakes. They come in different shades so it is hard to say, from my perspective anyway. I found out that a King Snake will eat all other snakes. That explains the stories I have heard of black snakes eating copperheads. It was probably the king snake. Hubby was trying to be Father of the Year. #1 really wanted to read the new Harry Potter book, but it is a rule in our house that Daddy has to read it first and give approval. #1 was upset by that because his dad is a slow reader. So my Sweetie bought the book and secretly spent over a day reading it. Then last night, for Guys Night Out, they went to dinner and then came home. Daddy told them to go sit on the couch, as if they were in trouble, and then began reading to them aloud. They were very pleased. Hubby says we need to read it aloud to them because there is some language that needs to be glossed over, but he thinks the story is fine. We went to the library yesterday too. #1 checked out some Warrior books that a friend has been reading. They are about cats' and dogs' secret battles. So last night they listened to Harry Potter, and then when I went to read aloud from The Long Winter, they were both in the living room reading books from the library. We are a very bookish family.

We woke to crying goats this morning. The boys and I had a 4-H County Council meeting last night so we fed earlier than usual and put the kids in the coop away from Millie. I guess they were pretty hungry. Yesterday Kelly woke me by coming in the bedroom and tapping my arm with her paw. I guess tomorrow will be the chickens' turn to sound the alarm. Much better than a blaring buzzer, that's for sure. ------------ Sunday was a good sermon about discipleship. The point was that being a disciple of Christ means serving others. Serving others is often inconvenient and bothersome. I have so many other things to do. I work up until the last second before church, which makes it a chore to give a ride to someone. I do a lot during the week, so cooking a meal for a sick person or the shelter is just one more thing I have to do. (sigh) Serving others means putting their needs before your own, and becoming Christ to them. What an honor and privilege, I must remember that when I start to sigh. ------------- It occured to me yesterday that homeschooling is a full time job. I was so tired last week and assumed it was the weather, but I think now it was starting back to school. I remember being tired like that the first week or so when I used to teach school for a living. Yesterday just kept going and going. I did manage a 20 minute nap in the afternoon, but otherwise I was on the go. I have to imagine it is what it would be like if I was still teaching professionally. The housework, garden, animals, extra-curricular activities, etc. would still need to be done, AND I would be gone all day teaching. At least this way I get to throw a load of laundry in or sweep the floor in-between lessons. But I love homeschooling my children, and I wouldn't change a thing.

We went to Sunday in the Park last night. The band was from South America, and the Hispanics in the audience were enjoying it. The two women on the bench behind us were singing along. Of course, we only understood a word here and there. When I was at the shelter the other night one of the ladies from Mexico tried talking to me in English. She has improved greatly, and the little Spanish that I know helped a bit. I spoke to her about the oddities of her language and she said the same issues bothered her in English, like the placement of adjectives. She admitted to us that speaking in English makes her nervous because she doesn't want to mess up. That is the same problem I have. I guess at some point you just have to get past it. #1 asked yesterday why he has to learn Spanish and I told him because it is a language that a lot of people in our country speak. I understand the issue that a lot of people have about if you come here you should learn English, but I think Jesus would have tried to learn their languauge too. If you are trying to help someone and can't speak to them, it doesn't really matter at the time whose fault it is that you can't communicate. I once saw a man in a doctor's office that couldn't get help because no one could speak to him. That made me really realize how important it is that I learn, although I have to admit I haven't done a whole lot about it. ---------------- Hubby heard this conversation a couple of days ago. #2 yelling, "Ugly (the rooster) STOP that!!!" #1, "It's just kissing." #2 "No it isn't. It's TORTURE!!" They were discussing the rooster jumping on the hen when she jumped out of the cage. Breeding hasn't quite sunk in yet.

I am milking Millie now in the mornings. I let the babies nurse during the day, so I can only get one milking in. I plan to sell Billy very soon and to put Milky Way in a pen away from Millie. Then I can milk twice a day and hopefully do a little better with the milk. #1 decided this summer that he likes goat milk and so he has been drinking it all. I am happy about that. Fresh milk is what I want for my children, but it means that I don't get any to drink and that there won't be any cheese. I am thinking that I need a few more milk goats. The problem lies in what to do when I am gone, like a vacation or a meeting during milking time. Missing one time here and there isn't bad, but to be gone for a week like we will be in October is really hard. I have trouble finding someone who knows how to milk and is willing to do it for me. I did find someone with a cow who is willing to share some of the milk with me. So now our kids and hubby can have real milk. #1 has started having some "grease" on his face when he sweats, and I would like to postpone puberty as long as possible. ------------ A friend from church is out of jail and back with us. He made some mistakes in the past and had to be away from us for a while. He has been gone about 9 months, and last night we went to a welcome back party for him. My boys are so happy that he is back. He has always been so sweet to them. I pray that he will stay on the straight and narrow now and do well.

I am blessed that a man has never beaten me and neither would I allow it. I worked at the domestic violence shelter last night and one of the women is still swollen from a beating over a week ago. I can not imagine being with a guy on purpose who is capable of that. ------------- I was reading The Long Winter to the boys last night and after I sent them to bed I had to keep reading. It is one of Laura Ingalls Wilder's books. I have read it before, but it still had me enthralled. I couldn't imagine what it must have been like that winter. I remember how cold it was in here a year ago when the heater would quit working and it would be 53 when I would wake up. It was 40 below 0 in an uninsulated house with just a coal stove for heat for them. You would never feel warm. They were running out of food and fuel with no prospect of getting more. They spoke of being so dependent on things that they didn't used to need, like kerosene, coal, railroads. Pa said the world is changing so fast. I thought that was only the beginning of the fast change. I'm not sure we could get by if something drastic happened like that winter. I hope we don't have to find out.

We went to a waterfowl park on Wednesday. It was a field trip I had been wanting to take, and Weds. was free so it was a good day to go. There are birds there from every continent. We went with a friend and her kids, and we all had a good time. The boys especially liked the Hawaiian Goose because they would stand and look at you and seemed to talk to us at times. While we were on vacation I talked with some people at my in-laws church. They were very impressed with #1. He has a lot of Bible knowledge, and they say he is sweet and very sharp. Another is very impressed with his integrity---he wouldn't watch a movie clip that was rated what he isn't allowed to see, even telling the Bible School teacher that he couldn't watch it. I hope he stays this way through his life. It reminds me of Daniel and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. I certainly believe something special surrounds #1. He had a special birthmark after he was born, and I felt like Satan tried to get to him when he was still a toddler. There is danger in that though. Besides the obvious spiritual battle with Satan, it occured to me that if we were going to church in that particular congregation, it might be detrimental to #1. Being a preacher's kid here seems to have no special expectations, but to be the preacher's kid where your dad grew up and your grandfather is an elder could be too much pressure. Again, I am so glad to be where I am.

I have read a lot of Amish stories. The way they live is intriguing to me. I am interested in how you go about life in today's world and don't do most of the things that today's world does. Well our trip to Amish Country burst my bubble a bit. The women were wearing the dresses like you expect, but they wore crocs, flip flops, and Nike on their feet. They have solar panels on their houses to charge the batteries that they use for their farm equipment and household appliances. The women were using weed eaters on their yards. And at any hour of the day or night they were out in their horse and buggy- now don't they need to be home getting their work done, or sleeping at night?! According to our hosts their way of life is so that they will remain dependent on their community. If you don't all have a tractor then you have to help each other with your work, if you all loook alike then there isn't competition to be better than the others. But it would appear that it is not working. Everyone seemed to have everything they needed. More and more are working outside of the home, because there is no more land to have big farms. It seems the Amish are having a 20th Century Crisis in the 21st Century. I realized they are having the same crisis that I am having. How do you be a Christian in a fallen world? How do you have a community of people that believe like you do, who can be part of the way you want to raise your children? My husband said the problem with the Amish is that they don't make Christianity a viable alternative. For most people it is not a possibility to live like they live. So how can I make Christianity a viable alternative to those around me? I am working on that daily.

