Black Strappy Shakespeare $1

These are my new summer sandals. I got them back in June while I was visiting WV. I made a trip to my favorite Gabes, and there they were. Black, strappy, wedge sandals with just enough whistle to grab my man's attention, but not enough pop-your-eyes-out flair to be "off-preacher's-wife-limits." On top of that, these sexy beautes were $1! Yes, only ONE smackaroo!!

 I grabbed them up right away, along with a cute $8 dress that would show off my gams. Some of you will now look up the word gams and discover it also refers to a herd of whales. My sons are not allowed to make comments here. I also would advise everyone else to hold their tongues.

 Anyway, back to the end of my gams- my feet. Just before I left for that trip to WV, where I found these amazing shoes for ONE DOLLAR!, I fell off the end of the porch into a hole that the lovely, innocent dog had recently dug. I thought for sure I had broken my ankle. The x-ray does not show a break, but since the accident my feet have looked like this. Ugh and Gee Whiz! How can a girl wear black, strappy sandals with that wrapped around her foot?

 Well, a girl can try, but it just doesn't have the same effect. Instead of whistles, I get guffaws. Instead of sweeping me off my feet for passionate kisses, my husband laughs until he falls off his own feet. It's down right distressing to have these stretchy, sexy sandals sitting in the closet unused.

I tried wearing them one day a couple of weeks ago. I took off the brace, slipped on the cute dress, donned some leggings, and slid my sweet feet into my desire. I made it through church, came home and kicked them off, and have been unable to wear them since.

Every woman, yes every single woman, wants to be attractive. She wants someone, sometime, to notice her, make a fuss, tell her how great she looks. William Shakespeare didn't seem to get that message. Read his Sonnet 130 below and tell me that is a man who understands women.

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:

If I were Mrs. Shakespeare, Mr. Shakespeare would be sleeping on the couch! I would slip off my black strappies and knock him upside the head with them! But then he ends the sonnet with this:

   And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.


So Willy saves the day, or the marriage. He doesn't care if she isn't a goddess who turns every man's head. He knows her inside and out, and he loves her anyway.

So my shoes will sit in the closet a while longer, and I will sit on the couch next to the man who loves me, even in socks and a brace. Well, we live in the South; I may get to wear the black strappies yet. You didn't think I was going to be completely content, did you?

Only $1. I still can't believe it!