Do you ever feel like you just slap God in the face? I recently felt that way. I was asking God, as I have for so many years, to give me more children. Then I stopped to think about what I was asking. In Texas, we had 5 little kids that lived behind us. They became my children in all but the law. I fed them, played with them, dropped them at school, and put them to bed some nights. I disciplined them, took them to church, taught them, and loved them. Here I have had the "extra kids" for 3 years now. I have done all that needs doing for them- food, diapers, baths, spiritual teaching, etc. One friend who has watched me with them said it is wonderful the way I nurture them, like they are my own. How dare I ask God for what He has already given, as if what He gave wasn't good enough? I am like a little child in the check-out line, wanting all of the candy I see, and forgetting all of the goodies already in the cart. ------------ In preparing for Easter tomorrow, here is an excerpt from The Shack. Mack is asked to judge his children, two may go to Heaven, and three must go to Hell. Mack must decide which ones... "I can't. I can't. I won't!" he screamed, and now the words and emotions came tumbling out. The woman just stood watching and waiting. Finally he looked at her, pleading with his eyes. "Could I go instead? If you need someone to torture for eternity, I'll go in their place. Would that work? Could I do that?" He fell at her feet begging and crying now. "Please let me go for my children, please, I would be happy to...Please. I am begging you. Please...Please..." "Mackenzie, Mackenzie," she whispered, and her words came like a splash of cool water on a brutally hot day. Her hands gently touched his cheeks as she lifted him to his feet. Looking at her through blurring tears, he could see that her smile was radiant. "Now you sound like Jesus. You have judged well, Mackenzie. I am so proud of you!" "But I haven't judged anything," Mack offered in confusion. "Oh but you have. You have judged them worthy of love, even if it cost you everything. That is how Jesus loves."