Millie is now a milker. The goats are one month and two days old and they had to sleep away from Mommy last night. The girl, Milky Way, cried like a baby. I'm surprised she had any voice left. I got almost a quart of milk out of Millie, that's better than when she had Elvis. Twins must be requiring more milk. I picked them up last night and they are quite fat and sleek. I mowed grass yesterday and started weeding the garden. I picked a HUGE bucket of cucumbers, so I guess I will be making pickles soon. The potatoes are starting to come up and the beans and sweet potatoes look pretty good. We have no luck with corn. A storm came through a couple of weeks ago and it tore down most of the corn. Now it is all dead from that. ________ The full week that we were gone on vacation Hubby and I went on a retreat in Ohio. It was for pastors and their spouses. There is no technology allowed--computers, email, cell phones, television. We spent the week renewing our friendship with each other and our relationship with God. I spent most of the time reading the New Testament. Being out of our routine during summer break had me out of my reading habit. I was thirsty for the Word. I sat outside on the porch or in the hammock and just read the Bible. It was good. A little insight was given to me about my husband. I have always felt like he watches too much television. He has it on while he writes, reads, relaxes, whatever. I can't handle that. It is distracting and makes me waste time. So while we were on retreat there was no tv. I didn't have a problem with that, but I did have a problem staying inside with him to read. I have to be outside. It occured to me that being outside is how I stay connected with God, how I stay focused, how I get things done. Not being able to do that is like my husband not being able to have the tv on while he works. Strange how we focus so differently.

School started fine yesterday, and no one died. The boys were sure starting school again was going to kill them. #2 was tired by 10:30; he hasn't had to focus as much with school out. #1 was happy that there is no English or Spelling this year. He willingly did all of the work once he realized there was no English looming ahead. It is all a trick, you see. We are learning several other languages this year, but in doing so you learn about your own language. We started Latin yesterday and there was a lot of talk about singular and plural, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person. We wrote a thank you note to an aunt who sent a book to them earlier, and that involved some work on capitalization and punctuation. He just didn't realize what he was doing without a workbook to guide him! ----------- We had a 4th of July cookout and kickball game at our house before we left for vacation. I think we had 28 people here. It was good to sit and visit with people and catch up on their lives. We just don't do that enough. Beforehand, though, we had to get everything ready for the party and then also to be gone for 10 days. So the boys and their dad were raking grass up in the back yard, when #2 put something in his pocket. "What did you just put in your pocket?" asked his father. "A cricket," he slowly answered. "You can't put a cricket in your pocket," was his daddy's logical remark. "He already has 6 in there," replied #1. "Well it's ok," offered #2, "I put some grass in my pocket too." When hubby told me that I burst out laughing. That explains the laundry a couple of days before that that had a bug fall out of it. You just never know what will happen around here.

I'm back. We left the 5th to go to WV and visit family. We stayed mostly with my parents, and then hubby and I went to a retreat in Ohio. It was over Friday and we went back to WV to visit his family. We got in last night about 9:30 to discover Kelly missing. There is a lot to that story later, but she is back safe and sound. It was good to see family and to get away as a couple, but it sure is nice to be home. 10 days is a long time. I went away last July for 10 days and it seems like it was a long time then too. #2 was ready to get back yesterday and said this morning that he enjoyed being in his own bed. School starts today and I am looking forward to getting back into a routine. During school I start the morning with prayer, Bible reading, and this blog. Somehow that doesn't happen when we aren't in session. I am a spontaneous person, but routine is needed as well as spontaneity. I will write more about our trip over the week. We had a good time and a few revelations along the way.

It is 5 a.m. and I am awake. I woke up about 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. I thought maybe if I write about some things, then I may slow my brain down enough to get a nap in before I have to get ready for church. I spent Saturday working hard outside. It was supposed to rain all day, and then they changed it to the afternoon. I was planning on getting in as much work outside as I could and then working on things inside. Well the rain never came until suppertime, so I was able to get a lot done, but I probably pushed myself too much. The back is really achy. I put up new wire in the chicken coop, cleaned the coop and spread it on the garden, washed out all of the watering devices with Clorox, and cleaned the camp chairs for our 4th of July celebration. I am looking forward to vacation next week, but I have so much to do to get ready that I am having trouble relaxing. My uncle is to come and visit some time in the next couple of days, and hopefully he will be able to take Elvis to my dad's house. Then my dad can take Elvis to the stock sale up there. I tried to take him here, but with no trailer it is difficult to find someone to help. I still have to confirm people watching the animals while we are gone. My kid that always watched them for me and did a good job moved this May, so now I am in search of a trustworthy person. I need to be ready to jump right into school when we get back, too. Which doesn't mean so much for school, but I want to have everything around the house finished so that I can focus on school and not try to finish up projects. Projects are always easier when the extra kids are gone and school is not in session. I have also scheduled a lot for August so I need to work on those things when we get back. I have scheduled 2 day camps and an economics course; therefore I lose 3 weeks in August. I am really looking forward to what we will be learning though. One is an environmental day camp and the other is science-- lots of experiments. The economics is a course that I won a grant to teach. So all of that, the garden, the house, vacation, church, letters that need written, and probably more have been keeping me awake. Now that they are all out there I should go to sleep. I sure hope.

Goodness time has gotten away from me and I haven't written in a few days. We did make it to the beach on Thursday. We stayed for about 4 hours and had a wonderful time. The kids enjoyed their boogey boards a lot. The water was warm and they found a good spot to catch some waves. I am proud to say that #1 did not get third degree burns again this year! He kept his swim shirt on and even a hat part of the time. The waves were getting strong about the time we were leaving and there was a threat of rip currents, so it was probably good that we went when we did. Friday #1 had day camp to learn how to kayak. He had a good time. Actually his response was, "Some good, some bad." Which for him means, "Yeah, I kind of liked it." He had an arm cramp and had to be towed back to shore, so I guess that put a damper on things. I think he just got tired and gave up, as he is prone to do. We have to work on his "man-up" skills. #2 and I worked outside for a while and then went swimming with a friend. The sun was intense yesterday. I was working on tearing down the chicken wire that Elvis has once again destroyed. #2 was mowing the goat field. We are trying to start him there so that he can hopefully learn by next year how to mow well. There were big patches left and he was all over the place. That is why you start them in the goat field. I sold a chicken this week for $22! A man stopped by and wanted to get a hen for his little neighbor. He wanted to buy Carolina, but I didn't want to sell her. So he bought Virginia for $10. Yesterday he came back and again wanted to buy Carolina, but I still said no. He annoyed me long enough that I let him buy her for $12. Later, I kept thinking Goergia sure is getting around (she looks like Virginia), and then when I fed I realized that Virginia and Georgia were both in the field! He had brought back the first hen. So I was actually paid $22 for Carolina!

I just got back from taking the kids to the dollar movie. It is Flushed Away this week. I didn't see it when it came out and I liked it. The slugs are the best part- singing music from long ago (my childhood years) to set the mood. Yesterday was a wonderful day. It was the last day to have my extra kids for about 6 weeks, so I took them to the state park to swim. I had never been there so I wasn't sure what I was getting into, but it was really nice. The kids asked to stay there forever, and that they wished it was France (where they are going for a month or so). The water was never too deep for any of them and there was lots of room to play in the water. The beach was great sand and they had a wonderful time digging and building in it. There were huge old trees draped in spanish moss that hung over the water, so we were in the shade most of the day. They played in the roots of the tree pretending all sorts of things. We found crabs, jellyfish, sea horses, clams and fish. #2 cracked open the clam and we all looked inside at the "guts." Everyone asked to go back again. I am certain that we will. I kept thinking the author of Last Child in the Woods would love this place. Tomorrow we plan to go to the ocean. We have tried several times this summer and haven't been able to work it out. I was discussing it with hubby last night and saying it didn't look like we will get to go this week either and he commented that it is such a shame to be this close to the ocean and never find time to go. So we decided to put in some extra time today and try hard to go tomorrow. We won't stay long, but I feel so rejuvenated by going to the shore.

For the wages of sin are death. I like The Message's take on it: Work for sin all your life and the pension is death. Work for God and receive a life, eternal life. It seems there is a lot of slavery here in the USA that no one notices. Our citizens are slaves to drugs, sex, greed, selfishness, fame, you name it. I doubt they know they are in slavery, but it is obvious that they can't break away and experience freedom. It is in the 12 step programs, when they try to free themselves from their addiction, that they see God's way is the way to freedom. It seems to many that God's way is a tight, choke-hold, but it is certainly just the opposite. -------- We went on a bear hunt a couple of times yesterday, but no bears were seen. I do hope we get to see them--from a short distance while in the protection of the van! The 5 kids all got in the front seat yesterday and stuck their heads out the window looking for the bears. I think they were just as excited to be sitting in the front seat and sticking heads out the window. There is so much that they don't get to do because the world is different today. I used to ride in the back of the truck bed with my legs dangling out, or in the front seat with my hand waving out the window in the air current. The windows don't even open where my children sit in the van. -------- It rained yesterday evening. Praise the Lord! It was a fast rain, but not too hard, so it did seem to soak in well. I think it may have rained through the night some as well since the deck is still puddled. We hadn't had the air conditioning on for a few days, but yesterday was so humid that we had to put it on. Well good luck with that, because it wasn't working. I had turned it off last week when it kept running constantly, no matter what the temperature read. So we thought it might be the thermostat. Hubby and I worked on it and sure enough a new thermostat was what it needed. I was afraid hubby's thought that the ac is one thing that could still go bad in this house may have come true. Thankfully it didn't. -------- A man stopped yesterday and asked to buy a hen. He was working across the road laying brick and saw the chickens. (How could he miss them? They run all over the place.) His little 5 year old neighbor wanted a hen, so he came to buy one. He wanted my nice black hen, Carolina, but I couldn't let her go. I like her too much. So he took a different black and brown one, I think it was Virginia, but I didn't see her next to Georgia at the time and I have to in order to tell them apart. Anyway, he paid $10 for her and left. Now if someone would just stop and buy Elvis!

