The Time Has Come

Well, this is it. Another page has turned and this first sequel is ending. I have been blogging nearly ten years. I began because I thought God wanted me to write. What he wanted me to write was still unknown, but write I did.
I have written about children, homeschooling, marriage, and the mundane. I have written about vacations, vanity, and broken vans. I have written some political pieces and some devotional duds. But whatever was going on, I kept on writing.
Finally, I wrote enough to put it all together and hear what God was saying in between my lines: Tell others about me.
So now I am launching into the great unknown, but knowing that the Greatest Known Being goes with me. I am nervous. I am anxious. I am a little off-kilter. But I am also eager and anticipating the exciting times God has planned for me ahead.
You will no longer find me here typing my tiny words into the Master's books. I have a new website, www.TraciStead.com where you can get updates on my newest book and read my latest devotional blogs. You can also keep in contact via Facebook/TraciLStead.
Thank you so much for joining me on the first part of my journey. See you again, soon!

Words of Wisdom or Tormenting Talk?

Jonathan is completing some college course work while he takes his last two high school classes. He is enrolled at the local community college, where, occasionally, he meets up with a professor with identity problems. Wishing she were at a larger school and dealing with true scientists, this particular teacher did not start the school semester off well. In fact, I was ready to remove her from her position, but have managed to hold back.

On the first day of classes, she asked the students to introduce themselves and to state their degree intentions. My sixteen-year-old son admitted that he would like to get a degree in Communications. She responded by telling him to get out of the class. This has been verified by another student.

After Jonathan continued that he is a "Dual-Enrollment Student," she brushed him off with, "Oh, Dual-Enrollment kids are good." But the damage had already been done. He spent the next week unable to sleep, restlessly thinking of nothing but failure. His stomach was tied in knots, and food was not his friend. Without knowing what she had done, this professor had instilled a fear of her and her class and a lack of fondness for her field.

A woman I know from another culture and religious denomination knows fear in the book of Revelation. Her minister taught from the book when she was young, and the fear that invaded her childish mind hasn't let go yet. She refuses to read her Bible because of the scare tactics that were used against her so many years ago. The man who spoke so harshly of God certainly (hopefully?) did not know what he was doing.

Fear makes us useless. We become unable to function, to do what needs to be done. But even more than that, fear drives out the joy and passion that are meant to be a part of our lives. Instead of learning about the beauty of creation and its intricacies, a student is left feeling inept and a failure before the lessons even begin. Instead of reading about a relationship of love and acceptance, a child of God is relegated to a lifetime fear of retribution.

I remember a childhood church song: "Oh be careful little mouth what you say, for the Father up above is looking down in love, so be careful little mouth what you say." Often this verse is meant to teach youngsters to keep their tongues pure and holy, clean of sinful talk and filth. But just as importantly, it needs to remnd us that we have great power in our mouths, power to destroy, power to permanently damage. Oh do be careful little mouth what you say!

Dirty Jobs

No one likes the dirty jobs. Cleaning my circa 1951 oven is an unpleasant task. Scrubbing bathrooms infested with boys also tops the list. When I was a kid, I hated cleaning the trap in the sink after washing dishes.

My friend's young son, Paul, has figured out how to get through life without doing any of the dirty jobs: he is going to marry a woman who works full-time and lets him stay home, but only AFTER the kids are all potty-trained. None of that messiness for him, by golly!

We all understand the disdain of the disgusting; the odor, the filth, the nastiness make us turn our eyes the other way and hope someone else will step up to the plate.

I love fungi. I think they are beautiful. Their colors are bright spots in dull brown expanses. Walking along a leaf-littered path, small, red spots of color grab my attention. Bright, happy buttons of mushrooms melt into the landscape doing their work without fanfare or recognition.

Without fungi to decay organic materials the leaves, grasses, and dead animals would pile up and overcrowd our world in no time. Yes, that spore-filled cloud of mushrooms is doing all of the dirty work. You walk by not noticing the important work going on right under your nose, because the fungus at your feet has already removed the odor.

So many people in our lives are faithful fungi. They pick up the dirty laundry that falls around us, take out the trash that is heaping in ever-growing mounds, and mop up the mess of someone else's problems. They are largely unnoticed, but their bright beautiful colors bless me when I take the time to discover the difference they are making in the world.

A Gift of Light

The college students are back in town. The traffic is slower, yet more dangerous. You never know when a new-to-town driver will bolt across a couple lanes to get where she needs to be. Horns honk, and impatience rears its ugly head.

I'm walking on the greenway, enjoying a quiet evening. Runners race past me, and cyclists whiz by on their way to somewhere important or on their way to nowhere important, only enjoying the strength of a young body.

I cross over the wooden bridge and continue following the peaceful path. My shoes clop, clop, clop creating a rhythm that mimics the one inside me. A slow heart, a quiet, calming thud-up, thud-up, drives the frantic feelings and thoughts from my mind.

