Well, as I washed all of the things yesterday in hopes of killing fleas and their eggs, the washer stopped working. It won't drain after the rinse cycle and then spin. So I took the water out bucket by bucket and tried again. Still it didn't work, so I drained it bucket by bucket again. Then Hubby and I went to work taking it apart. I had washed pillows and one came open so I thought stuffing might be trapped in it and stopping the drain. Our washer and dryer are in a tight space in the pantry, so I got the joy of climbing in behind them to figure out the problem. Spider webs, lint, and mouse droppings were not adding much to the "joy." There were two screws to get out of the back so that I could pull the hose out and try to drain it and look for fluff. It was dark and shadowy down there and I couldn't tell what type head screwdriver I needed. One screw worked with a Phillips head, but the other wouldn't work with anything. I told Hubby I thought it was a nut and so he handed me a "ratchet" to try and get it off. I kept turning the driver and he kept repeating to me, "It's a ratchet! It's a ratchet!" I at this point am hot and dizzy from standing on my head, and I guess I was beginning to melt down. "I don't know what that means." "It means you turn it." "I AM turning it." "No, you twist it." "I AM twisting it!" "Let me show you." So he proceeds to show me how to turn the screwdriver. It looked like what I had been doing, but he assured me it wasn't. It seems he didn't want me to take my hand off of the handle; it would go faster, he said. Well it seemed to go faster for me just turning and not having someone tell me over and over, "It's a ratchet!" So anyway, I got the screws out (One was filled in, that's why it didn't seem to be any type head.) and drained the washer and did not find a bit of fluff. So I got it put back together and tried it again after church last night. It will drain after the wash, but not after the rinse cycle. Now I have to drain it out again. Ugh. So today I have to call the handy man and see what he says. It is a two year old washer and should not have this problem! So that $50 dog is costing me more money again!! Sometimes I wish I had fleas and could just stay outside.

My second home as a married person was in an apartment complex. I was very vigilant as a new wife and housekeeper. My house was always clean; in fact my grandfather-in-law told me I vacuum too much. So imagine my horror when we started having cockroaches! The neighbors next to us were not at all good housekeepers and the roaches moved in. When the apartment owners would bomb the apartment next to us then all the roaches moved into our apartment. When we left there I said the most important thing in the next home would be no bugs. It has been an issue with me ever since. When I was growing up the only bug problem we had was spiders in the bathtub. I would have my mother look in the tub before I showered and problem solved. Other bug issues are not so easily solved. We bombed the house again yesterday, put Borax on everything, vacuumed, washed, mopped--you name it. I am still washing pillows. Then I have all of the dirty laundry to do, just in case the buggers moved into the hamper while we were bombing the place. So far I haven't had any complaints today, but it may be that everyone is afraid of my flying into a rage if they mention the "f" word---FLEAS!

I am trying hard to fight depression. I seem to be falling farther and farther behind and things are piling up. The house doesn't look a thing like the house I left a week or so ago. I have pulled things apart, while at the same time trying to continue with regular life, and I just can't keep up. I wouldn't be in such despair, except that everyone keeps finding fleas. #2 has bites all over him. I just want to leave or burn down the house or shoot the dog; I don't know. The heat isn't helping things either. I don't want to close up the house and turn on the ac because there is so much poison in the house right now, but it is getting unbearably hot in here. And all of this in the middle of OCTOBER!

I am back after a lovely vacation. We went to the beach for a week to celebrate Hubby's 40th birthday with his family and my parents. My parents were only able to stay a few days, but the rest of us were able to be there the whole week. The weather was great for the first week of October, though I hear it will be even better this week. Wish we could have stayed longer. The wind was a bit high the first few days, so a trip to an island had to be delayed until after my parents left; too bad. We visited a fort that we enjoy, the aquarium, and an island that has wild ponies and is uninhabited by humans. Of course there was just playing at the beach and later seeing sharks in the water we had swam in! Being with our family made it even better. Those cousins love to be with each other! I cleaned the whole house before we left so that I could return, unpack, and be ready to get back into the routine. When we got back, however, the house was full of fleas! So right away we had to bomb the house and leave. Then it was an evening of cleaning and washing and scrubbing the house and dog. We are still dealing with some fleas, but it is much better than it was. A dear, sweet friend told me last night that the eggs will hatch in 2 weeks and I will have to do it again. The dog is fast becoming a disagreeable trial in my life. She is now relegated to the sunroom and outdoors only. If she ends up at the neighbor's house then we will have to get rid of her. ---------- Speaking of great beach weather in October...When my parents got back to WV, my dad had to feed the cows hay, because it is so hot and dry there that the grass hasn't grown enough to feed them. My dad said he believes the environment is changing, because the last several years have been very different than when he was younger. Things better change fast around this world or we are all in trouble.

