When I was first breast feeding, I asked my doctor how long could I do that. He answered, "Just don't make him late for the bus." Well, Millie is making Elvis late for the bus! My husband says maybe she homeschools. Whatever, she still lets Elvis nurse. He is 3 1/2 months old, he could have quit at 2 months! ____________ From Nouwen's, Return of the Prodigal Son: "The prodigal's return is full of ambiguities. He is traveling in the right direction, but what confusion! He admits that he was unable to make it on his own and confesses that he would get better treatment as a slave in his father's home than as an outcast in a foreign land, but he is still far from trusting his father's love. He knows that he is still the son, but tells himself that he has lost the dignity to be called "son", and he prepares himself to accept the status of a "hired man" so that at least he will survive. There is repentence, but not a repentence in the light of the immense love of a forgiving God. It is a self-serving repentence that offers the possibility of survival. ...God remains a harsh, judgmental God. It is this God who makes me feel guilty and worried and calls up in me all these self-serving apologies. Submission to this God does not create true inner freedom, but breeds only bitterness and resentment. ...Receiving forgiveness requires a total willingness to let God be God and do all the healing, restoring, and renewing. As long as I want to do even a part of that myself, I end up with partial solutions, such as becoming a hired servant. As a hired servant, I can still keep my distance, still revolt, reject, strike, run away, or complain about my pay. As the beloved son, I have to claim my full dignity and begin preparing myself to become the father." Nouwen floors me by his insight. More tomorrow.