A friend asked yesterday if I had heard the wives' tale of hanging a snake in a tree to make it rain. No I had never heard that one, but he says some people are trying it the last couple of weeks. I haven't hung any of the snakes we have had, but if it would work I suppose I would do it. It looks like rain often, but nothing ever falls. The garden looks pitiful, though I am starting to get some produce...beans, squash and zucchini. I took the boys on a bear hunt this morning. According to the neighbors there is a mother black bear and cub(s) in our back lot. We went driving back there to look, but didn't see anything. There are a couple of ponds back there and I imagine that the bears are looking for water there. Our own pond is dry as a bone, but it isn't lined yet, so I guess that is ok. We need to dig more out of it, but somehow we just don't seem to have the time. All I do is work, and it still never gets done. I don't know how people who work full-time get anything done.

We have a strange dog. She sleeps on her back spread-eagled with all four paws up in the air. I am sure if she saw a picture of herself she would be mortified. _____ The wedding was vey nice. It was a simple ceremony that involved people in the audience, not just the couple. The guests were to bring a flower and they were all placed in large vases. That was to represent how each of us has had a part in their lives. Many people prayed for them, the groom's father was the minister, both the mother and father of the bride walked her down the aisle. The bride was exuberant and enthusiastic through the whole ceremony. They just seemed so happy and excited to be marrying. My own wedding, of course, was going through my mind. I found out that my husband and I have different memories about what happened. He remembers just trying to stay out of the way of me and my mother. I didn't want any music as I came down the aisle, and she said you can't do that! I ended up coming down to Ruth's Song: Whither thou goest I will go. Your people will be my people...I remember smiling so much that that night my face hurt. The boys seemed to enjoy the wedding. They asked lots of questions: What does a ring bearer do? What is a bride's maid? Why is everyone laughing? (The father of the bride put his hand on the shoulder of the groom and gave a deep sigh.) They both said it was fun. I couldn't help but wonder what their bride's are doing now. I pray that they are being raised to know the Lord Jesus Christ and that they are learning to be loving and kind.

I finally did it ! I stayed up until 11:00 last night in hopes that I would sleep trhough the night, and I did. I woke up at 7:23. How wonderful to have a full night's rest. I was starting to feel like my husband. I was sleeping on the day bed in the office most nights. That is usually where he sleeps, not because I kick him out, but because he can't sleep. The new baby rabbit died yesterdayI am not sure why. I don't think it was too hot, but I don't know. We went to see Evan Almighty yesterday. It was cute and the whole family laughed. There were remarks that went over the kids' heads because they aren't of the generation to understand-- like an indian standing in front of a pile of garbage-- and there were a lot of hidden things--like God's nametag reading Al Mighty. The special effects were great, too, and the thoughts of what it must have been like for Noah to do what he did with opposition from the neighbors was thought provoking. I give it a thumbs up. We are going to a wedding today. The bride is the daughter of friends at church. I can't remember the last time I went to a wedding, and I don't think the boys have been to one. #1 was to go to his aunt and uncle's wedding (he was not quite 2 years old), but was sick so he stayed in the back room with friends and didn't get to go to it. Hubby has been to more than we have--he has performed them though.

We have a successful adoption! A rabbit had babies the other day, her first litter, and she didn't make a nest or try to take care of them. One died before I could get to it, but the other one I wrapped in old fur from Christa and put it in her nest box. She has been nursing it and is doing fine. I don't know how the bigger baby feels about it, but I guess it will get along. There are lots of older and younger siblings in the world. Goldie is sitting on 9 eggs. She went broody late last week, but she didn't get on any eggs. So I tried putting some under her, but other chickens got into her and broke the eggs. Then I tried putting her in the manger to set, but she refused to go there. So finally I made a nice nest in the nesting boxes and she seems to have settled down to it. The eggs will hatch while we are on vacation, but she has always been a good mother. The goat kids are doing well. They are coming out and exploring a bit now. They are about the size of our cats and they like running and playing with them. The grass is so high in the field that the kids bounce to get through it. They are very adorable. ----------- OK, I had a blonde moment last week. Hubby and I went to the movies one afternoon and watched 2 movies. Instead of getting dinner somewhere, we decided to get the refillable popcorn and soda. So while he went to get the next tickets, I went to get refills. The server at the counter told me I had to take my top off. "Excuse me?" "I need you to take your top off." I gave him a very confused look and asked, "My sweater?" Then he handed the cup to my honey and asked him to take the top off. I laughed for a very long time. Someone needs to teach him the word lid.

So yesterday I was cleaning the bathroom. You may think that means cleaning the toilet and sink. Yes, that was involved, but mostly it meant washing the walls down. Now there are sections of the wall that I wash every week with Clorox just because there are 5 boys using that bathroom regularly. But yesterday, it was mud that I was washing off of the walls. There was mud on every wall, door frame, door, and cabinet. Not big hunks of it, but droplets of muddy water splashed everywhere. I am 5' 7", not a short woman by any standards, and I had to stand on top of the toilet to reach some of it. When #5 came in to ask what I was doing, I told him about the mud and showed him where it was. He responded with, "Yes, it shot up there. I was washing my feet and it just shot right up there." I have no idea if that was true, it could be, but it sure is fun to have boys. Even if it means washing muddy walls.

YeeHaw and Hallelujah! I finished painting the trim yesterday. Now I have touch up places around the house walls, since it has been 2 1/2 years since they were painted. The worst places are in our bedroom because of some remodeling that was done, and in the kitchen where the kids bang their chairs on the wall. So it looks like my desire to finish the painting this summer will happen. The first summer we lived here I spent trying to get it to be home. I started watching my extra kids, planted a garden, mowed 2 acres with a push mower, kept painting, and looked for friends. Last summer was spent travelling. We went to the Smokies, to WV a couple of times, Virginia to a conference, and then the big trip to PA, NY, and Canada. This summer seems to be stay home and get it done summer. The garden and landscaping are finally taking shape. The house is nearly in order. I feel like I am getting my act together. Guess the curtain will come down soon; it always does when I think I have my act together. --------- We have to get rid of Elvis. He is a great father, protecting his children. But the boys can't get in there to feed, and we all want to play with the babies. So I will be working on a sign for the front yard. I tried the paper, but had no luck. I may end up having to borrow a truck and trailer and take him to the stockyard. I promised the boys the goats would only die of old age or sickness, so I won't be butchering him. I can't promise what someone else will do with him though.

Well #2 stayed out most of the day yesterday, and he did spend the night out again. It was too hot to spend the whole day out though. He is interested in finding shark's teeth now. The last neighbors on the lane have a pile of gravel that has shells and shark's teeth in it. He goes back there and collects. He has been taking other kids along with him. He seems to know what type of shark a lot of the teeth come from. He even picked up sting ray teeth. #1 is happy to stay inside and read. I really messed up yesterday. I thought #1 had kayaking day camp. So I got him out of bed, sprayed down with sunscreen, and on his way with his dad. Then hubby called to ask are you sure it is today, because no one is here. Sure enough, I had forgotten that the date had been changed to next week. I felt so badly about it, and so insane. I seem to be forgetting things a lot lately. Another rabbit died yesterday. I didn't think it would be too hot for it to handle now. I still don't know for sure. It may have been too hot to move out of the way and got laid on too much. The other rabbits, as stupid as this sounds, lay on each other when they are hot. The boys seem to be growing again. We are going through milk and cereal like nobodie's business. I remember my brother doing the same thing when we were young. I guess I have to start going to the store more often.