School today is going to be a math test and lots of home economics lessons. I have had a stomach bug for 2 days and now the house has fallen apart. With leaving town next week and the whole family coming for a day, I feel like I have to get things in order today. Tomorrow is co-op and we are always gone all day long with that. We love it, but it does make a long day. Last night's discussion was about sexuality. The author was stressing that purity is a response to Jesus's life, not because you don't want to get pregnant or get a disease. It was interesting to hear the view from my friend the doctor. For her, though it is about God's plan, it is very much about disease protection. She said she sees patients who say their sexual history is small- maybe 10 partners. That sounds big to me. The other part of the author's view was not to be shocked by the world's perception of sexual behavior. I suppose if what you are looking for is touch and comfort, then 10 partners isn't much. But if you are looking for intimacy, it is way too many. The world may know a lot about sex, but intimacy and lovemaking is another thing.

I happened to be thinking the other day, "What if I had married someone else?" My children would not be here, I would be somewhere else, my life would be completely different. Today is my Sweetheart's birthday. I am so glad that he was born, found me, and made my life wonderful. Happy birthday Lover. The boys and I are taking him to lunch today and then on Saturday we are going to the beach for a week. We have been looking forward to it for a long time. The boys are marking days off on the calendar. Hopefully the weather will be great for us.

I checked out a few DVDs at the university library on Sunday. One was called The Children's Hour and starred Audrey Hepburn, Shirley MacLaine, and James Garner. It was made in the late 50's, I believe. #1 wanted to watch it with me last night and so we did. I had no idea what I was in for. It is a movie about 2 women who run a boarding school for girls. One of the girls is nasty and she tells a lie to her grandmother about the women. The lie is evidently that the women are lovers. The lie ruins so many people's lives. The school is closed down, it is in the national papers, the women lose everything, the fiance of one of the women loses his job by association, and in the end one of the women kills herself. I was shocked by the movie. I didn't turn it off because I knew there wouldn't be anything "shown" that I couldn't deal with; it was all discussion. I thought this might be one of the easiest ways to deal with a topic that I know is going to come up soon: homosexuality. We had a good talk about what it is, why it is wrong, and how no sin is worse than another. The girl's lie, the way people treated the women, the homosexuality- all are unholy in God's eyes.

I went to a friend's house a few days ago to borrow something and ended up staying four hours!! The conversation turned to religion and I had to stay and visit. She has been checking out churches in the area, and has found them wanting. One was way too charismatic for her tastes, and the others that were what she is used to were not friendly. She said in one church no one at all spoke to her, and in other churches only the ushers spoke. As we were talking, the subject of our home school support group came up. She said it doesn't seem to be very accepting. I asked what she meant by that, since I have heard several people say that recently. She said that it is advertised as a Christian group that allows everyone to participate. But, she went on, they make it clear that they are going to try to change your view on religious issues. That may seem like we are being accepting, but people of other religious viewpoints would not want to come based on that. So in actuality you are separating yourself from everyone else. My problem with the group in the past has been that they are unaccepting of all Christians, choosing to judge for themselves whether or not someone is a Christian. I have tried to say that a home school support group is not a place to argue theology; can't we just accept Chirstians based on their belief in the Christ? But now I am thinking more about my friend's comment. Is it even a possibility to talk to a non-Christian in a Christian group that accepts other people? I am thinking it isn't, since I haven't met any non-Christians there. I am left wondering if perhaps I need to try a different group...

