Stages

I have two sons that seem to be going through new stages at the same time. That combined with remodeling a house is about to send me over the edge. I have a hot cup of mint tea sitting beside me now to calm the nerves. I remember #1 going through the ten year old stage, so I guess it isn't too surprising to me that #2 thinks the world is against him. Everyone, especially his brother, is trying to "get him." I try to tread gently here, knowing that his whole self concept is under fire, but whew! He seems to need to be near me even more than usual, and I am getting a bit "touch tired." Today hasn't been too bad for touching, but basketball with his brother is quite an ordeal. #1 is going through a whole new stage for us...preteen. He is 12 now and starting to throw out his wings a little bit. Thankfully, he is starting to recognize the need for showering and shampooing. I couldn't figure out why his hair was sooo greasy when he says he shampoos, and then I looked in his shower. He was using conditioner instead of shampoo. He doesn't have the keenest powers of observation. I recently had to show him how to use hair gel, as he had it glued to his head. He told me he was trying to have a "look." There are good parts to this new stage. He is starting to help a little more, carrying things for me, getting school work done without being told. He also noticed after my 4-H judging that he needs to start putting more effort into activities. He sleeps more than he used to sleep. He's fun to talk and joke with when he isn't in a mood. Overall I like it. My in-laws are going through their own stages. Their mothers are mentally gone; alzheimers has claimed them. They are doing crazy things like putting the food they don't want onto someone else's plate. They want to go home when they are already home. And they talk incessantly. It sounds a lot like a second childhood. Life is one change after another, and there doesn't seem to be anything we can do about it except wait. It is rough when you are going through it though. As someone told my mother-in-law years ago, "I think I'll take the next stage out of town."