A Night of Tears

I have begun writing my home schooling memoirs. I started this evening with how we began this journey. It was difficult to write. It was actually 100 days of school, but it affected me more deeply than I realized. A parent relives failure through guilt like a hurricane produces waves in a storm. It washed over me, and I cried and sobbed bitterly as I remembered the anguish of that first year of public school. I do not at all think #1 has residual problems from it, but I hate knowing that I sent him to that every day. A mother is supposed to protect and foresee problems. Hubby says I am too hard on myself. I did try to fix the problem. I had conferences, made suggestions, tried to implement change, but the teacher wasn't receptive. I wonder now at how our life would be different if #1 had enjoyed school. I read a friend's blog this week about her children's first days of school. I was jealous. But not for long. Our children are close friends. Their education superior to what they would have received in the classroom. And they still have their imaginations and creativity intact. We don't concern ourselves with popular fads or fashions. We read the Bible daily. We email grandparents, plant pineapples, make puppets, serve the community, and love each other. I don't know why God brought us to this life of home schooling, but I am glad He did.