We had a good discussion last night about being Christians in the world. The author was saying that we should not be shocked by the world's behavior because it is not Christian. We should not expect the world to behave by Christ's standards. But, I was asking, when did that happen, because when I was a kid the majority of people did act like Christians. They dressed modestly, were honest, upright citizens, took care of family, talked civilly, etc. Was our country more Christian then, and what has made it change? Our conclusion was not that our country is less Christian now, but that it was culturally Christian then. People were not true Christians then; they were just acting out what their culture demanded. Media has changed us a lot because you used to only know the immediate culture around you. Now you know about the nation, even the world. So now when you see someone behaving as a Christian, they likely are a Christian, not just someone acting out the norms of their culture. So maybe it is better now for us. We can tell "true Christians" by their relationship with God instead of assuming by their behavior that they are Christians.

I haven't tried it yet, but a friend told me yesterday about a new way to make omelettes. You put the mixture in a freezer bag and then put it in boiling water for 13 minutes. It comes out perfectly. That way you can do several omelettes at one time. She said it is important that you use a freezer bag- the others explode! --------- Yesterday was interesting. We had a 4-H meeting and all of the mothers had been having a rough several days. One had been at the dentist that day for 3 hours with 4 young children- that would definitely be a bad day! But the others of us have prepubescent boys and we seem to be having the same issues. So last night a few of us got together to commiserate and share ideas. I was remembering before I went to meet them that I once heard a mother of 6 sons talk about how to discipline boys. She said do not physically strike them or put them in time out, even grounding can be rough. Those punishments just show them how powerless they are, and often put a female over their maleness. Instead, she said, have them do physical punishments, like running or push-ups. So for several years now we have done that. Just a couple of weeks ago I had them doing 15 push-ups each in the freezer section of Food Lion. It does seem to give them time to think about changing their behavior and also giving them some physical release. Today the hard labor is to scrape paint on the front porch. I guess we will skip the gruel today.

I asked my husband the other day if he thinks I am strange. He said he does. He brought it up again last night; he thinks I am strange. He picks out some of my behaviors as if they are foreign to the world around us. "You grind your own wheat, make fresh bread, milk a goat, buy raw milk from a farmer. You are a rabbit rancher, goatherd, chicken raiser. You hang laundry on the line when you have a dryer sitting in the laundry room!" My response, "I am saving the world. One load at a time, I am saving the world." I do not find these behaviors "strange" because in the world in which I grew up, these were normal behaviors of those around me. My mother still kept a garden this summer and last weekend was canning the last of the tomatoes and green beans. She also hangs her laundry on the line. Her mother continued to raise a garden until she couldn't walk to the garden any longer. It seems to be in my heritage to enjoy the fresh bounty of the world God gave us. Perhaps saving the world is a dying art, but I am keeping it up, even if I am strange.

I have discovered what to do when the children can't get along: hard labor. A friend said gruel is also helpful. We worked on the yard Friday for several hours, then had school until it was time for the boys to go to 4-H. There they had to help clean up a park as part of their community service. #1 told me on Saturday that that was the best he had slept in a long time. I worked them again on Saturday, and even yesterday I kept them hopping a bit. They have also been asking me to move the van from under the hoop so they can play basketball. I think the cooler weather is helping them want to be outside again. Today we head to the garden to try and recover it from a month of despair. I do have a few things growing, but the passerby would never know. I have some green beans, potatoes, okra gone wild, swiss chard, and eggplant. After the recovery, then we have school. They also have their first art class this afternoon and #2 is supposed to cook dinner. So it looks like another "hard labor" day. I am making Cream of Wheat for breakfast, perhaps that will be called gruel. Better go wake the inmates!

I often spend time on Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings in prayer for my husband. I ask that God will speak through him to those in the audience, that they will hear God speaking to them. Today someone stopped and told hubby that she felt like he was talking right to her. It's nice to hear a prayer answered- at least I hope it was God that she was hearing. Answered prayers, noticeably answered prayers, are not a common occurence. I have prayed for years that my brother would give his life to Christ; he hasn't yet. I have prayed for more children for at least 6 years now, and God has given them to me in other people's children. I have asked for 15 years that God would provide a teaching position for Matt at a college. He sometimes gets to teach at the local community college, but he doesn't have a "teaching position." I prayed for about 3 years that #1 would sleep through the night, perhaps I wasn't specific enough. I do believe that God hears my prayers. I also believe that he wants the best for me, and that he does truly want me to be happy. I know that I prayed children to be in our backyard at the last house and we were overrun with children. I prayed for a farm here and land for the kids and dog to run. We certainly have that. I once prayed for #1's leg to grow- it was shorter than the other- and it did grow by the next doctor appointment. God has answered prayers for material things, relationships, illness, peace, patience, guidance, and more. I guess that is what keeps me praying. I know that he hears me and loves me. I know that he is able to do so much more than I ever expect. So I continue to pray for the future wives' of my sons, that they will serve God every day of their lives. I pray for a healthy nephew and easy delivery for Polly. I continue to ask God for children, for a teaching position for Matt, for Todd's salvation. And that God will be heard speaking to us on Sunday, even every day.

