7 a.m. and the day has already had a full start. The time change is difficult. The kids were up before 6 this morning- thinking it was nearly 7. Catching Millie is difficult, too, since she can get out of the pen. We didn't get to fix that before our trip and now I am paying for it. Christa had 6 baby bunnies yesterday. One was dead this morning. I think it fell out of the nest and froze. There didn't appear to be anything wrong with it. Lost the last litter to heat. _______________ Why do I keep finding sharks' teeth in the washer? There must be a shark in the septic somewhere. The boys pick up the teeth along the road and put them in their pockets. _______________ Reading back over the last few entries, I noticed that I spoke of the silence of death the very day that Grandma entered it. _______________ One highlight from DC: I was NOT impressed with the White House. It doesn't seem as grand as the WH ought to be. There are many other buildings in DC on a grand scale, so it isn't that they weren't able to build something better. Later, I thought perhaps it is because our country wasn't founded on a dictatorship and so the house of the people (Congress) is made to look grander.

Well, I am back again. The funeral went well. It was good to see how many people Grandma touched. The remarks from family were especially meaningful. It was difficult to leave the mountain top. As we drove away, I thought of how an era is now over. The grandparents are all gone now. Visiting the farm won't ever be the same again. ____________________ Hubby and I came home for one day to get things back in order and then pack for the DC trip. We left the kids in WV with the grandparents since they were joining the 4-Hers in DC. It was a great trip. We were able to navigate the Metro very well, and plan to make another trip in the near future. There was so much to see that we pretty much did an overview of everything. We saw Arlington Cemetery, monuments at night, the zoo, White House, Capitol, Air and Space and Natural History Museums, went up Washington's Monument, Vietnam Memorial, National Archives, and an exhibit on the Bible at the Sackler Gallery. We were very, very, very tired when we got back. Now I have to get everything unpacked and back in the routine. More highlights later. ____________________ Trunk-or-Treat was last night at church. We had a nice turn out. I don't know if there were as many as last year, but everyone seemed to be taking the time to stop and talk a minute. Our prayer is that people will see Christ in us through this event and want to come to know Christ in themselves.

It has been such a week. It seems every time I turn around I am handed more bad news. Last night I came home from church and went out to feed. When I came in, I could tell by my husband's face that there was more bad news. My mom had called while I was out. My grandmother died while they were at church. It was quick and unexpected. It seems she probably had a heart attack. Her husband died of a heart attack just after I was married and she has been widowed since. She was a good woman, though often sad and depressed. She lost a son over 60 years ago and never got over it. She missed her husband terribly. She was terrified that her father will be sentenced to Hell at the Judgment. She was appalled at the world around her and its neglect of God. She was passionate about her Lord and Savior. The memories I hold of her are mostly in the kitchen, either at her old home or the one she has lived in since Papaw died. I see her turn over the lids on the coal burning stove to see if it is ready for the cooking pot. I smell the strong soap she used for everything. I remember the circus peanuts in the cupboard, playing dominoes at the table, fabulous chocolate cake. She was always ready to feed you, even if she just ate and cleaned the kitchen. I always said she only ever cooked one meal, she had been adding to it ever since. She always had beans, bread, and applesauce, usually ham, and then, whatever cans she could open to add to it. I remember her garden, loose leaf lettuce salads with oil dressing, pansies around a tree, and constant worry. After I heard of her death last night, I thanked God that she is done worrying. May she be rejoicing with the angels in Heaven at viewing her Lord and Savior that she looked forward to meeting for so long.

The only highlight yesterday was my date. The trip's miscommunications, a dead rooster, no real answer to the chicken dilemma, too much time on the phone...need I go on? I have a great looking husband, who still opens doors, even in the rain, and it was nice to catch him stealing glances at me, even with a haircut. We came home and watched another movie that had come in the mail. So I was able to forget my troubles for a little while. I was thinking about the silence of death this morning. (Perhaps I needed more silence!) I went out this morning to take care of the animals and had to clean out the cage that Red had died in. I disposed of his body and poured water through the cage. Listening to the quiet morning sounds and the rush of water in the bucket gave me a feeling of solitude. It was enjoyable on a spiritual level.

