Stumbling through a Darkened Hallway

A low, electric hum awakened me at 1:33 a.m. I listened for about 20 minutes, and then I climbed out of my cozy bed to find the source of my annoyance. I was afraid that it might be the septic system alarm. The Great Rain of last week could have filled the ground to capacity and a problem might be occuring. Of course, the first thing one must do upon climbing from a warm bed is to "visit the facilities", and the septic alarm can be seen and heard well from our bathroom window. Thankfully, no red light was glowing or alarm sounding. Walking into the hallway, I noticed that the computer had been left on upstairs. I flicked on the stairwell light and went up to turn off the boys' computer. In the light I noticed the ceiling fan was on high and thought for sure that that must have been the humming noise I heard. After pulling the fan cord I happily headed downstairs fully intending to slide back into my warm spot under the covers. No such luck. At the bottom of the stairs I could hear the humming again. I went into the kitchen and discovered the noise emanating from my refrigerator. Great. The refrigerator has been giving us fits for a few months now. We stopped using the water in the fridge because it was leaking. I even put up packer's tape so that one can't forget that it leaks and use the dispenser by accident. A while after that the fan froze in the back of the freezer. The water was not just leaking from the dispenser but also from the icemaker. I defrosted the fan twice before I decided it would be easier to use ice cube trays. So now I am awake at 2 in the morning trying to not think that we may need to purchase a new refrigerator. Certainly it merits a call to the repairman if nothing else. After about a half hour the humming stops, and I attempt to sleep. Of course by now I am fully awake and thinking through the many problems of life and love. Then at 2:33 the humming begins again. And yes at 3:33. That was when I decided I could better solve the world's problems if I were sitting up, and now I am on my couch. I checked the freezer and the fan is not frozen, so the humming was evidently an alarm clock from God. Here is the next excerpt from The Pursuit of God... Why do some persons "find" God in a way that others do not? Why does God manifest His presence to some and let multitudes of others struggle along in the half-light of imperfect Christian experience? Of course, the will of God is the same for all. He has no favorites within His household. All He has ever done for any of His children, He will do for all of His children. The difference lies not with God but with us. Pick at random a score of great saints whose lives and testimonies are widely known. Let them be Bible characters or well-known Christians of post-Biblical times. You will be struck instantly with the fact that the saints were not alike. ...Their differences must have been incidental and in the eyes of God of no significance. In some vital quality they must have been alike. What was it? I venture to suggest that the one vital quality which they had in common was spiritual receptivity. Something in them was open to Heaven, something which urged them Godward. Without attempting anything like a profound analysis, I shall say simply that they had spiritual awareness, and that they went on to cultivate it until it became the biggest thing in their lives. They differed from the average person in that when they felt the inward longing they did something about it. They acquired the lifelong habit of spiritual response. They were not disobedient to the heavenly vision. As David put it neatly, " When Thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto Thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek." Psalm 27:8 I know when I don't feel close to God, it isn't because He isn't close to me. It is because I have not responded to His invitation to seek Him. Perhaps in another 40 years I will have overcome that fault, but for now I seek in spurts and ask the Lord to forgive my times of self-seeking. Today I answer the hum of the refrigerator and seek my Lord in the early hours of darkness.