Yesterday we were writing 4-H goals for the year. You have to do that every January and then at the end of the year, you see how much you accomplished. So I started with #1 and he had several good ones: Help at the Animal Shelter, Learn to ride a bike safely, Participate in the State Project, Visit new places... Then I asked #2 his goals: "You know those rides you get in and it seems like you are really on a rollercoaster, but aren't, and it shakes you around?" (virtual rollercoaster) "Yes." "I want to ride one of those." "What does that have to do with 4-H?" "Oh. Nothing, I just thought it would be fun." Can anyone spell FOCUS!!?

A man went forward yesterday at church to confess that he has a different face on Sunday than the rest of the week. He isn't as committed a Christian as he has lead some to believe, and thought perhaps his brother who has stopped going to church is more honest than he is because he still goes. Perhaps more honest is correct, but not more committed. Even if what you are doing is a farce, it is still showing a desire, even if it is subconscious, to please God. There are dry times in any relationship, friendly or romantic, and our relationship with God is no different. But you don't leave your spouse during a dry spell or it will be harder to go back and harder to ever have that close relationship again. Not impossible, but harder. The same seems to hold true with our spiritual relationship with God. He never leaves us, but if we leave him it seems hard to get back to him, too many other things get in the way. Just like your Lover, you keep reminding yourself why you love him/her. You keep doing the "expected" things. You stay put, and after a while you have that feeling back again. And then you seem to drink more deeply to quench the thirst.

I was thinking about my husband's cell phone recently. He uses it as a pocketwatch. He doesn't wear a wristwatch, hasn't for years; it pulls the arm hair. But he used to keep a watchface in his pocket to know the time. Now he just looks at his phone. I have seen a lot of people do that. My Papaw had a real pocketwatch. He wore overalls most places he went. He walked slowly, with his hands clasped behind his back. Then he would pull out his pocketwatch, on a chain, to check the time. It just seemed less rushed that way; somehow a cell phone time checker seems in a hurry to get somewhere. --------- I spoke with a young lady today who is doing her student teaching. They call it "Senior Internship" now, but it is the same thing; a stamina race to see who can survive the kids, parents, staff requirements, and low pay. She is teaching first grade just like I did, though I had to do two placements and also had 5th graders. It occurred to me later that the kids I had in that first grade class are at least as old as this young lady!!! The kids I student taught could now be student teaching!! Yikes. That means the fifth graders are...I don't want to think about it. --------- Today's sermon was about the Bible. Part of it was about how strange it can seem to us---Hittites, Girgashites, Perizzites, Edomites, etc. #2 looked at me and said "hippo-crites" (long i on crites). I couldn't help myself and laughed out loud. I told Hubby what he had said and everyone laughed. Pooor little guy was embarrassed. I told him it was a funny joke. He said, "Yes, but I didn't want everyone to laugh." Better not grow up to be a comedian.

#1 is 11 years old today. He wanted a sleepover with friends and to watch the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. He got the dvds for his birthday, along with some books and gift cards, and everyone came about 3 yesterday afternoon. They played outside for a long time, had pizza for dinner, played outside some more, and every now and then watched a bit of the movies. At 11:30 I told them to get inside and the doors would be locked. I guess that is when they started watching seriously, and I went in at 3:30 a.m. to check on them and they were still watching!!! The two youngest had fallen asleep earlier than the others, so they were up at 7:30. It's going to be a long day. #1 has really been showing us how he is growing lately. Yes, he is tall, but he has been maturing in other ways too. He is doing things without my asking, helping out around the house, asking what he can do to help, etc. It is a welcome change. Part of his sleepover caused a little concern because he wanted to ask some of his female friends. Some parents were concerned about that, so we had the boys and girls "sleep" in separate rooms. At first, #1 had said he would invite one girl, but she isn't allowed to go to sleepovers. Then he asked if I knew why "because she seems very mature and responsible. She helps a lot with her brothers and I think she's a good girl." The poor thing is still unaware that the girl friends are actually girls! He couldn't figure out why they had to sleep in separate rooms, and I pulled a "because I said so," so that I wouldn't have to enlighten him on the fact that all of his friends aren't guys.