Satan was on the Warpath yesterday! First of all, I hate, despise, can't stand to talk on the phone. The whole day was spent on the phone. The hotel we reserved for our big 4-H trip- that we have planned all year- did not have our reservation. Call the travel agent; she's out of town until Thursday. Make many more calls. The Extension Agent did not have an answer for my sick chickens. The manager for the oil company wasn't in. Also called the National Park Service---it is suppposed to be safe to go on the National Mall after dark. Call the 4-H families to update them. Call the in-laws to catch them up on things; they are also going on the trip. Mom called at 9:20 pm. On top of all of that...#5 hadn't had a nap the day before and was very weepy, the kids had trouble with schoolwork, the hair salon lost my name and I sat there for 2 hours. So it was a rough day, but Satan lost. I didn't yell at anyone, nor hide away in a dark room with some chocolate. Today I get a date with my husband. It should be a great day!

I have 2 sick chickens and a dead cat. I don't know if the two are connected or an odd coincidence, but I am calling the Extension Agent today to come and check on things. Hopefully it is just a virus that will be over soon. I have baby chicks and a duckling in with the rabbits and have baby bunnies due soon, so I need the space that the sick chicken is taking up in the rabbit hutch. ________________ I haven't heard from Guatemala, but the other family seems pleased that things aren't as bad as they could have been. The father felt like the daughter wasn't in mortal danger, but moral, perhaps. ________________ I had such a nice talk with a friend after church yesterday. I sometimes feel like I am drying up here. A good, long, honest, spiritual discussion is what I needed. Also, during church, I felt an intense urge that a former student of ours, Iliaba, needed prayers. I was moved to tears for her. I have no idea what was going on, but I lifted her to the Father, and I know that He knows.

We had our first frost this morning. I have been seeing the snow they have had recently up North, and thankful that we are in the South. I felt sorry for the little chicks and duckling that had to be in such cold their first night here, but they survived fine. I heard from an old friend today, via email. It is always so good to hear from friends out of the blue. I can't wait for Heaven. Other friends are on my mind today. One couple is to arrive in Guatemala today to meet their daughter for the first time. They are adopting a little girl and will get her back home next week. The other friend is on his way to protect his daughter from a possible predator. She is at college and is meeting a guy from Canada that she met on-line several months ago. Two very different missions, one purpose for both- grab hold of the one you love and protect her as well as you can. May God bless both families.

I was accosted by goats this morning. They can all get into the pen when I try to milk Millie, so now there is no peace. Darkie is a climber, with graceful, slender legs that end in sharp little hoofs. She likes to climb up my back and chew on my clothes. Today- not the first time- she took a running leap and landed in my lap! It is difficult to milk a goat and have another leap into your lap, landing on sharp little hooves. So I will be repairing the pen this weekend. ______________ Now, here is a story for you! I received a call from a friend last night wanting to ask a question. Could I possibly adopt 3 chickens and a duck from her friend? The story went on...She has them in her attic. WHAT?! Well because a snake ate 2 of the chickens she needs to get rid of them. She has a snake in her attic, too?! No, the snake was outside, that's why she had them in the attic. So why didn't she have a pen for them? Because they were for a wedding. WHAT?! I said this is funnier than a HillBilly story! So I spoke to the friend and gave her directions. She will arrive with the animals this morning. But we are only fostering the duck, "When it turns white can I have it back to give to my neighbor?" Strange.