Kelly has spent the last hour or so barking, so here I am bright and early. Now of course, she is lying on the front porch, content to lick the dew off of her legs. The next time we get a dog, it will be one with a small yappy voice so as not to wake a person through the night. Actually, I am glad for her since she can scare away most varmints that might want a bite of chicken for dinner. My dad lost his whole flock of chickens to a coon this past week. He trapped it and now it is no more. #2 is out in the tent. He wanted to sleep out by the pond, and then spend the whole day outside and sleep out again tonight. He likely will achieve that goal. When I saw him on Tuesday after camp, I asked how it was. "The usual, except they kept us cooped up inside the whole time." My friend who had picked him up said she knew they had been outside for at least half an hour, and they were only there for 4 hours, so he definitely needs to get outside. I need to remember that when school starts. We are reading On the Banks of Plum Creek now before bed. Last night's reading had Laura saying she would rather catch fish than go to school. I thought that is my boy's attitude. Yesterday was Father's Day. My own father spent it in the hay field. My father-in-law travelled to see his other son. My husband got to go to a nice lunch at the Mongolian Grill, and then come home and lie around. Actually, I don't think he enjoyed it as much as he would have liked. I had a fever and aches and so I was a bit of a downer on his special day. I did start to feel a bit better by evening and managed to make his present-- a blackberry pie. #2 wanted to know why I didn't make a pumpkin pie instead. "Daddy doesn't like pumpkin." "Well, then, could you make both? I don't like blackberry." Then he suggested that is what I can do for Brother's Day. --------- I spent Saturday in the garden weeding and hoeing. Then Saturday evening I started not feeling well. It seems that every time I spend a lot of time in the garden, I get sick. It feels like my strep flares up. Does any one know if I could be picking up strep from the soil? --------- Saturday also found us back in the milk business. Millie had twins; a boy and a girl. The boy is dark brown with a black stripe down his back, and the girl is gray and white spotted with a few small brown spots. Elvis seems to be proud of them and isn't bothering them as I had feared. Some friends came to visit them and were confused as to how Elvis could be a brother to his children!

The boys are back. #2 came back yesterday morning and #1 in the afternoon. They both had a good time, and I think they did some of the same activities. #1 went to Space Camp with 4-H and #2 went to Astronomy Camp with a museum. I noticed #1 came back with a shirt that had NASA on it, so perhaps it is a curriculum developed by NASA. My father-in-law jokingly asked what makes the boys think they are on vacation. That sounded like school to him. I guess we tricked them into learning something. I did manage to get one room painted, and some other places nearly done. Today I am working on the garden. The weeds have been thriving now that I am watering the garden a few times a week. We really need rain, watering just doesn't seem to give the same nutrition that rain does. The melon type products are doing well; they seem to thrive in the soil here...pumpkin, cucumber, watermelon, squash. I even have some coming up from last year! I might get green beans this year too. It has always been too wet for them, but we raised the soil level and we are having a drought, so they are doing ok. I need to spray them for bugs though. I read about using a garlic solution to deter bugs organically and plan to try that. --------- I talked with a friend yesterday about a mutual friend. We just don't understand the thought processes there. She is willing to let her children suffer in order to appease the husband. The daughter has spoken of suicide because she knows no one would miss her, and it appears to be true. I have never been mistreated by my husband, nor my father, so I don't know what goes through the heads of women who are, but getting out of it would be high on my priority list I am pretty sure.

My sweetie and I went out yesterday. A friend had the kids for the afternoon and night, so we went to the movies. We went to the new theater and watched 2 movies. I enjoyed both of them; Ocean's 13 and Pirates of the Caribbean 3. We bought the refillable popcorn and drink and had that for our dinner. I like the new place because you can put your own butter on---I like LOTS of butter at the movies. Next date is Thursday evening. I have #2 and his buddy tonight. #1 leaves this morning for sleep-away camp. I started painting trim again yesterday. I really want to get that job finished this summer. We will be here 3 years this fall and I don't want to go into the third year still needing to finish the painting. I have a second coat left on a door and window sill, and 2 half rooms around the house. I don't know why 2 half rooms, but that is how it worked out. I guess it was because I had other people helping to paint. --------- Reading from Ignatius Loyola this week, I was struck by several of his thoughts: Those who go from one mortal sin to another are usually influenced in this way: the enemy proposes certain illusory delights, causing them to imagine sensual pleasures and enjoyments, the more effectively to keep them under the sway of their vicious and sinful course. The good spirit deals with these same people in the opposing way, working on their consciences by reason to induce compunction and remorse. The contrary prevails with those who are making earnest progress in self-purification, rising from good to better in the service of God our Lord. In these cases it is typical of the evil spirit to cause regret and sadness, using fallacious arguments to disturb them and impede their progress. On the other hand, the role of the good spirit is to provide courage and strength, to console and inspire, to move to tears, all in a spirit of peace. Everything is made easy, all obstacles are removed, to enable the soul to continue in virtue.

I am having trouble sleeping again. I came out to the front room to read a bit and try to get a little nap in before the day must begin, but no luck. I did enjoy watching the dawn come. This room is on the west side of the house, so I didn't see the sun actually rise, but the light changed so slowly. At first it was a pale gray dimness. Then it was a little less gray and a little more blue. The shadows dispersed and what had been outlines of things to be were suddenly made visible in the morning light. It was so slow and yet so sudden. I thought this is how children are. Just like a dawning morning or the changing of one season to the next, children grow imperceptibly and all at once. You can't see the changes occuring until you close your eyes for a minute. Then when you look again you see how much they have progressed. I close my eyes and see my babies, see the looks on their faces, remember their funny words. And then I open my eyes and they are children about to embrace puberty. Especially in the ten year old, I see how he wants to be older, more in charge of his life and others, and I detect the clinging to his childhood, how he sometimes says "mommy" instead of "mom", the way he leans into me for a hug, the fight within himself to sit on my lap. Such subtle changes that you don't see them unless you close your eyes and then look again. A new day is dawning. Perhaps it has already.

I just dropped #2 off for the start of his camp. He is going to a museum for Astronomy day camp with a friend. He and his friend will be taking turns staying at friends' houses so that it will feel like a sleep away camp. They will be here tonight and Weds. night. They spend Thursday night at the planetarium and he is very excited about that. They are going to do some "real" astronaut training in a pool then. You should have seen his face light up at that news. #1 starts camp on Weds. and his is sleep-away camp. So hubby and I get Tuesday and Thursday evenings for dates!! YeeHaw!! I still have my "extra" chuildren M/W/Th so it isn't a lot of time off, but a date sure sounds good. We went to Sunday in the Park last evening. We didn't get to go last week because of the weather. Yesteday was a "Big Band" type of sound. The weather was actually quite cool, and it was nicce to sit and visit. The kids had fun finding a couple of friends to run around with, too. I love Sunday in the Park.

If I sneezed any harder I would be mistaken for a jet. I woke up at 4:30 with allergy problems and it just keeps going. I get a reprieve now and then, and then I try to get a nap in to energze for the next round of sneezing. The house was so clean on Friday, and now with not feeling well, it looks nearly as badly as it did! How quickly things fall apart around here. I did get a good bit of yard work done yesterday. We were supposed to have a day at the beach, but #2 woke up vomiting, so we stayed home for the day. I guess it was better since I did get a few things done that way. But the lawn mower broke, just as I had a few more swipes around the barn to do. The blades won't engage, so now there is something else to fix. We turned on the air conditioning yesterday. It was supposed to be 100 with the heat index. 5 of the baby rabbits died from the heat. I brought the mother and 3 babies in when we realized, but I think one of those babies is not going to make it. I took them back out for the night and I will bring them in again this afternoon. I feel so badly about it. They were precious little bunnies. Christa had lots of gray ones this time. I just picked a bowl of strawberries this morning. I am still getting a bowl a week I guess. I forget the name of the strawberries, but they are supposed to be everbearing. They will quit soon when the heat gets intense, but this fall they will bear again. The rest of the garden is coming along slowly this summer. We are not getting nearly enough rain.

Still reading Romans. Chapter 7 is very interesting. You don't sin until there is a law that says something is sin, and you don't necessarily want what the sin is until it is declared sin. If you tell me eating spinach and strawberry salad is bad for me, then I will want to have it all of the time. As it is, it is not sinful and so I desire it in small amounts. That is the way of sin. But not having a law doesn't make something ok either. If it is no longer illegal to kill someone, we still know by our emotions that it is wrong to kill. How many "laws" have we tried to change in our society, so that something that was illegal will now be ok. It used to be illegal to live with someone before marriage, but now it is accepted as the right thing to do, the obvious way to make sure a relationship is worth having. Yet, people aren't staying together as long as they did when there was the law. Children are scarred by ruined relationships of parents. Sexually transmitted diseases are rampant. Even without the law, we know it is wrong. The reading I was discussing with friends last night was about losing your own desires and taking on a relationship with God. This is so very un-American, that it can hardly be stated. The Prayer of Jabez says that you can pray for whatever earthly riches you want and God will provide. That is very American; people will listen to that. But most scripture tells us not to store up riches on earth, but in Heaven. Perhaps that is why hearing scripture at our church is not necessarily working. But I would rather have assurance of life after death than death after life.