We went on a double date last week with some friends from church. The boys stayed with the friends' older kids while we went to dinner and a movie. We saw Juno. We all enjoyed it, but I don't know that I can recommend it to anyone. It could be taken different ways by different people. It is about a 16 year old who ends up pregnant and decides to give the baby up for adoption. When we got the kids back and were headed home the boys asked if we had a nice time. "Yes." What did you see? "Juno." What's it about? --At this point I am wishing we didn't have such polite, interested children! "A girl that misbehaved." What did she do? "Just misbehaved." Did she steal or tell a lie? Ok...I guess I have to deal with this. "She misbehaved and had a baby." #2 responds with "I thought having babies is a good thing." "Yes, but not when you are in high school and 16." That is when the fun began! #2: "It's good that we are homeschooled. When you go to public high school they make girls take birth control pills and don't let them tell their parents." #1: "What's a birth control pill?" #2: "It helps control birthing, because you know with all of those boys and girls standing so close in schools, they get pregnant." #1: "Mom, I think you need to have that talk with #2 that you had with me." I nearly busted a gut trying not to laugh during all of this!

We went to Jamestown/ Yorktown/ Williamsburg for a few days. We learned a lot and were able to put history into a better perspective, but what a trip it turned out to be! I don't normally complain, but listen to just a FEW of the things that happened...#2 started it out by not being able to find his gift card to KB Toys (we were going to the outlet there), we decided he has to learn to be more responsible so he had to suffer through his brother spending his card, #2 also forgot to pack a swimsuit for the hotel and any toiletries--toothbrush, comb, etc.--#1 has lost his coat and it was freezing or below freezing a lot of the time. I told him to take layers to wear, but he didn't. It was very, very cold, and it rained the second day. We blew out a tire and had to replace 3 of them. On the way home we picked up a rock in our windshield. I had to laugh or else I would have cried. We ended up not spending any time in historical Williamsburg. We didn't have tickets for it and it was much too cold to just walk around. We did eat at a tavern there and it was very nice. The costumed staff came around and entertained us. That was my birthday dinner. A trip for the memory books.

What a week. I hadn't even realized that I didn't blog all week. I have been gone every day this week to somewhere, and I really don't like weeks like that. Monday night was a 4-H Leaders' meeting that left me feeling overwhelmed. 4-H really has a lot to offer, and you just have to tell yourself that there is no way you could possibly do all of it. Tuesday was an all day 4-H meeting since we didn't have the business meeting the first of the month. We went ice skating, had pizza, and then the business meeting. The highlight there was the induction of #1 as President for the year. Then in the evening, against my better judgment, I met a friend and then spent a couple of hours at the library. I should have stayed home and gotten caught up. Wednesday was spent catching up and running to church. Thursday was spent running ALL day, most of it with 3-5 children in tow. I had hoped for a peaceful evening, but #1 had broken his glasses on Sunday and they were finally done, so out we headed again to get that taken care of. He is happy to see again. So here it is Friday with only one blog. Whew! So much for that Resolution. ------------ Last weekend we had some little friends over to play. They were here at dinner and so I fed them. While they were eating in the dining room I was eating in the kitchen. I could hear the unkind conversation in the other room, so I started singing, "Love one another, for love is of God." The other kids laughed and asked, "Why is your mother singing?" I heard #1 sigh, "Here we go again. This is what she does when we aren't behaving." I thought it was funny, like he was sighing over a lecture or something. ------------ Darkie is in heat again. I will try borrowing Clyde again, but I am afraid he may be too short for her. At least it will make her stop crying all night! I really was hoping for some sleep last night.