We have been having trouble with our server the last few days. I called yesterday, and talked to a guy in Carlisle, PA. We used to get on the turnpike in Carlisle! Anyway, he was able to give me some help and hopefully we will stop having these difficulties. ___________________ Reading a new book by Nouwen, The Journey to Daybreak. Today it was this that struck me: Nouwen was visiting with a journalist who told this story about his four-year-old daughter. A bird had flown into the window and died. They had a small family funeral and the dad asked the daughter if she wanted to pray. "Yes. Dear God, We buried this bird. Please take good care of it, and if you don't I'll kill you. Amen." Nouwen said this shows the heart of a human. When you are afraid (she was worried for the bird), you kick into survival mode- kill or be killed. How you react as an adult, depends on who has taught you. I was taught by such good people all through my life. I had a great childhood, good church, friendly small town. I married a man who had the same. I have had good friends. How different would my life be if I hadn't had these advantages? Thank you God for the blessings of my life.

We picked up the kids' fair entries yesterday. Here is the final count: #1- one first place for his Ancient Roman Barnyard, four second places, three third places, one honorable mention, and 2 participations. That was a total of $21.50 in prize money! #2- three first places for his wooden stagecoach, a collage, and his essay, two second places, and five third places. His total was $24!! We are very proud of our boys. ____________________ I finished Can You Drink The Cup? this morning. It ends by speaking of James and John's request to sit at the right hand of Jesus..."as for seats at my right hand and my left, these are not mine to grant; they belong to those to whom they have been allotted by my Father (Mt 20:23). Drinking the cup is not a heroic act with a nice reward! It is not part of a tit-for-tat agreement. Drinking the cup is an act of selfless love, an act of immense trust, an act of surrender to a God who will give what we need when we need it. "Jesus' inviting us to drink the cup without offering the reward we expect is the great challenge of the spiritual life. It breaks through all human calculations and expectations. It defies all our wishes to be sure in advance. It turns our hope for a predictable future upside down and pulls down our self-invented safety devices. It asks for the most radical trust in God, the same trust that made Jesus drink the cup to the bottom. "Drinking the cup that Jesus drank is living a life in and with the spirit of Jesus, which is the spirit of unconditional love. The intimacy between Jesus and Abba, his Father, is an intimacy of complete trust, in which there are no power games, no mutually agreed upon promises, no advance guarantees. It is only love- pure, unrestrained, and unlimited love. Completely open, completely free. That intimacy gave Jesus the strength to drink his cup. That same intimacy Jesus wants to give us so that we can drink ours. That intimacy has a name, a Divine Name. It is called Holy Spirit. Living a spiritual life is living a life in which the Holy Spirit will guide us and give us the strength and courage to keep saying yes to the great question."

We participate in something called "co-op" with other homeschoolers. We meet once a week for 6 weeks and the moms offer classes for kids to take together. It has been a great opportunity for our family and many others. My boys have taken classes like P.E., baking, sign language, drama, art, and The USS Constitution. I have offered classes on citizenship, economics, music, and other topics. The kids have so thoroughly enjoyed these weeks that they now go sit in the van up to TWO HOURS early so they can be ready to go!!! We also have had co-ops of our own, last year one on science topics and one on insects. This fall we have a geography co-op that is learning about the 50 states. I have been thanked several times by #1 for arranging that co-op. He likes public speaking, and the kids have to present on their state every other week. It was a lot more commitment than I am used to (14 weeks), but I think it has been well worth it. I love being involved in what and how my children are learning. I can't imagine life any differently now. Last night, #1 was remembering when he was in public school. He said it was an awful lot of sitting and being quiet. Not much of a memory compared to what he gets at home.

In Can You Drink The Cup?, Nouwen talks about living life to the fullest- drinking your cup to the bottom. He talks about how difficult that can be at times. He then talks about Jesus's life. He was a man of honor, glory, celebration, well-loved, and also a man who received spite, hatred, mass pursecution. Yet, he drank his cup to the bottom, taking the good with the bad. And by doing so, he came closer to the Father. If we want to do the same, then we must drink all that life has to offer us. He also spoke about people leaving you (as in moving away or changing their life's direction), and how hurt and sad you can be when they do. His perspective was to live with people now so as to give them your love and attention, so that when they leave you they can pass it on to others. It is like being a friend as a mission. For someone who moves often, it was an interesting way to think about friendship.