Passing the yellow "Caution: Blind Curve Ahead" sign, I see that the bench overlooking the river is free. Sitting down for a few moments, I swat absent-mindedly at the buzzing insects. The mosquitoes, multiplying quickly during this very wet summer, are looking for a tasty meal. I hear the traffic crossing the highway bridge over the Tar River. The locusts and cicadas shriek their high-pitched summer songs, and more people race and ride past my quiet spot.

I watch as the river slowly flows past me. Small sticks float on top the water while tiny ripples of movement can be seen in the dusky evening light. This river has come a long way from the trickling mountain streams of Virginia. Soon it will slide into the waters of the Pamlico River and then sift into the Pamlico Sound. Finally, the Atlantic will embrace the fresh water, sending it northwards to recreate the cycle again.

Sometimes it is hard to close out the sounds of runners, cyclists, road traffic, and pesky summer insects. Listening to the inner rhythm is often impossible as outside noises speed up and magnify their own self-importance. But the longer I sit here, basking in the solitude of one among many, the quieter the evening becomes. The longer I watch the slow-moving river, the more my heart and mind meld into one slow river of peacefulness.

Finally, I begin to feel God's presence. I begin to hear his faithful voice whispering to me. Silence is the loudest when God walks by. He sits on the bench and gazes at the river's gentle strength. He reminds me that he has been there the entire time, waiting for me to join him, to listen to the still, small voice within that beckons to a steady rhythm.

Time passes; the night begins creeping along the tree-covered walk, and I reluctantly rise from the bench. Walking back the way I came, I pass only a solitary gentleman. He nods his greying head at me as if to say, "You chose the better way."  I glance to the right of the path as one last gleam of sunshine finds its way to a clearing in the trees. A green clump of swamp grass glows in this last of the day's light. That is the gift, the voice whispering, "Time with me will let you see in the darkness. Night will not fall while I am walking beside you."

"You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light." 2 Samuel 22:29

Dog TV

“A television can provide all important mental stimulation for dogs and help prevent boredom behaviour”,
PIAS (“The Petcare And Information Advisory Service”)

When my children were little, they would ask me if they could watch a video or a half-hour PBS children's show. They knew that I would fall asleep while they were watching, and then they could watch for even longer.

But I tried hard to not let them watch too much television. The Pediatric Association recommended no more than two hours a day at that time, and I think they recommend even less now. Your child can keep himself busy: playing, eating, talking, talking, talking, and other things that little guys do. But dogs are different.
When dogs are left alone they make messes, chew up pillows, eat ten-dollar bills, poop on the floor, leave dog hair on the couch and bed where they don't belong, and other things that puppies plan. So the authorities that be decided dogs should watch television. This is real!

DOGTV is the ideal babysitter for “home alone” dogs. Research shows that dogs feel better in the company of television, especially when the right content is on.
DOGTV provides television for dogs with three types of programming offering relaxing and stimulating content as well as positive behavioral reinforcements. Dogs that are left alone tend to become anxious so the calming sounds and music in the relaxing segments on DOGTV were created to keep them peaceful. Many dogs also suffer from a lack of stimulation, which becomes acute when their parents are away. The stimulating segments provide dogs with invigorating images, animation and exciting real world sounds to keep them up and running.

DOGTV’s television programming meets a dog’s typical daily routine and helps prevent mental fatigue, depression and boredom.

The thing is, we have a classroom in the house and can't have the television on during the day. Instead our dog sits outside watching birds, goats and cats. He digs holes under the tree and at the end of the porch. He barks at cyclists that go by. He watches unyieldingly for the neighbor's dog, Morgan, his evil nemesis.

In the evening, when we watch television, the dog comes into the living room and falls asleep. So somehow, the television that is bad for kids actually keeps them awake and alert, while it puts adults and dogs to sleep.

I think children are actually the ones in charge of television productions.

Can I Have It Back?

"Pick three items out of my box. Any three."

My young students peeked into the magical box of goodies, pawing and pondering which items would be best. A magic wand, a ribboned baton, a silly straw, all were coveted items. But two girls, sisters of course, argued over who should get the duct tape covered, plastic binoculars. Finally the six-year-old won.

I went on with the Bible lesson and then said, "Ok. Now I need an item back. You can pick whatever you want to turn back in, but I need to have some of these things back."

The six year old tossed in her silly straw and contentedly continued looking through the binoculars. Going on with the lesson, I read some scripture, told a story, and then dropped the next bomb.

"You know what? I'm going to see some other kids later today, and they are going to want some toys to play with. Would you put in one more thing?" I asked.

Sadly the six-year-old handed over her ribboned baton, and I kept on talking about helping others and what all of us can do to teach others about Jesus. But I noticed that the little sister slid the binoculars under her long blond hair.

You know where I am going with this just as well as the six-year-old did.
"Class, I need that last item back as well. Yes, I gave it to you earlier. Yes it was yours, but now I am asking you to give it back. Will you let me have it back?"