I cleaned out my van yesterday. I only took out the garbage and vacuumed; it still needs to have the vinyl washed and the whole outside washed, of course. I bought the van a little less than two years ago. I test drove a Yukon. The boys and I really liked the Yukon---leather seats, drove like a breeze, nice and roomy. Except for the trunk. There was hardly any space in the "trunk" and to get to the third seat was going to be a big hassle. So for the ease of life I said "no" to the Yukon and took the much more practical Honda mini-van. It was a good decision. In the last two weeks the van has hauled a dog, LOTS of children, animal feeds, groceries, food for dinners, packages, luggage, and goats. Yes, goats. I bought two goats yesterday and hauled them home in a dog carrier cage. The Beverly Hillbillies never rode in such style. I doubt that is what Honda intended with their mini-van, but it would have been good advertising to me. ------------ The goats are Nigerian Dwarf goats. They are about the size of small sheep. They are both supposed to be pregnant, due at the end of April. Nigerians are supposed to be pretty good milkers for their size, soI am hoping for some fresh milk this spring. For now we are all trying to get used to each other. The goats are trying to decide who is the boss of the field. The biggest and oldest goat, Darkie, doesn't really care. She hasn't taken over in any way; she just wants peace and quiet with a little gentle petting. Sounds good to me.

I took the boys to a play last night about the White House. It was really good. We all laughed so hard and still learned quite a bit about the White House. Afterward, a couple families went to Krispie Kreme to enjoy a treat together. #1 made a comment about not drinking after a girl because that is how babies are made. The kids laughed and he didn't know why. That hurt his feelings and he had a hard time with the rest of the evening. When I found out what happened, I had a talk with him privately. He told us last year he didn't want to know how it occurs. I asked if he was ready yet. He told me yes, no, maybe. So I gave him enough info to move him along, but not the full details. I told him it would be better for the sake of his embarrassment, not to say anything about how babies are made. Then I wished I could have left him thinking that drinking out of the same cup as a girl would make a baby. It would eliminate a lot of problems, colds being the least. ------------------- I am going goat shopping this afternoon. I hope to come back with 2 pregnant does, Nigerian Dwarfs. They are about the size of a medium to large dog. I went out this morning to check on the chickens and heard two robins calling to each other. Last year it was February before we saw robins. The winter has been so mild I guess they decided to come back early.

Ten days into the New Year's Resolution and it has been shot at by the enemy. Of course, with this being the third year that I have made this resolution, I feel like I have battled it a little better. Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: I signed the boys up for art yesterday, and when I got home I found out about the music class the university offers. Then I had a dilemma. I would like the boys to have both opportunities, but quiet evenings at home are a must for me to have a quiet life. I tried to come up with several different ways to accomodate the class, but I am just going to have to say no. Now that it is in cyberspace perhaps I will have to say no or eat crow. To work with your hands: Not doing too badly with this part. I am wanting to get out into the garden soon so I can actually plant this year when I am supposed to. And to mind your own business: The house across the street disappeared this week. I didn't even notice until Hubby pointed it out, so maybe I am minding my own business. But now I am wondering what is going to go in there. A couple of houses went in down the road on a lot that I thought couldn't hold more than one house, so now I am wondering...None of my business!

Yesterday #1 was working on some research for a paper. He is writing a story about pirates. The book he was using had a recipe for pirate biscuits and he wanted to make them. I told him I thought that would be good for lunch and to go for it. He made the biscuits with a little help from me, and then #1,2, and 5 had them for lunch. #2 told me he didn't care for it and it tasted sour. #5 took a bite and shuddered from head to toe. "That's tewwible," he said. The recipe called for 5 tsp of soda! I refused to even try it.

I was leaving to get the oil changed when my neighbor stopped me. "We have a problem. Again." So nice to see you too. The problem for him is that he believes the development next to us is building so that all of the rainshed will come onto our property and the road in front of our home. He was ready to go to City Council about it; he was very irate. I told him I thought the first thing to do would be to go to the developers. I talked to him quite a while and he never saw why that would be the right thing to do. It was almost as if the "right thing to do" was another language to him. Finally, he ended by saying, "I guess you're ever the optimist." I ended by restating, "It's just the right thing to do." He shook his head and walked away.

