I have been mulling over a section of Mark 6 the last few days. Jesus was busy healing and feeding the multitudes. He needed a break and told his disciples to go on over the lake while he went to be alone. Partway through the night, Jesus walked across the lake, but the men saw him, and they were afraid. Jesus asked them basically what had they expected. Hadn't they seen all of those miracles? Why were they surprised by his walking on water? Then Mark tells us that the disciples hearts were hardened.
Hardened? How could that be?! These men had given their lives to be with Jesus, to follow and serve him, and their hearts were hardened?! So what must my heart be?
I have grappled with this a few days now, even looking back at a journal entry from December 18th where I asked something similar. I think I am concluding that it isn't that the disciples were unwilling to understand, but that the thing they were trying to understand was outside the realm of their thinking.
Then I wonder about myself. How is my heart hardened? Where is God trying to work and because it is outside of my thought process or thought path, I am thwarting God's intentions? I have some ideas and I am trying to change the way I think about them, but it is hard to start thinking in new ways. Perhaps that will be my goal for this New Year.
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