"Can I still look through the binoculars when we are done?" she asked as she hesitantly picked up her hair from the nape of her neck.

"Yes, you can still look through them when we are done. But right now I would like it if you would let me have them back," I explained.

Slowly, reluctantly, she pulled the binoculars over her head and handed them over.

It was painful. It was sad. It was so very personal.

God has asked me to give back all of myself to him. He asks for my money, my time, my gifts, my life. And some I gladly toss back into his box, happy to help. But others. . . Others I hold on to more tightly.

"Can I have it back when you're done?" I ask, tears brimming in my sorrowful eyes.

And God, softly laughing to himself, answers yes. He knows some day I will grow up and see how worthless my little toys are, but for now they are treasures, and I am his six-year-old still learning.

Moms Aren't Real People

There is an empty building I pass several times a week. It used to be a gas station, but after Sheetz moved in the competition was too fierce, and they closed. I like the building, and the location not far from home has had me contemplating opening a coffee house. The area is filled with college kids who love a cup of joe and a friendly atmosphere. Our growing city has little in the way of places to meet and chat with friends over a cup of something good, so I think the market is there for it.

I've talked it over a few times with Matt, but I haven't done anything about it yet. The life of a preacher always makes me a bit nervous about putting down too many expensive roots that might have to be pulled up and shipped over to the bankruptcy department if I had to suddenly move.

As I passed the building again on Sunday I mentioned to the boys that I had talked to their dad about putting in a coffee shop there. They asked if I am really going to do it, and I explained my hesitancy. Then, Jonathan piped up from the backseat, "I didn't know you had plans."

"You didn't know I had plans? What do you mean?"

"I just didn't know you had plans. You know, the book. . . a coffeehouse. Plans," he stumbled.

Amos laughed at him from the front seat and asked what he thought I was going to do. Jonathan just murmurred that he didn't know I planned on anything and then looked away.

He doesn't see me as a person yet. I am still just his mom, his caretaker, cook, laundress, teacher, chore giver, scolder. I remember that stage of life, when parents were just parents and didn't have lives. When you couldn't imagine them as people with ambitions, goals, or heaven forbid- feelings.

Right now Jonathan's world is small, and for the most part he is the center of it. I don't mean that he is self-absorbed or conceited. Actually, he is compassionate, caring, helpful, but he doesn't see far beyond the horizon. Soon he will discover, though, that no matter how old people are, they still dream. They still have plans.

Surface or Destination?

 We didn't know what we were getting into. We knew we wanted to hike. We knew we wanted to go up Mount Greylock, elevation 3,491 feet.
Our plan was to drive nearly to the top and then to hike around and have a little picnic. The problem was that the park hadn't opened all of the trails yet.

 
 So we decided on a three mile trail that would lead us up to the mountaintop. The trail was on the map, offered as a suggestion by the park ranger. No one and nowhere did it say the hike was in a river bed. Sometimes, the trail would follow a footpath through the woods, but most of the hiking was along or in, a mostly, but not quite, dry riverbed.

 It was rocky. It was muddy. It was slippery. It was dangerous. And it was UPHILL. All the way. The entire 3,491 feet!

 But we knew where we wanted to go. We used the map. We took suggestions from other hikers. And we lifted our eyes from the trial of the trail.

 Great beauty surrounded us. A peaceful alpine lake curved through a marshy mountain of moss.

Hope led us to our destination. Cool breezes blew across our sweat streaked faces as we gazed on the vast beauty laid out before us.

I know where I want to go. I have a plan of what the path should be like. I have a map and the encouragement of other hikers. Sometimes the road is paved and easy, and sometimes it is rocky, slimy , and dangerous. The road only leads up, all the way. But the hope of a view beyond compare will keep this hiker going.

Toddler Tears

A two-year-old boy made me cry. Toddlers just aren't what they used to be. Toddlers used to be dirty diapers, sleepless nights, crying ear infections, and patience vacuums. But they also used to be hugs and kisses. Mommy I love yous. Pudgy little cheeks, impish little grins, and the reason for living. This little boy was that kind of toddler, sitting behind me in church speaking his loud whispers and playing with his Noah's Ark toy, making me cry.

 I didn't put my boys in car seats before church that day. I didn't even drive with them in the car that day. I left before them. They got themselves ready and drove to church. Without me.

 I only have a year left to hold this family tight in my arms. To scold again about the milk lid, to urge again about studying hard, to encourage again to put God first. I only have a year to make sure he remembers to unroll his socks in the laundry, puts gas in the car when it's empty, brushes his teeth before bed. But I also still have a year to grab hugs as he passes by, listen to his witty remarks, and absorb all that is him.

 He will go away to college, and like a dog left on a rope at the picnic, I will wait for morsels: his calls, his texts, his I need money, where's that paper, what am I supposed to do. I will lick them up, relish every crumb, because it will be all I get.

His place will be waiting for him when he visits. And I will be across the table waiting as well.

Where Have All the Christians Gone?