Currently, a favorite place of mine is sitting on the daybed with the windows open. The front yard trees provide a shady area, the front porch swing looks charming, and the mixture of all of the shades of green out front is calming. I like the breeze that blows in there. The room here stays fairly cool. BUT, the traffic passing by is so fast and so loud, that the experience is dulled. I have thought about putting up a fence to help get rid of the noise, but that is one of the things I hate about many communities, privacy fences. So I close the windows during morning rush hour, and think of the more peaceful times. I met a couple of friends last night to visit and have some dessert. It was fun to have a night out. I often use my night off to catch up on things without having to talk to anyone. It was refreshing to get out.

Snakes. So far we have seen three this spring. Yesterday, a friend was visiting and as she got in her car she saw a snake beside her. The awful thing kept going under her car and then under my van, back and forth. Finally, my husband killed it. We didn't kill the others we have seen, but this one just wasn't giving in. We are fairly certain it wasn't venomous, but we don't know what type it was. I HATE snakes, so this is not a good part of the backyard habitat that we have been developing. I worked outside a bit yesterday too. The island in the pond is looking good, but one side isn't growing anything. So I planted some coneflower seeds. They were from a conservation event I went to when we lived in TX, so I don't know if they will still grow. Besides the snakes, I have seen rabbits, lots of insects, and lots of birds. I know there are crawfish, and I have also seen toads. So I guess we are doing our part for the environment. I have been reading Romans lately. It is so full of thought-provoking ideas. Today it is the idea that if you are a sinner (not a Christian) you have no resistance to sin. You can't help yourself. It seems that you sin, whether you want to or not. You are a slave to sin. If people could see that they are slaves I think they would change their lives. Who wants to have no control over their own selves?

It was a good weekend and a bad weekend. The weather was nice for our church Family Fun Fest, and everyone had a great time. It was a bad weekend because I was in a depressed state of mind. I am the boys' Sunday School teacher this summer and yesterday was my first day. They are the only children who attend the class, and it would be so much better if other kids would come. The boys thought friends were coming and they stood looking out the window and running to the window whenever a person walked by. It was sad; I thought #1 was close to tears. I don't know why we have such trouble getting people. I think the church is friendly and open. They are very Bible-based and scripture oriented. I have been praying for 45 children to be a part of our church by August this year. I have been praying that for 2 years. We aren't anywhere near that, and it is frustrating. I look at other kids who have gone through a large youth group, and I don't see the commitment to Christ that I want for my children. I know that my children enjoy going to church, and they like adults and aren't bothered by being part of an adult crowd. They volunteer to read and pray at group gatherings, and they talk to others about Christ. But it still hurts that they are alone. I know that God will do what is best for my boys, but it is hard to remember that when you see them looking for a friend.

I was out early this morning. The moon was so full and bright last night that I thought perhaps Millie would have dropped the kids during the night. She didn't. She was having some trouble yesterday morning getting up and down, but nothing there either. It has to be soon or she will explode! The windows and door were finished up yesterday, and they look nice. There is a screen on the door and that may be my favorite part. Now we can leave it open and let a breeze flow through the house. It will be interesting to see how the Low E helps in the sunroom too; it can really get hot in there. Of course in the winter I liked that it could get hot, but in the summer didn't. I guess I can be fickle. I had a visit with a friend yesterday, too, and was saddened by some of her news. A mutual friend has stopped talking to her. She hasn't stopped completely, but she doesn't confide in her anymore. We think there might be physical abuse; we know there is verbal abuse going on. It must be so sad to think that this is the way you are supposed to be treated. Her father was abusive too, so she has known nothing else. She is nearly 50 years old. What a life. Tomorrow is our church's Family Fun Fest. There are inflatable toys like a slide and bounce house, carnival type games, and a cook-out. We have invited several families as our guests and I think they are all coming. The boys are very excited. I am in charge of the games, so today I will be blowing up ballons.

We had a discussion about Martin Luther King, Jr. and civil rights last evening. He was a very eloquent writer and speaker. He also seemed to have a lot of self-control. I noticed that his work took place during the time that the Black Panthers were also going about their business. They were at different extremes of the continuum though. It must have been so frustrating to feel like you not only have to fight against civil injustice, but you also have to fight against those who are fighting it in their own way. I have been reminded lately that a gentle word turns away wrath, but it doesn't seem to always work. The proverbs are situational ethics, not absolute truths. Our neighbor is mad at us for putting a drain across the road. I am trying to be calm and speak gently to him, but he just seems to think that I am not upset or doing anything about the problem. I guess I am a pacifist and he is a panther. -------- The new sliding door and the rest of the new windows come today. Soon we will have a brand new house!

I have been busy outside lately. We have a sidewalk in the front of our house, though it isn't needed and nobody uses it. It had become overgrown with grass. So I started digging it out and yesteday finished that. It looks much nicer now, though no one is still going to use it. Now if I could just get some mulch around the beds int he front it might look like a suburban home. The subdivision owners next to us are probably happy. Looks like the chickens are too. They are out there now scratching and pecking where I dug around the sidewalk. So maybe the subdivision people won't be happy. ___________ I found a nice house at the beach for us to use when hubby turns 40 in the fall. It has 5 bedrooms and we are staying a week. It sounds like family will be coming and going that week. My mother would have to take time off without pay for part of it, and my sister-in-law isn't sure about her daughter missing all of that time in school. But the four of us, and maybe the in-laws, will stay the whole week. It is definitely something to look forward to. I just hope no one gets sick like at our last family gathering. Monday was the first time I felt like myself again. That was more than a week later.

My men folk made it back safely on Friday. The boys had spent a week with their grandparents and hubby had gone to a seminar in Michigan. He stopped back in WV to pick up the boys and visit a while with his parents. We met at Cracker Barrel for dinner and then the boys rode home with me. They had me in stitches and never knew it. #1 was telling me about a lesson they had had in class at church about horrible truths. I asked for an example and he said smoking. The horrible truth is that it makes your breath stink and your teeth look bad. Once that happens, he continued, you can't find a good wife, so you settle for a bad tempered woman. She refuses to go to church with you and when you have children then they are bad tempered like their mother. The kids won't go to church either and then their kids won't, and before you know it all of those generations of people are bad tempered and don't go to church and it's all your fault. "Wow," remarked #2, "all of that from 1 cigarette?" "Well, something like that." Then they started playing with the whoopie cushion #2 bought at Cracker Barrel. #2, sitting behind #1, would make a fart noise and #1 would guess how he made it--whoopie cushion, mouth, arm pit-- then #1 says you didn't do anything. #2 laughs and says yes he did, "Silent, but deadly." Thank goodness we were nearly home by then! _____ While they were gone, the really pretty rooster turned mean on me. He would stalk me and attack. I kept Kelly with me when I fed so that she could keep after him. So yesterday we killed the rooster. #2 and I butchered him. It was such a shame; he was a beautiful bird. Then when I went to bed I started reading another of the books of Laura Ingalls Wilder's works. The editor was talking about how life has changed and that people just go to the store now for food. Then, if you wanted fried chicken, you killed the chicken, scalded it, plucked it, butchered it, etc. He spoke of the smell that goes along with that, and said people today have no idea about all of that. Well, not all people! ------- Today is Memorial Day. In my hometown there will be a big parade and school children will place flowers on graves in the National Cemetary. I was able to go to the celebration last year. Thank you, God, for a free country to live in. And thank you to all of the veterans who made it possible.

I moved here because God told us to. I enjoyed moving here for many reasons, but there are reasons that I moved here that I didn't know about when I moved here. Here are my top 10 reasons for moving here that I never knew ( not in any particular order). 1.Spring lasts a really long time here. The weather is nice, lots of things flower and bloom; it just looks pretty longer than what I am used to. 2.Strawberries grow great around here. I have picked fresh strawberries and made jam every spring now. I made jam yesterday and it is the best I have ever made. I am even picking strawberries out of my own garden this year. 3.Cucumbers do very well, too. 4.People look at you when you walk by- even in the face! And, they often say hi. 5.You can see the stars at night. 6.There is a wonderful home school support group. 7.There are NO cottonwood trees! 8.The university has a great after-school art program. Maybe I should just say the university in general. I have enjoyed many benefits from it. 9.Sunday in the Park is fabulous. Every Sunday evening in June and July people gather in the Town Commons for a concert. It is very Rockwellian. 10.It is the only place that I felt like was "home" right away. Thank you God for reasons I never knew.