I spent some time on my queue at Netflix recently picking out old television shows. I know you all think I am down on television and have probably hated it all of my life, but that isn't true. I actually have some fond memories of television. I remember running home after school to watch Little House on the Prairie. I remember going to my grandparents every Saturday on the other side of the county to have dinner and watch television together. On Sunday afternoons my dad and I would watch football together, basically I took a nap. On Saturday afternoons in the winter we would watch cowboy movies together. Friday nights I watched Dallas with my mother. Of course, Saturday mornings were saved for cartoons until bowling came on at 1:00. Television used to be something you could watch as a family. HeeHaw, the Carol Burnett Show, Lawrence Welk were all appropriate for the whole family. I don't know when it happened that tv was no longer appropriate for everyone, but I think it was in the early 80s. I remember Three's Company causing a lot of trouble because of the homosexual innuendoes and the "free sex" lifestyle of the characters. MASH also had some risque behavior. Though Dallas was visually free of sex scenes, you knew what was going on behind closed doors. I guess that became the "slippery slope" that allowed us to get where we are today. The commercials are so bad that even if I would let my kids see a show, the commercials stop me. We have recently discovered that you can see Nickelodeon shows on the computer without commercials! What a wonderful concept. I know that commercial television is what pays for the shows, and that without it I would have to pay for cable, but why do the commercials have to be so sexually oriented? I don't plan on having sex in my car, so why use sexuality to sell it to me. I have never had an orgasm while washing my hair. I don't tell my children when I am having my period. I choose not to drink alcohol, but if I did I am sure scantily clad women would not make me want to buy it. You see where I am going with this. So we will be enjoying all of the old shows from my childhood soon. We will watch them as a family and provide happy memories for my children without the commercialism of the world smacking us in the face. In the famous word of Gomer Pyle, "Gaaaww-lee."

I have joked the last couple of days that I wish the yellow bus stopped at our house. The boys have been at each other's throats lately. They are full of testosterone and competition. The problem, however, is that they can't stand to lose and so end up in tears several times a day. I suppose it is this instance that I would tell my sister-in-law that girls are better. Of course, I think girls end up in tears over things that don't matter- boys, clothes, just because- and I don't think I would like that either. The boys have competitions over who is better at Math, shooting hoops, Latin, memorizing piano pieces, remembering Scripture, turning off the television, etc. I suppose this has some greater good in the future; preparing them for the life of a CEO or future President. But I think I will have them memorize my favorite verse: Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you to, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. 1 Thes 4:11 ------------ I let Kelly out this morning and the air had the smell of autumn. It is a little cool out, not chilly, but I think I will go out and have some hot chocolate on the porch. Sorry to those in the North who read this.

My eyes were dilated today. The boys loved it; no school. I couldn't see to read anything, not even the place to sign my name on the payment! #1 asked if we can have eyes dilated every day! He and I both had check ups. His Rx changed a very little bit, not enough to mess with, and mine stayed the same. Good news there. -------- I am done milking Millie. This was the last morning for it. I put Milky Way in the coop yesterday at 5:00 and Millie still didn't have enough milk to mess with at 8:00 this morning. It is the strangest thing that she tried to wean the girl, but never the boys. I have no idea when Darkie is due. She is getting bigger, but there isn't any milk sack yet. She may not have gotten prego until we got rid of Elvis. I will wait to see what kind of milker she is and then decide what to do about the goats. Right now they are a liability. The chickens only gave me 2 eggs yesterday and they stayed in the coop the whole time. They are becoming a liability too! I am giving them the benefit of the doubt that it scared them out of producing when I clipped their wings, but they better pick up soon! Better start sharpening that axe. ------------ I have a nephew on the way! Hubby's s-i-l is having a boy after 2 girls. She is a bit nervous about it, not knowing anything about boys, but I assured her that is silly. Boys are no trouble at all, except when they stick copper wire into outlets, hang themselves by a rope from a tree, throw rocks at each other for a war, jump off the roof, etc. She said that's no different than a girl, they just wear a dress while doing it! So see, she should be fine.