 When I was a kid growing up in WV, I saw lots of rocks. They were everywhere. I stubbed my toes and bruised my feet on them running barefoot in the summer. I climbed on them and played King of the Mountain. I dug them out of the garden, every single year. I stacked rocks, followed rock fences, skipped rocks, and gashed my knee on a rock one summer at camp.

 But now, living in a different time and place, I rarely see rocks. They don't seem to be as plentiful as they once were. In fact, I have to intentionally look for them.

 But once my eyes adjust to the new lighting, the new terrain, suddenly I start noticing rocks where I never noticed them before. Some rocks are out in the open for anyone to plainly see, while others are hanging out on the side of the path instead of under foot.

 Sadly, some of the rocks are tangled in roots unable to be released, while some just barely show through the leaves and debris of the surrounding forest.

The rocks are still there, holding the earth together as best they can. They are strong, they are tough, but they are disappearing. Finding a rock still sticking out of the soil, I rejoice.

Morning Has Broken

 Morning has broken, like the first morning.
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird.
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning,
Praise for them springing fresh from the Word.

 Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlight from heaven.
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass.
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden,
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass.

 Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning.
Born of the one light Eden saw play.
Praise with elation, praise every morning;
God's recreation of the new day.

 Morning has broken, like the first morning.
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird.
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning,
Praise for them springing fresh from the Word

Words by Cat Stevens

Holy Knowledge

I have a message from God in my heart
concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:

There is no fear of God
before their eyes.
In their own eyes they flatter themselves
too much to detect or hate their sin.
The words of their mouths are wicked and deceitful; they fail to act wisely or do good.
Even on their beds they plot evil;
They commit themselves to a sinful course
and do not reject what is wrong.

A friend told me last month that he didn't know he was sinning before he knew Christ. He knew he wasn't to kill or steal, but the other things, the human things, how could those be sin? He didn't know God, so he didn't know what God wanted, what God was like, what holiness is.

Jim may not have known what sin was but he also didn't know what love was. He didn't know forgiveness, deep, satisfying joy, goodness that asks nothing in return.

Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
you, Lord, preserve both people and animals.
How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.

Once we know God, then we really know what it is to live. Then we experience true goodness, see beauty clearly. We understand holiness, and we reverently bow in its presence, determined to be holy as well.

Psalm 36

Memories

I gathered the eggs the other day and instinctively put them in my hat. My father walked into the kitchen and laid his hat full of eggs on the counter.
I sang Barbara Allan recently, and Great-Grandma Phillips dipped some snuff in her lip and sang along.
I slipped my feet into new slipper shoes, and Ted, my childhood neighbor, grinned from his armchair where Mrs. Johnson laid his grey slippers.
My arms clasped behind me, Papaw walks down the lane to his house for dinner.
Memories of a life blessed. Simple everyday acts sewn together into a patchwork connecting past and present with threads that cannot be broken.

What memories make you who you are?

Perfect Hospitality

When Matt was a grad student at Westminster, I participated in a program for the wives called Women Of Westminster (WOW). We gathered as future ministers' wives to attend lectures by our spouses' professors, discuss topics of interest to the group, and suggest books to read. One book suggestion I took was Open Heart, Open Home by Karen Mains.

I read it with great interest, and put much of it into practice. Karen tells her story of being a hospitable Christian, and gives ideas of what you too can do to welcome people into your home and life.

One anecdote I remember is Karen making a plate of cookies for the neighborhood kids seem special. She placed a white doilie on the plate before inviting the kids over. It seems like an innocent, easy thing to do. I even did it several times when we lived in Texas with a neighborhood of rambunctious children.

But then, a couple of years ago, I was told that people don't relate to me and Matt because we are "perfect." Evidently we make people feel uncomfortable because we have a super marriage and great kids, home school said children, raise chickens, and make bread. It seems people like the ideal in theory, but they don't want to see it practiced.

I was stunned.

Fast forward several years after reading Open Heart, Open Home. I had a church ladies' breakfast at the house last weekend. They were invited at 9 a.m. for muffins, juice and coffee. I also managed to make some egg casseroles. I met my first three guests with a towel wrapped around my head. I had just gotten out of the shower.

The kitchen was still a mess, dishes were not out and ready, dust and dog hair were certainly present. The dirty tablecloth that I gathered up before the guests arrived still sat on top of the buffet. Karen Mains would be appalled. But perhaps she wouldn't be.

People were welcomed. My time and attention were completely given to these women. We left knowing each other better, and relationships were stronger. Perhaps "Perfect Hospitality" is the kind that lets your imperfections show as well.

Black Strappy Shakespeare $1

These are my new summer sandals. I got them back in June while I was visiting WV. I made a trip to my favorite Gabes, and there they were. Black, strappy, wedge sandals with just enough whistle to grab my man's attention, but not enough pop-your-eyes-out flair to be "off-preacher's-wife-limits." On top of that, these sexy beautes were $1! Yes, only ONE smackaroo!!