I started yesterday by singing to my children of how they needed to get out of bed, making an early start, help their heart, work out long so they will be strong, etc. #1 asked me to please not wake them that way today. I thought it was a pretty good song. We went to the gym early and had a good work out. I had a "mother tiger" moment. I took the boys to the pool for our cardio workout, and an old woman there started yelling at #2 for splashing her and getting her hair wet. Now, I was trying to tell him to move over to the rope to swim, but her tirade just kept going, so I let her finish and then asked him to move. Then she jumped on me for letting him do that. I understand old women not wanting to wet their hair. They go get it done once a week and then leave it alone. BUT, if you are going to go to the pool you should expect to get a little splash or else wear a shower cap. I thought I would take that woman out back and knock some sense into her-- mother tiger. ---------- I went to the funeral yesterday. It was a long day, but good to be there for my friend. The widow seemed to be holding up well. I imagine it will hit her later today.

Today the routine is supposed to start. The holidays are officially over for us and we head back to school. To change it up a bit though, we will be going to the gym in the mornings BEFORE school. Homeschoolers are not known for very early mornings so we are talking a major routine change here. The boys are upset that it means no tv in the mornings before school. -------- Although today is back to routine, there will be very little of it. The father of a friend passed away and I am going to the funeral, 3 1/2 hours away. So the kids will go to a friend's house for a while, and I will watch my "extra" kids later this week. My friend who suffered the loss was not raised in the area, so another friend and I are hoping we can be her support today. -------- #2 came in the other day and told me Jesus sure was late. "What do you mean?" "Well he was supposed to be born around April, but he didn't come until Christmas. That's what I call late!"

I spent a whole day writing our Christmas/New Year's Letter this week. All of that writing and editing put me on hold to write any more. It was fun to read back through my year of all that had been said. The kids are so funny, and they get it from their dad! --------- The year seems to be having a rough start for some people close to me. A friend left last night to go be with her dad. He was starting to have respiratory failure. He has been doing some experimental procedures and it didn't go well a couple weeks ago, I guess. He has cancer. Another friend found out her aunt, who has no other family, has masses through her body. The friend will likely move herself and her kids down to be with the aunt and help care for her. We will miss them terribly. I am still fighting some type of infection in my toe. It started before Christmas, and is seeming to get worse. I can't wear regular shoes. I was in the grocery yesterday with all my sweatsuit and cold weather attire, and sandals on my sock feet. I got several weird looks. ---------- #2 had his birthday party on New Year's Eve. The kids stayed up and had a great time. I think I wrote that already. But then, they went outside and played all day together. At 1:00 I asked if they wanted to go to a movie with us, and they did, but wanted to go home first. So their mom picked them up and we picked them up after that an hour later. We went to see The Water Horse. What a great movie! People even clapped at the end. My mom asked if it has a great moral. No not really, it is just a nice story. --------- I did borrow a man (billy goat) for Darkie. He seems to have done the job, although we won't really know for a few more months. The fellow seems happy here, a big field to roam and a girl at his beck and call. What more could a man want? ----------- Did you hear the Mountaineers won the Fiesta Bowl? What a wonderful thing for them. Morgantown was all astir about Rodriguez leaving like he did. I am glad they won and could put that in his ear and blow! The way he left was so selfish and irresponsible. ----------- I tried triple coupons at the store yesterday. I got up at 6 a.m. so I wouldn't have to deal with a bunch of people on my first try. It went great, except that I forgot the 20 coupon rule and so didn't get as many triples as I had hoped. I went back later and tried again with some other things. Did great again and DID remember the rule. I got things for 14 and 19 cents, and a few things free! ------------- One last thing and I think you will be caught up on our lives. It is COLD here! It was to go down to 15 last night. Today is 47 and all week to get higher, until next week is back in the 70s, but for now we are COLD! Hubby says if you are going to be this cold at least have the decency to snow! I think we all agree.