I bought a series of books while we were on vacation. They are compiled writings of Laura Ingalls Wilder's magazine articles. She wrote for a few journals before she wrote her children's series. I read one while I was sick in bed last week, and I was surprised by how much the topics were things I still hear today. She spoke of taking care of the Earth and cleaning up litter, being a good friend, being a hard worker and honest, the busy-ness of life and how there just never seems to be enough time to get things done (even though there is just as much time to get things done as there was when you used to get things done), and that parents should be disciplining their children and not leaving it up to the state or the schools. I was really very surprised by how relevant and insightful her thoughts were. I plan to have my boys read the books when they get a little older. The problem is that I will have to black out the title: Writings for Young Women. There wasn't much that was only for young women in them, but I don't know if young men could get past the title.

It took a lot of traveling around town, but I finally got the pictures printed that I wanted for the kids' yearbook scrapbook of school. I finished making it last night and then had the awesome job of organizing all of my paraphernalia this morning. I was struck, yet again!, at how much my boys do in a year. They really are getting a very good education. Here is a sample: Geography co-op for a semester, ECU art for 2 semesters, 2 co-ops, 4-H (lots here), trip to PA, NY, Canada, DC, Old Salem, fire fighting clowns, dental health nurse visit, Blackbeard's visit, cooking and sewing lessons, Greek lessons, writing contests, the fair exhibits, Cultural Fair, plays attended, astronomy lecture, storyteller, and on and on it goes. They also read voraciously, have math, history, and science lessons, and now are starting piano. No wonder we are ready for summer vacation when it comes. Besides organizing this morning I also mowed most of the yard. I left a good bit around the pond area and some other higher grass in a section of the back. It is suppposed to be a wild area, but I don't want the neighbors too mad at me. I did see a lot of bees, so hopefully our little section of the world is helping their population.

I was talking with a friend yesterday who spoke of having small children. She feels that perhaps she didn't enjoy the young time as much as she would have if she would have had family nearby to help. She felt suffocated by the constant attention and clinging of the children. I said yes it helps a lot. We lived with family while the boys were very small, and having that extra attention and help was very good for all of us. But as for enjoying the stage at the time, I don't know how much has to do with family nearby. I feel like I missed a lot of the very young years because I was distracted by our situation; no job, living with family, feelings of depression. So even in the presence of family, you can still miss what you should notice. The answer is to be in the present and realize it doesn't last long. The future is only a day away and then this time is past.

Here I am. I have been a bit lost for a while, but I have returned. We had a nice holiday in the Smokies with family. This year we tried the Ripley's Aquarium. It was nice at the home school rate; I don't think we would have enjoyed it at the regular price. There is a moving walkway through a glass tunnel and the fish swim all around you. I was most amazed by the sawfish. I think that was the best for my 5 year old niece as well. We went to Cade's Cove, of course, and enjoyed a nice picnic and afternoon hiking and playing in the creek. We did manage to see a bear but it was quite distant. The show, The Miracle, that we purchased for the in-laws' Christmas present was good- the kids liked the live animals and the flying, battling angels- and we went to another dinner show where #2 got to be a participant in the show. He was the "understudy" for Paul Bunyan and he was to chop the bad guy. He did a great job- very funny. Then the stomach bug hit! Everyone from the other 2 families dropped like flies. My family stayed intact, and so we enjoyed a quiet lunch out at a nice little restaurant and took the kids gem mining. Later we played mini-golf under black lights and had a good time. The kids went back to WV with their grandparents, which turned out well because the stomach thing hit me on Friday during the ride home. By the time we got here, I was very sick. I was out of commission all day Saturday, and not much better on Sunday. I feel great now though. I hope hubby doesn't get it because he is in Michigan at a conference. It would be bad to get it there. On top of all of that, when we got back we discovered they had come to begin the french drain around the house and had cut the phone line. So we had no phone service and no internet. I went yesterday to check on the email at Panera and discovered I am the recipient of a grant. BUT the paperwork has to be notarized and in today! So I had to do some quick work and borrowed a friend's computer and DSL and printer and time and ... But we got it all in and I hope to hear soon about all of the details. I will keep you posted. So here I am with nearly a week to myself and finally the stress of everything is quieting. I plan to work on the boys' yearbook/scrapbook this week. Look out pocketbook- I haven't printed pictures in quite a while.

Last night lead to an interesting discussion about people who are targeted for church. We were reading a hymn by Charles Wesley and he wrote of harlots, thieves, murderers, and a hellish crew. We certainly don't sing of such things anymore, but we don't think that those people are expected to be interested in church or Christ. In looking at our congregation, it would seem that we aren't quite as hung up on only inviting the "clean" people. But, it makes for a lot of burden carrying, which is what family is supposed to do I guess. I also heard about some things that are being said at public school and I am glad my children are not being exposed to those things. I may be accused of sheltering my children, but what I shelter them from is not going to turn them into strange people. They are learning how to help society, not be a liability to society. Except of course for #2. Yesterday the boys went to feed and #1 came back in to say that #2 had his head caught in the fence. Dad went out to check and sure enough, he had put the goats in the pen and then stuck his head through the bars of the pen and got caught. Elvis was trying to eat his hair. Thank goodness he didn't butt #2 in the head. He is already disturbed enough without a goat head butt.

We are about 3 weeks into summer vacation and I can tell we need a change in routine. The kids are getting on each other's nerves. (Which in turn gets on my nerves.) Vacation next week can't come soon enough! I plan to fill out summer camp and day camp forms today. The boys have been using some of their free time to build bike ramps and jump off of them. I told Hubby it is better not to look out the window sometimes. I put them in God's hands. Although yesterday I did go off on them about being brainless. Perhaps they get that from their mother. I told my husband a week ago that his family drinks a lot and I do weed. Of course I was talking about being at a restaurant with his whole family and that the waiter just brings a pitcher of water for them. Then I was discussing my day and that I did weed the garden. Funny how context matters.

The boys went to pick out Mother's Day cards last night. Today #2 told me about one they had wanted to get. It had a daughter thanking the mother for teaching her how to cook. The mother said get some money, buy some fast food, put it in a dish, turn on the oven, and he will think you cooked it! This is certainly not the way I cook. When we were in WV last week, my mother forgot to buy some cookies that she was giving to someone for their birthday. #2 said, "You know what that means. Make them from scratch." Oh no it doesn't was my mother's reply! "Hard work has its own reward you know, Grandma," replied #2. What a hoot. I much prefer the taste of fresh food. Today we picked strawberries with the 4-H. A friend told me they won't be good for jam though, because we have had rain recently. I hope there are some good ones left after our vacation so I can have some real jam. ____ Boys have no brain. Today they were "playing" judo by actually kicking each other. Of course #4 got hurt. He actually had a footprint on his rib cage! Then they stood out in the rain talking to each other. It was not a gentle mist, but a downpour. I guess since boys have no brain is why they think with their pants when they get a little older. Can't wait for that stage!

I cleaned out the attic this weekend to prepare for the used curriculum sale this coming weekend. There are several nice things, that I feel a bit badly about getting rid of, but I know that we won't use them. They aren't things I will use, but they sure do look good. That little pack rat shows his head now and then. I am planning on reducing prices Saturday as the morning progresses. We are getting excited about our yearly trip to the Smokie Mountains. #2 has packed his (my) tape measure so that he can measure the fish they catch. Both boys are looking forward to buying Harry Potter candy at one of the stores...Bertie Botts All Flavor Jelly Beans, Cockroach Clusters, Ice Mice. Sounds great, huh? I made cookie dough yesterday and froze it. We will go swimming in the evening and then have warm cookies before bed. I spoke to my sis-in-law and her daughter is looking forward to painting herself like an indian in the creek. #2 did that last year at Cade's Cove. This year we will be trying the aquarium and a new show, The Miracle. Shopping is for everyone, book stores for our family, and clothing outlets for the others. But mostly we look forward to being together, watching the cousins play together, resting and relaxing. Can't wait.