 I grabbed them up right away, along with a cute $8 dress that would show off my gams. Some of you will now look up the word gams and discover it also refers to a herd of whales. My sons are not allowed to make comments here. I also would advise everyone else to hold their tongues.

 Anyway, back to the end of my gams- my feet. Just before I left for that trip to WV, where I found these amazing shoes for ONE DOLLAR!, I fell off the end of the porch into a hole that the lovely, innocent dog had recently dug. I thought for sure I had broken my ankle. The x-ray does not show a break, but since the accident my feet have looked like this. Ugh and Gee Whiz! How can a girl wear black, strappy sandals with that wrapped around her foot?

 Well, a girl can try, but it just doesn't have the same effect. Instead of whistles, I get guffaws. Instead of sweeping me off my feet for passionate kisses, my husband laughs until he falls off his own feet. It's down right distressing to have these stretchy, sexy sandals sitting in the closet unused.

I tried wearing them one day a couple of weeks ago. I took off the brace, slipped on the cute dress, donned some leggings, and slid my sweet feet into my desire. I made it through church, came home and kicked them off, and have been unable to wear them since.

Every woman, yes every single woman, wants to be attractive. She wants someone, sometime, to notice her, make a fuss, tell her how great she looks. William Shakespeare didn't seem to get that message. Read his Sonnet 130 below and tell me that is a man who understands women.

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:

If I were Mrs. Shakespeare, Mr. Shakespeare would be sleeping on the couch! I would slip off my black strappies and knock him upside the head with them! But then he ends the sonnet with this:

   And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.


So Willy saves the day, or the marriage. He doesn't care if she isn't a goddess who turns every man's head. He knows her inside and out, and he loves her anyway.

So my shoes will sit in the closet a while longer, and I will sit on the couch next to the man who loves me, even in socks and a brace. Well, we live in the South; I may get to wear the black strappies yet. You didn't think I was going to be completely content, did you?

Only $1. I still can't believe it!

A Convenient God

A few weeks ago I had lunch with some church friends. We were discussing the absence of some people from worship and wondering what would help them make it to church on Sunday mornings.

"Do you think it would help if services were later? Not everyone is a morning person you know," one remarked.

I couldn't help myself. "If you really know who God is, you will do what it takes to be there to worship him, no matter if you are a morning person," I said.

I wasn't rude or belligerent. I wasn't trying to be "holier than thou." I was speaking truth about my Lord.

When you really know who he is, you want to be with him. You want to worship, to sing, to praise, to rejoice. You long for an opportunity to enter his presence.

I wasn't talking about people who don't know God. They aren't there yet. For them, God must be a convenience can with a pop-top lid that flips open whenever you are ready.

But for those of us who know, who have experienced, who have entered the Holy Place and been hushed by reverberating, awe-filled silence: it was of those I spoke. To get to that God I would hammer nail holes into the can and drain the holiness out the side.

But I recognize that my God has already been hammered and drained. And I can't help but worship.

A Parent's Tough Love

This peaceful tree-lined road no longer exists. I have felt like The Lorax is being played out in my life for the last few weeks. The trees have been uprooted, cut into lengths, and loaded onto trucks. The debris left behind has been bulldozed into piles.

 I spoke to one of the farmers who owns the land. He is sad to destroy the wooded area. He too enjoyed the shady coolness of the tree covered road. He has family stories of the bear that frightened his grandchildren. He hates to see the desolation of the once beautiful wood.

But that farmer also knows that the trees were sick. Some of them have been dead too long to even be sold as lumber. The forest was dying, even though it was still beautiful and useful. The terrible pruning had to be done.

New trees will be planted when the cutting is finished. A new forest will grow in the old one's place. And one day I will again enjoy the quiet beauty of a shady walk.

Ancient Contemporary Language

Holy words long preserved
For our walk in this world
They resound with God's own heart
Oh, let the ancient words impart

I was watching a documentary last week about the story, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. Considered one of the first pieces of Arthurian legend, many have attempted to translate it into modern English. Some choose to translate it as close to the original alliteration that was employed around 1370. Others choose to translate the meaning of the original words and not so much the method of the words. But no matter how it is translated, some have also chosen to follow the way of life that is in the story. A Pagan minister gave a short tour of some holy rocks and discussed the ways that Gawain and the knight may have worshipped or attempted to live.

Words of Life, words of Hope
Give us strength, help us cope
In this world, where e'er we roam
Ancient words will guide us home

During the Middle Ages, many pre-Christian works of literature gathered dust on monastery shelves. In the late 1400s, Francesco Petarch, an Italian poet, rediscovered many of the works. Petrarch was angry that the words had been forgotten. Frenchman Michel de Montaigne felt that he found truth in 1571 by going back to the ancient Greek philosopher, Socrates.