Well, I made it through yesterday without baking a pie. I didn't get done half of what needed doing, so I can't imagine what I was thinking trying to make a pie. I don't even think I will get to the pie today. Sorry, Honey. As I looked around the "farmette" this morning, I wondered how people get everything done and still go to a job. My grandmother told me the other day of a neighbor who is a farmer and he has another full-time job. On top of that his wife works and they have three small children. I can't imagine what their bathroom looks like! I thought this morning, that it is a good thing God makes things grow without much help from us, or nothing would be growing around here! The flowers are blooming all over the yard, and it is not any of my doing other than planting- and not even all of them were planted by me! Some beautiful, red flowers popped up last week all on their own.

I am the most strong-willed, stubborn, irritating woman! I have spent the last nine months trying to slow down my life, to put aside the unnecessary, to care for my family in a non-stressful environment, and yet, when something good comes up, I just have to do it. There is a pie baking contest at the fair today, and the pies are served to the senior citizens. I like to bake, I owe my husband a pie, and it would be a good way to serve others, so I intended to be in the contest. But my last couple of weeks have been hectic and I can tell things are getting out of hand. So I told myself that if I can get to it fine, but if not that is fine, too. UNTIL, my husband told me I am not allowed to be in the contest. Now, he said that because he knows I have struggled with this busy lifestyle, and he is trying to help me. But just the fact that he told me I can't do it, made me want to do it all the more! How can I still be struggling with such a simple thing like submission to my loving husband? I hate rules and being told I can't do something. I like being an adult and making my own decisions. In being told what to do, I felt an electricity go through me that was full of challenge and spite. How can I possibly be submissive to God, deep within my heart, when I can not acknowledge the good my husband intends for me by helping me slow down my life? I thought I was past this- pride does goeth before a fall.

I started reading another Nouwen book, Can You Drink This Cup?, today. Again, he did a great job. Just the introduction was enough to cause lots of contemplation. I especially picked up on the thought that we each have our own cup to hold. Everyone has sorrows, just different kinds. If you compare your sorrows to someone else's you will have a different attitude about them than if you just look to Christ to help you through them. _________________ I got to go to a lecture last night sponsored by the university and a local church. I enjoyed thinking about things in a new light. The speaker was able to put into words what I have been thinking for quite a while. She gave an example of women reading the book of Ruth and then commenting on it. They all read the same book and came out with many opposing views, because of the life experiences they brought to the reading. It was good to get out and stretch my mind a bit. Thanks to my buddy for babysitting so hubby and I could "stretch" together.

What a weekend! It was very busy, taking care of 4-H and fair projects, with little rest. The weekend is supposed to be for rest, but I think I feel rested just from the knowledge that it is over with. The boys have entered 21 exhibits at the fair this week! The prize money is what gets them to do it. ___________________________ #2 certainly keeps his guardian angels busy. He has always been a risk taker, climber, face to the wind type of person. Yesterday he wanted to play in the ditch because he saw a couple young frogs. He was covered in mud from head to toe, and he smelled like a dead fish. He had to have 2 showers to get clean- the one he thought that worked and then the one that Mom showed him the dirt. On Saturday he was climbing in the tree in the front yard. He showed me how he had made a tight rope and was trying to walk on it. Later, unknown to me, he nearly hanged himself. I found out later from my husband that he found him with the rope tied around his waist and his neck, hanging from the tree. I guess #1 was trying to help him back into the tree. Dad thinks he fell out; he wasn't trying to hang himself at least. ___________________________ Church was interesting yesterday. The communion thoughts were on cannibalism and what the early Romans thought of christians. The idea that we are eating and drinking Christ's flesh and blood is quite solemn. To take into us the very life of God and become like Him- wow. Hubby is also becoming a better preacher. He has more of a passion about him now.