I took the boys swimming for an hour yesterday afternoon. We went to a friend's house nearby. The sun was so strong that I actually burned while we were out. I can usually go a couple of hours without sunscreen and be fine. It was supposed to be the last of the HOT days so I was trying to take advantage and swim. We leave for the beach in a couple of weeks. We are all looking forward to the beach. My mother is counting down the days until we go. She has been counting for quite a while now. My husband says she needs to retire this year; she agrees. ------ I cleaned out the chicken coop last night. We are supposed to get rain the rest of this week and wet chicken manure really stinks! While I was doing that I clipped the chickens' wings. This morning they were all still in the coop. I have been getting 1 or 2 eggs a day because they hide them so well. I know they are laying more than that because I have found some now and then. So hopefully they will stay in the coop until they lay their eggs and then I will let them out in the afternoon to eat the bugs.

Boy do I have a temper! I read an article on-line last night that flipped my lid about why girls should not expect to go to college, but just to plan on being a wife and mother and stay at home. My husband correctly calmed me and did not allow me to respond to the article. After thinking about it through the night, I was able to respond in a much less biased state this morning. I seem to be wigging out a lot lately. Maybe I should try some valium. ------ I have found the secret to great bread made with freshly milled wheat: Lecithin! It is a natural soy product that gives the bread a soft texture. It is so wonderful that now we can have peanutbutter and jelly with bread that will stick to the roof of your mouth. I have missed that. ------ The results are in and I am not an old woman! I do not have a thyroid problem. Of course that leaves me with the question, "What is wrong with me?" It could be viral and will go away in time, or it could be an iron deficiency, or it could be something else. So for now I am planning to take an iron supplement for a couple of weeks and see if I perk up. I also have an appointment for an eye exam on Thursday to see if something is going on there to make me lightheaded. My father was so kind last night as to point out that I am middle-aged. Thanks, Dad.

I went to the doctor this morning and had some bloodwork done. I do not have a sugar problem and my hemoglobin, though low, is ok. I should eat more iron and take a supplement and get lots of rest. I have been sleeping 12 hours a day so I don't see how much more I can rest. If you were to look around the homestead you would think I sleep 24 hours a day! Anyway, there is one more test that they won't have results on until tomorrow, so a little game of waiting is going on now. Recently a friend was questioning when was the last time we took a vacation without our extended family. I was surprised to realize it has been so long ago. We all enjoy our families and like spending time together. I suppose part of the problem is that we live so far from home that vacations are time to visit family. But it isn't that we spend all of the time together. The grandparents keep the kids some so we can go out alone, the grandparents go off by themselves to see a show or something, the men go fishing and the girls shopping...We all kind of do our own thing. It works well for us. In light of that I was thinking about a couple of situations I am aware of right now. The people need to call someone to help and they have no one to call. I just can not imagine being so alone in the world that you have no one to call but a stranger. I have always been a part of a church and so if I had no family or friends around, at least I could call a church member. That is God's idea of a family I suppose.

I had another yard sale with a friend yesterday. She mentioned to me on Wednesday that she was having a sale Saturday and I took advantage of it. I only made $38.50 this time, but at least a lot of stuff is out of the house. What was left I took to Goodwill. I still have some homeschooling things in the attic to go through. I think I will do better selling them at a home schooling function than at a yard sale though. I have held onto things so long, thinking I will use it surely, but it is more likely that I will find something on-line or at the library. So I hope to bless someone else with my things, and allow them to bless me by helping to pay off the furniture! Well my mother told me yesterday that I can be having hot flashes. She was 39 when it started. I am a few months away from 38, so it is still a little early, but I guess possible. I think I will try to have some blood work done this week though. I am having dizzy spells and hot flashes. That could be a lot of different things. I am going to try the eye doctor as well. I had a flash at a baby shower today, and the hostess turned the fan up for me. I do believe that is the first time in my life that I have needed a fan turned up at an event. So now the whole room knows about my "problems." It reminded me of when I was pregnant with #1. I would stand in the back of the church and have hot flashes from pregnancy while Jackie Staten would stand in the back having a mid-life hot flash. How quickly the tables have turned!