Ancient words ever true
Changing me and changing you
We have come with open hearts
Oh, let the ancient words impart

Today we often quote Franklin, Lincoln, and Jefferson. We recognize the wisdom of the words that these great men spoke. Some return to the stories of Sophocles or Shakespeare. And some return to the words of the Ancient One, the origin of wisdom and of words. He was the first to speak, and he has never stopped speaking to those who will listen.

Ancient Words was written by Michael W. Smith

Why Gaze in Envy?

"You women are nuts!" my brother-in-law informed me the other night on the phone. He and his family have moved within the last year, and his wife is having trouble finding a place to fit in. To explain the problem I have to first tell you that his wife, Polly, is young, cute, attractive, and thin. She is intelligent, a part-time nurse, and a full-time mom and wife. She knows her Bible, believes what it says, and follows what she reads, knows, and believes. As they say on Foyle's War, she is morally hygienic.

So why doesn't she fit in, even at church? Because when other women look at her, they think they don't measure up, and so they ignore or exclude her. Knowing women as I do, I imagine that they feel inferior to Polly and don't want the humiliation of trying to be her friend and then being snubbed by the "beautiful, popular girl." What they don't realize is that she only wants the same thing they do, friendship.

Polly is in her 30s, not a young girl, not a teenager, not even a 20-something. The women who have ignored her are her age or older. So when will women start acting like women instead of girls? Probably never.

I have a friend in her mid-40s who refuses to wear polish on her toes because she will "look like a circus elephant." She often feels unattractive because her weight is not the "American standard." When I look at her I only see kindness and compassion shining out of her beautiful, light-colored eyes. When she laughs the whole room chimes with happy bells. It is a gift to know her.

Another friend, in her 30s, says she has an inner fat girl who tells her awful things about herself. This friend is training for a triathlon, but she isn't strong enough to tell the fat girl to shove off.

Yet another friend berates herself because she doesn't know how to clean house, cook well, or be a homemaker the way "everyone else does." She is intelligent, mothers two great boys, and wants to serve God.

Other friends suffer from depression, but they won't tell you because then they would look like failures. Marriages suffer, but no one is the wiser because people will talk about them. Two of my favorite teenaged students suffer from anorexia because they have to excell, have to achieve, have to have something that makes them special. My heart aches to know that this is only the beginnng of a lifelong struggle they will face because they were born female.

"Mount Bashan, majestic mountain,
Mount Bashan, rugged mountain,
Why gaze in envy, you rugged mountain,
at the mountain where God chooses to reign,
where the Lord himself will dwell forever?" Psalm 68

Mount Bashan is greater, more majestic, than Zion, yet it was on Zion that God chose to dwell. There are two lessons in these verses:

1. Looks aren't everything. What people see as fabulous, the Lord may choose to pass over. The Lord, the creator of the entire universe, has chosen me, and you, to be his dwelling place. He doesn't need us to be the thinnest, prettiest, smartest, best mother and homemaker, or most mentally healthy. In fact he doesn't need us at all. What he desires is that we need him.

2. God blesses each as he desires. Why are we envious of each other's blessings? Do oak trees envy maples their red colors in the fall and dye their leaves to avoid the golden yellow that will certainly show? Do the Rockies wish they could be as voluptuos as the Himalayas, but say, "At least we aren't as flat as the Appalachians"? Does Niagara feel inferior to Victoria Falls? I mean, not only is it taller, it's named for a queen, for goodness sake! No. Instead, they beautifully bask in the blessing that God gives, instead of sulking in the darkness because God gave a blessing to someone else as well.

Last night I stood before my husband and asked a nervous question, "Do you find me attractive?" Yes was his response. "Did you find me attractive when I was 22 pounds heavier?" I managed. Again, his answer was yes.
"So why do you like me either way?" I ventured.
His answer was the only right answer. It is the answer that God says to each of us. God doesn't care about our looks, our mind, or our possessions. All he ever says, all he ever cares about, all he requires is,

"Because you're mine."

Accidental Adoption

In May our cat was hit by a car. I found her dead in the front yard. She was a sweet cat, but not tame enough to pick up and pet. She wouldn't swish her tail around your legs and trip you up like cats do. She was a wild cat that adopted us because we occasionally put out food for her. We didn't put out too much food, because we wanted her to catch mice, too.

So when she died, Matt asked if we should go find another cat. My response was no. Why would we go get a cat when all of the other cats have just shown up on their own? Just give it a little while, I assured him, we'll have a cat soon.

And then sure enough, a few days later, I was in the feed room when I heard a scuffle behind the scrap wood. A momma cat and her 5 kittens had decided to camp out in our barn for a while. I left a little food, and they stayed around.

About that same time, a man came knocking on the door. I have dealt with him before, selling him chickens, and then taking in his chickens when his neighbors disapproved. Now he was back asking if I could take 14 chicks off of his friend's hands. Of course I hemmed and hawed, and then said yes, I would adopt the little balls of fluff.