Grief comes in different ways to different people. It seems to me that the longer it is prolonged the less intense it will be. A grandparent that lingers for a long time is easier to send on than one that is suddenly lost. And a goat that is watched over ends up being begged of God to take. Our friendliest goat, Buttercup, became ill on Thursday. I called in the Extension Agent to see what could be done. We looked on the internet, contacted people who may know, and decided she had Pregnancy Toxemia. Really there wasn't much that could be done, and what we did seemed to only delay the inevitable. She died yesterday morning. The whole family is stressed and depressed by it. Buttercup was #1's goat officially. He chose to ignore her plight and play with friends that came to visit, or even just to play by himself. I thought it was probably for the best because Buttercup was in a lot of pain and I didn't think the child needed to see that. But last night when it sunk into his brain that she was gone, he had a lot of guilt to deal with. He felt like he should have done something and not just play with his friends. The other issue is what to do with the body. If I were at home I would put it on the tractor and haul it over the hill. That isn't an option here. So I plan to contact the Animal Shelter and see if she can be cremated. #1 is NOT happy with this option, but I think we are going to have to take the lead and do it. If he is scarred for life, it will be my fault I suppose. He says he will dig the grave himself, but I know how long that would last. Being a parent is not always fun. ________________ An hour of hard work and sweat has Buttercup buried in the field. My father assured me that all I needed to cover her with is 12-18 inches of dirt, so I did away with the mother guilt by burying the goat. The other animals have been noticibly human in this ordeal. Darkie is #2's goat and she is the quiet, timid one. She always has to eat last and gets butted quite a bit, seemingly just for being alive. Darkie came to us at the same time Buttercup did, and Buttercup would sometimes look after Darkie. While Buttercup was lying in the pen dying, Darkie kept wanting in to check on her. She would lie down beside her or lie out by the gate to her pen as if she was guarding it. When I would check on Buttercup through the night, Darkie would look at me every time I left as if to say, "Aren't you going to do something?" It was as hard on her as any of us, I think. As I dug the hole today the other nannies mostly ignored me. Elvis had to be in the middle of everything, even falling in once! He seemed to be supervising. Then when I pulled Buttercup into the grave, all of the goats came to watch. I felt like I was at a funeral. After she was mostly covered, the nannies left. Elvis remained to see the job done. He peed on her grave a couple of times and that was that. Now that may not sound romantic to you, but that is how a billy attracts a nanny. I like to think he was kissing her good-bye.

1 John 3:18-22 Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. And by this we will know that we are from the truth and we will reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have boldness before God; and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commandments and do what pleases him. I read an excerpt from Adolfo Quezada that helped me understand this better. If you have a lot of guilt, and you don't allow yourself to accept God's forgiveness, then you don't allow God the freedom to work within you. When our hearts are free of guilt then we can go before God and enjoy the relationship of a father and child. Very simple it would seem, but many of us hold on to the guilt and don't allow our hearts to believe in true forgiveness. One of my friends wondered if this is why we have so many people with mental disorders now. They have allowed counselors to take the place of God and so they don't have true forgiveness. The guilt eats away at them until they have a mental disorder. Sounded like a good point to me. Not that a counselor isn't helpful, but it takes God to forgive deeply.

Summer is here for a few days. Cold front coming soon. WV was just getting into spring and in MD the red bud was just blooming. They must be a good 6 weeks behind us. Summer vacation has begun for us and so of course we are busy working. The yard and garden are starting to come together. The tool shed is nearly cleaned out and we will be making several trips to the garbage dump this week. Now there is just the barn, painting, attic, etc. I think the summer will be gone before I know it! ________ I watched a CNN clip while I was at my parents. It was about pornography. There was a group passing out booklets to people at a conference or some such thing. It was called Jesus Loves Pornography Stars. I was taken aback at first, but then I realized what they meant. Jesus hurts for their souls and wants them to come to him. He loves them. There was a minister from Michigan that is reaching out to those addicted to porn, and a rehab place in Kentucky that helps people who are addicted to it. The next clip I saw was the DC Madam. They said they got hold of her books and there were over 10,000 names! Though they claim it is sex free- just escort services, massage, etc.- I had to think that Jesus loves these men and women too. In a very sexualized country and culture, it is hard to turn to Jesus completely. That must be what it was like for the first century church. There is nothing new under the sun.

I read a book called Real Citizenship this week. The boys and I are going to a government workshop next week and our homework was to read this book. I read it and will discuss it with the boys. Some of it isn't appropriate for their ages, but it did give some good ideas about how to be involved in government. One chapter was about the power of one and what just one person can do. Last night we were discussing dress codes of schools for class and for proms. There is evidently a prom dress code this year. I heard the code and it seems very reasonable. If you are wearing less than what it requires, then you should have a sheet over you anyway. I also was reading an article this week about small businesses starting up modest clothing lines because women are tired of having to dress like Britney Spears. There was also some mention of young girls not having much choice in clothing because of the immodest looks. I have heard friends mention that as well. Then there was the article yesterday about Bratz dolls and the sexy body image that they are trying to promote to very young girls. Not that the dolls are curvy, but that it is all about the clothes that you wear, and many of them are skimpy. So in light of all of the things I have been reading lately, I have a plan. I am going to write to the local mall and ask that the shop window of Victoria's Secret be a little more modest. I don't go to the mall because #1 I hate to shop, and #2 I can't stand to walk past that store. It isn't that I have a problem with what they sell. I have been known to wear some of it. BUT I don't want to walk past it with my young boys and have to explain it. They look at it and know it isn't something they want to see. So I will see what happens with the power of one. Anyone else want to join me?

Hoeing lasted about half an hour. #1 helped me, and we got a good bit done, but I could tell that I needed to stop. I had another adjustment today, and now my neck and head ache a little. The neck adjustments are helping my TMJ, which is not why I went, but a nice bonus. I have gone long enough now that I got a free certificate for my husband to go. He gets his first visit tomorrow. We have entered a new stage with our children. They have had friends over for the night before, and they actually sleep fairly well. Last night we had 3 boys over for a backyard campout, and there was precious little sleeping going on! #1 and his friend came in at 12:30 to use the bathroom, and they were all up by 6:00, some earlier. They had a great time, and I love having all the kids over. They slept in tents and played outside in the dark. It was great weather for it. I remember sleepovers when I was a kid. Lots of fun.

I now have permission to hoe! I just got back from the chiropractor's office and he said I am looking good enough for hoeing, no shoveling yet, though. Everything seems to be moving much better. It is good to feel good again. Aging is starting to enter my mind a little more. I realized that my brother-in-law's family is going to start ruining everyone's life soon. His older daughter will be starting school in the fall! I can't believe she is going to be old enough for that. She is excited that the boys will have to consider her a big girl now that she will be five. Anyway, I think they are going to have to homeschool so that we can keep on having the visits that we have enjoyed in the past. It really makes a big difference when you have to worry about school calendars. The boys and I are going to WV this weekend for a visit. I told my mother last night that school is out for us now. She was shocked that NC could be out of school already. I told her no, our school is out. The boys have put in their 180 days now. She seemed stunned. Starting school in July can do that to you. Better move along and get some hoeing done.

Except for running to the chiropractor early yesterday, we stayed home all day. I have to say it wasn't much fun, but I got a lot done and my life will be better today because of it. I have noticed that my older son can't stand to be home and have no one to go see or nothing to go do. I am afraid he gets that from me. I don't like to stay put. BUT after I am "put" for a while and see how much more I can accomplish, I don't want to go anywhere. This I also see in my son. I hope he doesn't pick up any BAD habits from his dear old mom. Spring lasts a long time in Eastern Carolina. Trees have been getting buds and leaves for a month or more, and some are still bare. Flowering trees start with red bud, then Bradford pear, then peach, dogwood, cherry, and azalea. Spring can last for a couple of months here, along with the pollen, but in Texas it lasted about 2 weeks, tops. I like this much better.

Last night we were discussing social change and flaws in society. Funny that it happened to be this week with the VT massacre. Mostly we decided that we aren't hopeful, but realistic. There isn't much you can do to change the world when sin is in the world. But what you CAN do is change the place you are in in the world. I am trying to change society by the way I treat others, by what I teach my children, by the kind of friend I am. I suppose this life would be very hopeless if not for the hope of a better life to come. Speaking of a better life...I went back to the chiropractor today. I think I like the philosophy there. You heal the spine, which encompasses the nervous system, and then the rest of the body heals because the nervous system is healed. Yesterday my back hurt worse than when I went to the chiropractor, but by evening it was doing better. It was the headache that was killing me in the evening. So I told the doc today and he adjusted my neck. I wasn't expecting it, which is probably good, but I think it is really going to help. It seems to have helped my TMJ that I have been suffering with for years. We'll see how I feel by tonight. Just a couple more days of school and the boys are counting down!

