"Look deep into my heart God, and find out everything I am thinking. Don't let me follow evil ways, but lead me in the way that time has proven true." Psalm 139:23-24 I am reading Psalm 139 all this week to meditate on God and our relationship. This verse has stuck with me because I thought I knew what I was thinking, and God showed me otherwise. When I went on my personal retreat I thought I was going to prioritize all of the many things I try to do, and then to cut some of the activities. But what God showed me was that my thinking was wrong. It was not the things I needed to cut, but the things I needed to add. I was trying madly to get the many things done, and leaving the important things undone. If I will just tend to the truly important things, God will help me with the rest, too.

I made a list of my many roles and what responsilbilities each has. Then I realized that I was really failing as a wife and home maker. I wasn't failing because of the other things I was doing, but because I wasn't paying attention to what I really need to. Here is a statement I wrote to myself: "I give him (Hubby) time when I have it, just like I do God." Boy did that hurt to say.

So Hubby was actually happy with the things I told him were going to change. Here is what came out of it: I will be more intentional and structured with my time. Internet time will be limited, bed and rising times will be followed, and God time will be an absolute. I am even making a particular time to grade papers. There is also a limit on "work time" and I may not work after 7:30 p.m. It has only been a few days, but I feel the weight lifting. I'll give you more details later.