 Our dog, Captain, was adopted when he started causing trouble for his first family. I know a lot of you were in shock when I took Captain on. I must admit I was in shock myself, and I am not quite over it yet! He was to catch moles that were causing problems in the back yard, but he seems to have made more problems of his own.

All of these adoptions were unexpected and sudden. They were adopted for what they can do for us- eat mice, lay eggs, be butchered, or catch moles. But they were also adopted because of what we could do for them- provide a home and care.

 

I was adopted by my father not because of what I could do for him, but only for what he could do for me. I don't catch mice at his mansion, have never laid an egg and hope to not be butchered, and I find moles disgusting and only worth ignoring. But I was adopted anyway.

 

Last November, we adopted a little girl in Swaziland. It was thought out and intentional. We chose her for her country, her birthday, and her hilly countryside. She seemed like the right girl for us. There is nothing that she can do for us financially or physically. We can't hug her, cook her dinner, or even play a game with her. But we can write her letters, send her small gifts, and pray for her continually. Compared to all of the other adoptions that happen around here, it might seem insignficant, but I know it is having eternal results, just like my own adoption.

 

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:18

Retreat Results

I headed out Friday for a quiet day retreat asking God to speak. I had headaches all last week. They started at the base of my neck and seized my skull in a headlock. As we drove northwest, pain stabbed my left shoulder blade.

It took all morning, but hiking through God's natural stress-reducer eased my aching muscles and soothed my tired brain.

Lying on a blanket under a shade tree I began to hear God's whispers through the long slender leaves of the nearby locust. "Just be yourself."

 I have spent the last six weeks or so reading about all of the things I have to do in order to promote this new book. I need to use Twitter, FaceBook, websites, blog tours, and more. It has overwhelmed me to say the least. I have been trying to blog the way the "formula" says, and it has often felt so forced, so fake.

 And now, God says to just be myself? How can I do all of those things and still just be myself? Doesn't he know I have been myself for 43 years, and I still don't have a writing career? I just don't see how that is going to work. Fear's waters raged over me again.

And yet, the wind continued to whisper.
So my writing career may be very short-lived. I may have to work at a convenience store when the kids leave home. I might even be a lesson to other authors about what not to do when starting your writing career. But what I won't be is less than what God designed.

I will be myself.

Suffocation

Suffocation is often undetectable. I remember a story not too many years ago of a family in WV waiting on a school bus. The road was snow covered and as the family waited in the warm car for the bus to arrive, the carbon monoxide slowly poisoned them. There wasn't enough oxygen to keep their minds and bodies alive. Unsuspecting of any problem, they passed away.

Tuesday I was taking Captain for his morning walk when I thought about the need for some time alone with God. Maybe Friday would be a good day to get away, alone, to listen attentively. Then I started thinking about all of the other things that need to be accomplished: lectures to prepare for school, summer cleaning, platform lessons, and so it went. I decided that I just don't have time to retreat right now and my dog walking will have to fulfill my quiet time needs. I will find time this fall to be alone with God for a day.

Wednesday morning I started my day with the usual Bible reading and devotional, only this was the devotional: "Come away with me for a while. The world with its non-stop demands can be put on hold. Most people put me on hold, rationalizing that someday they will find time to focus on me. . . . I have called you to follow me on a solitary path, making time alone with me your highest priority and deepest joy." Jesus Calling, July 17

I can not tell you how many times this little devotional book has been spot on with what I am struggling with or doing. I have learned to listen and obey. So tomorrow I will be heading out to a quiet place. I plan to be silent, to listen, to sit still in God's presence, to draw deep breaths from the Spirit's lungs. I need the clean air of the Lord's mountain so that I don't suffocate.

Mothers Hide Things

My mother used to hide cakes. She would bake a cake for a work meeting at school, and didn't want my brother and me to eat it, so she hid it on top of the piano. Often she covered it with a towel so that we wouldn't notice it, but the top of the piano was probably a good spot without the towel; we didn't practice much.
My mother-in-law hid things from her children in the fireplace. No one would think to look in there for a bottle of Coke, and then there would be a special drink at a party or get-together. Oreos were also hidden, but in a drawer, not the fireplace.
Right now I have a box of Peeps hidden for when I want to give Matt a special treat. There is also a bag of Starburst Jelly Beans hidden in the closet; those are my favorite Easter treats. Bags of candy get hidden in drawers, presents are hidden in secret spots, and sometimes things are "hidden" right in plain view.
Food isn't all that mothers hide, though. They hide bad news by not telling the children. They sugar-coat the truth so children won't be terrified. Mothers hide the tears of pain when a child says they hate them. They hide frustration that the same problems are still causing trouble. Mothers hide fears, worries, concerns, and regrets.
Mothers are the ultimate hiders, and they do it all for your sake. Go seek your mother today and give her a big hug. I bet she hides a tear of joy, too.