Just finished my first trip to the chiropractor. They took X-rays and I certainly saw the problem. I am leaning to one side in my lower back. He did an adjustment and it popped like I have been longing for it to pop. Of course, now the other side feels strained and I still don't walk with much pep in my step. I had told my husband I would come back walking like a 23 year old. He watched me get out of the van and said that didn't look like any 23 year old he had ever seen. I go back tomorrow morning for another adjustment and hopefully that will put it all back in place. In the meantime, I have to suffer through sitting on a cold pack to lessen the swelling. I turned the heat up first thing! Yesterday was the aquarium's visit for our 4-Hers and homeschool friends. The kids had a good time and I am sure we will do it again. #2 loved everything, but especially dissecting the squid. He came home with the pen from inside the squid. #1 of course can't admit that he had a good time--that's his personality. In a couple of days he will tell me what all he liked and enjoyed. But he did help during one of the shows. The leader had a snake crawl inside her shirt and she needed someone to hold the back end of the snake while she got it out. #1 volunteered to hold the back end. I was surprised by that and later found out that he was trying to ask a question, not volunteer! One more funny thing: We are reading Little House on the Prairie at night now. Ma was so excited to have a wooden floor and a real bed, even a table cloth on the table. "Now we can live like civilized people." #2 asked, "Why do you want to live like civilized people? They live 40 miles from a town. Who cares if you are civilized?" That's a male for you--let's all fart and burp now.

We put the piano in the dining room. It took 3 young men and my husband to move it. Very heavy from what I gathered. There really wasn't much of an option of where to put it. The hall was a viable option, but the lighting is very poor in there. The living room perhaps could have worked, but the dining room seemed best to me. The kids see it all of the time, walk past it, etc. so I think it will help to improve practice time. The piano I had as a child was in the spare room and didn't promote practice. #2 is thrilled because now he can play music at his cafe when he serves his "customers." My husband sees the piano and its placement as my continuing plot to get rid of him. Guess I better start being more subtle. ________ You know, when a woman is in her early twenties and she says to her husband that she is going to take a shower, somehow, he gets to the shower before her. When a woman is in her late-middle thirties and she tells her husband that she is taking a shower, she is asked to wait until the show is over. You know the world has headed south at that point. (Maybe that is why I got the piano!!)

I bought a piano yesterday. I have wanted one for a while now. The first time I wanted one was in Texas. The Salvation Army and the Thrift Store both would get them in and they would be $100. But I never got around to getting one. A friend here works in the Habitat ReSale Shop and I told him if a good piano comes in to let me know. "Too bad," he said. One had just come in that was really nice, still in tune, had a professional look over, etc, but it sold. Well on Wednesday he told me the lady never came to pick it up. So it was my good fortune, and it is being picked up and delivered today. The boys aren't thrilled. They want to play guitar, flute, violin, recorder, anything but the piano. I have told them if they play piano then they can have other lessons too. We will see how committed they are on piano first! _______ Pollen is still in abundance in Eastern Carolina! I tried to work outside a bit yesterday and came inside with blisters on my eyes. This morning it hurt to open them. I still don't have the garden out! It is bothering me, but not enough to make me do it I guess. Of course, the crunching in my back doesn't motivate me either.

I took the boys to hear an Appalachian story teller last night at the university. He was dressed in bib overalls and had a beard and farmer baseball cap. He looked the part. It was especially interesting to hear him, since he is from western NC and some of the language he used was used in the book I just finished, The Man Who Moved a Mountain. He told stories about life growing up, and stories about Jack, tales handed down for hundreds of years in his family. His family has been recognized as a national treasure of storytelling. Watching Orville tell his stories last night reminded me of home. My Uncle Dan likes to tell stories too. You never know if he is is serious or joking, so you listen to the whole story and then laugh. His stories are very often real ones. It was good to think about home for a while.

I love to tell the story for those who know it best seem hungering and thirsting to hear it like the rest. And when in scenes of glory I sing the new, new song 'Twill be the old, old story that I have loved so long. Easter is still with me. I was mildly surprised to have this realization on Easter Sunday: I like to hear the Gospel story the best. I have been a Christian all of my life, born and bred. I have heard the story all of my life. I used to think my Grandmother was a fanatic, a Jesus Freak, because it was all she wanted to talk about. But I am starting to see that that is all there is to life. It is the story that makes me happy, gives me purpose, lifts me up, encourages me. God loved me so much that He sent his Son to live on this earth and show me his love. Then, he gave the ultimate example of love by sacrificing himself on my behalf. Then, He overcame Satan and came back to life. I love to tell the story "twill be my theme in Glory to tell the old, old story of Jesus and His love.

I have a friend who may have attempted suicide this week, at least she has seriously considered it. I once considered this option when I was in high school. I was in a situation that seemed hopeless, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted out of it, but couldn't see the light. I really wasn't even sure of what I wanted. That is where this friend is. She knows what she is dealing with is wrong, but she doesn't know how to change it or even if she should change it. How sad to see no hope. That, combined with an article I read this week about how poor people in America live, made me think how truly blessed my children are. They may have a father with a bad temper, and a mother who is scatter-brained and flies off the handle at times, but they have never been abused, nor do they question our love for them. They are healthy, and if they weren't we would go to the doctor. They eat good food every day; not once have they gone without eating. They have a warm, dry home without snakes or other critters coming through the floor. Their parents don't smoke, drink, gamble, fight, run-around, neglect, or abuse them. My children know nothing but love. Dear Lord, please bless all the children living in your world this night with love, healing, food, comfort, and hope. Even if just for this one night, let them know You care.

Got some spring cleaning done yesterday. I bought a chest of drawers for the boys' room a few weeks ago, but hadn't gotten it into their room yet. So we cleaned and moved furniture around all day. All of the bedding was washed, the baseboards cleaned, things dusted, papers thrown out...a good day in my opinion! I was also able to clean some of the rest of the house since it was my "night off." I know, I know, but I feel more relaxed at times if I know the house is clean. The point of a night off is to be more relaxed, so sometimes work is relaxing! We are heading to Kinston this afternoon for a little field trip. They have a nice nature center and a health/science museum that is great for small children, and it is free!! I have to lighten up a little this week since the other kids are on spring break.

I do not think like my husband. Last night he tried to give me some tips to a Sudoku puzzle that #2 had received for Easter. I tried to follow where he was leading, but it gave me a headache. I think "what fits?"; he thinks, "what doesn't fit?". I look at one box at a time, maybe a row; he looks at three boxes and columns at once. This isn't a new problem. He reads lots of books at one time; I focus on one. This sounds like he is a man who can multi-task and I am a woman who cannot. That is not true. I keep many balls in the air; he collapses from stress when too much is going on. He is a different thinker than I am, that is all. But last night's "teaching session" helped me remember that I need to try different ways to teach the boys. They may not be as normal as their mother! ;>)

Well, here I am back again. A bit of hit and miss lately, sorry. I was feeling much better by Weds. and Thursday didn't even take the medicines. So Friday I had sat still long enough and went outside to work. I trimmed the goats' hooves, spread fertilizer and helped fix the chicken coop. By Friday evening I was miserable again. So back to the meds I went. I guess I have a problem knowing when to slow down. The kids did well on their standardized tests, at least they think. But I looked at the test booklets when they were done and the material looked easy for them. They keep asking me why home-schooled kids are smarter than other kids. I keep assuring them that they aren't, but that they are privileged to get more attention and so can thrive more easily. I think they like thinking they are smarter though. Today is Easter. This is a great holiday for me. There isn't much in the way of preparation, shopping, decorating, etc. Boil some eggs and pass along some chocolates. The boys like to color eggs- and if they are beautiful enough the Easter Bunny hides them!- and they enjoy making the Ressurection cookies that we do each year. They are getting to the point now that they know what is coming next in the recipe/story. I enjoy the flowers and bursts of spring that occur during the holiday. This part of the country has the most beautiful spring scenery. But maybe the best part of Easter is the memory each year of my hubby asking me to marry him. He filled an Easter basket with plastic eggs. Each egg had a note in it about how much he loved me and wanted to spend his life with me. Then he had me open an egg that had a wonderful letter in it. Then came the final egg that had the ring. He got down on one knee and begged me to marry him- well that is how I remember it anyway. He is a good husband and I have never regretted my answer. Happy Anniversary Honey!

You're probably wondering what happened to the daily blogger. Well, I hurt my back and couldn't stand to be in the chair for long. Monday a week ago, I was lifting a load of wet laundry and felt something pop. By that afternoon I knew I was hurt. I figured it would heal after a couple of days, but instead it continued to worsen. Finally Sunday night I was having waves of nausea from the pain, so I thought it was time to go to the doctor. He gave me 3 different meds and I am finally starting to improve. I know I am improving because I finally tried to clean some house today. Boy, one week off and this place is a disaster!! The boys are testing this week with our homeschool group. The state requires standardized tests each year. My kids actually look forward to it because we test as a group. The moms bring snacks and there is play time involved as well. It means no book work too, always a plus. They feel confident about the tests, and so far say they have been taught everything on the test, so hopefully they are doing well. At least there aren't any races between the boys and girls this year! Last year, #1's group was racing to see who would finish first, boys or girls.