A few days ago, Darkie got her horns caught in the fence. She was scared and angry and just jumped until she twisted out of the fence. It ripped off half of one of her horns, and it appears that I need to take it the rest of the way off. I am afraid that it is twisted so that it will grow into her head. I tried this morning to take it off, but was unable. I put her in the stanchion so I could keep her in one place, but she knew something was going to happen. She shook and trembled, bleated and screamed. I wasn't able to remove it, but did cause it to bleed more. I hate this part of farming. I hate that part of parenting. I don't want to cause pain, but I know some things are better for the pain. It is hard when they look at you with betrayal in their eyes. I thought you loved me. I thought you would protect me. How could you do this? I remember #1 looking at me that way when he was getting the third shot in a row. Big tears were rolling down his cheeks and he looked at me with disbelief. "I don't want another one," he pleaded. "I know. It will be over soon," I said as I tried not to cry with him. So much in life we don't understand. Sometimes I look to God with disbelief and a feeling of betrayal. I have to remind myself that he knows what is best and the pain will make it better.