Listen to HIS voice

That you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. . . Deut. 30:20a

Thank you God for this day. I've got to finish pricing the books. Please watch over Owethu and keep her healthy. Wonder how Marie's doing after the surgery? Better send her a card. Be with Jonathan as he looks for a job. Oh, I've got to remind him to check on the SGA dates. Help me to hear you today as I write. Help me to send your message out so others can have a close relationship with you. I better check my notebook and see where I am on that story.

There are a lot of voices in my head, all speaking at once it seems. It's a veritable rock concert in my head. You know what people do at rock concerts? They use ear plugs to block out the loudness of the noise.

Spending time alone with God is often a good way for me to hear his voice, but sometimes the rock concert turns up the volume. I have no doubt it is Satan in control of that knob. Today I refuse to block out my Lord with ear plugs. I refuse to shout overtop of the din.

Today, I listen to HIS voice.

White Suit Wondering

It was Mother's Day. The boys and my husband had offered to take me out for lunch, but I prefer my own cooking, so we had a lovely lunch at home. Afterward, we all enjoyed an afternoon nap, and then Matt and I headed out to visit a friend at the hospital.

We stopped by Sheetz to gas up the truck, when I spotted a man across the street in a white 3-piece suit. He cut quite the figure there, tall and trim with a white fedora placed neatly on his bowed head. He held fresh flowers in his hands and appeared to be praying.

He stood near the traffic light, and stop and go traffic zoomed noisily past. The sun shone brightly, the day was gorgeous, and no one else seemed to notice the man in the white suit.

He was standing in front of a grave marker, placed too near the road for mournful meditation. His Mother's Day was not marked with happy conversation around the table and an easy afternoon nap. He stood alone in a graveyard passed by busy traffic and thoughtless people. Out of place, out of time, out of sync with the busy world.

Sometimes I feel that way, too. Alone with my thoughts I am out of place and time, singing a tune that the rest of the world never hears. I wonder if God is across the street at the gas station, saying a silent prayer that I will enjoy this day, even if it isn't like everyone else's.

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Woodstock Whinings

"I can't think anymore. It's like there's a rock concert in my head!" I complained to Matt.
"Welcome to my world. I feel like that a lot," he replied.
"I don't think there's ever a rock concert in your head," I shot back. Then I tried to cover with, "Your's is more like Bluegrass."
"Too late," he sighed. He knew that I didn't think his problems could be as bad as my own.

Self-absorption. It happens at any age. Your problems are so much bigger than anyone else's. No one understands what you are going through. No one really cares. And the whining begins.

I listened to my dog's high-pitched whining this morning. He thought we should be heading out for our walk, but the rain was changing my time table. Captain didn't care that I had other things to do. He didn't want to wait. It was all about HIM.

That was when I realized that my thoughts and prayers were all about ME. Please, God, don't let my prayers be as annoying as the whining of this dog, I begged.

Then I stopped to give the dog some attention. I stroked his ears, patted his belly, and talked to him a bit. He still didn't get the walk that he was complaining about, but he knew that he was cared for. I am still asking God for some things that I have asked for for many, many, many years. And God strokes my hair while he whispers, just wait a little longer.

Katie and Rory, No Fear

My friend Katie found this journal entry her daughter Rory wrote in Kindergarten. In case your Kindergarten skills fail you, it reads: When I get a shot I feel very scared, but when my mom is near me I don't feel scared anymore."

Katie is a great mom. She loves both her daughters with a love that cannot be measured. Her daughters know that, too. But Rory doesn't say her mother takes away the shot, or tells the doctor "NO", or even that her mom takes the shot for her. Rory's fear is removed by the presence of her mother.

Can't you just see Katie preparing Rory for the day's visit? "You have a doctor's appointment today."
"Do I have to get a shot?" Rory trembles.
"Yes. But I'll stay with you the whole time."
Rory's eyes brim with tears as she tries to be brave, but she can hear the doctor walking down the hallway. Katie moves next to the bed and holds Rory's hand. Wrapping her other arm around Rory's small body, Katie whispers, "It'll be ok. I'll be here the whole time."

Jesus knew that something really scary was going to happen. He went with his friends, his very best friends, to a lonely garden and asked them to stay with him. They fell asleep, not once but twice, while he asked his Father to be near him. Friends were not enough. The only way he could get through the coming ordeal was if his Father held his hand.

God the Father loved Jesus. He held his hand as long as he could. He whispered words of encouragement as the "doctor neared the door", and then the murderers tore down the garden gate. The night was black, the friends were gone, the fear was reality.

But now the worst thing that could happen did. In Jesus' most anguished of moments, his Father let go of his hand and left for the waiting room. The sins of the world hung on the cross with God's Son, and God could hold Jesus' hand no longer. He wouldn't take away the crucifixion, or tell the sinners "NO", or even take the crucifixion on himself. (Don't go all Godhead Trinity on me at this point, but remember Jesus was fully man.)

I can't imagine Katie allowing such a terrible thing to happen to Rory. I know I wouldn't allow it to happen to my sons. And yet, God commanded it, and Jesus obeyed. Thank you, Jesus.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The man who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:18-19

"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13