Happy New Year. Last year Hubby and I went to bed and let the kids stay up to midnight. This year #2 was having his birthday party that night and wanted a sleepover. So we had movies, cake and ice cream, pop-its and sparklers, AND managed to stay up until midnight. The kids and I went out and set off sparklers and pop-its at midnight. Then I ran back in- it was COLD- and they stayed out a little longer to play cowboys and indians. It is nearly 8 a.m. and the kids are all sacked out in the livingroom in various positions; one little guy is going to have a stiff neck. So what about a Resolution? This will be the third year that I make the same one. It comes from Thessalonians; Make it your ambition (insert resolution) to lead a quiet life, work with your hands, and mind your own business. It is the "lead a quiet life" that I have mostly focused on, and yes after three years I am still working on it. I have a tendency to try and do too much. I enjoy life so much I want to do as much as possible. The problem is that I end up not enjoying the life when I do so much. This year I will be trying to watch my commitments- to kids' activities, teaching classes, animals, garden, etc. Each year I have gotten better, so I hope to do well with this resolution. ---------------- I did not write the family Christmas letter this year. I am hoping to write it in the next few days. It is the first year in about 15 that I haven't written one.

Bless the Name of the God of Rain. We had nearly a full day of rain yesterday, and an inch of rain the day after Christmas. Thank you, Lord. -------------- #2 received a letter from Santa as part of his Christmas present. It was addressing his request for World Peace for Christmas. The letter said that there are many things Santa gets asked, but that he can't give, like jobs or finding lost parents. But the gift #2 asked for was already given many years ago in the birth of Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace. Santa followed it up by saying that he tries to be a peacemaker by being kind and generous. Other people have tried to make peace in other ways, like Martin Luther King, Jr. And Santa hopes that #2 will be a peacemaker as well. The letter came with a movie, The Nativity Story, and a book on King. My aunt read the letter and said she disagreed with the ending. She would not call MLK, Jr. a peacemaker. She said she remembers watching the news and being afraid at what was going on at the time. Marches and riots were scary and she didn't understand why they had to go about it that way; it was definitely NOT peaceful. I wonder if that is what people said about Jesus. He upset the balance of communities. He overthrew tables in the Temple. He lead great crowds of people around the countryside. He certainly looked to some people to be attempting to overthrow a government. Perhaps the Prince of Peace was the Tyrant of Terror to some. Yesterday in Bible Study class we were looking at the book of John and two healings. Jesus heals a man who had been crippled for 38 years and a man who had been born blind. The Pharisees could not "see" Jesus, who he really was, like other people could. It occured to me that God had never been to Earth before, except for visits with Adam and Eve or in the form of an angel. To have God come and live with us in the form of a man, and have to do everything that a man has to do, well that was incomprehensible. It was blasphemy. It was breaking the very Law of God. To bow down and worship a man was strictly forbidden, remember Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? I am glad I am on this side of the Ressurrection. It is much easier for me to believe something that has been tested through 2000 years of history. I just can't feel contempt for the Pharisees; I don't know that I would have recognized God in the form of a man who was causing trouble either.

We are back! What a lovely trip home for the holidays we had. We saw all, ALL, of the families, and managed a little time for a movie and shopping. Poor #1 got very sick Christmas Eve and was up all night. That put a damper on his excitement for Santa's arrival and opening presents, but #2 enjoyed himself. Now I am unpacking while the kids play with their new things. Hubby has headed off to work. So I guess we are back to the routine. We took the dog with us on this trip since she is the biggest problem when it comes to our leaving. She did well in the van, but by the time we got home last night she was ready to be here. She travelled a lot while in WV since we couldn't leave her anywhere. The other animals are doing well, thanks to my little 4-H helper while we were gone. Darkie is need of a man, so I am hoping to borrow Clyde, the billy next door, this evening. She was up all night crying for him. The best Christmas present I got was a canner. Now I can make soup and can it for our lunches! I can't eat chicken from the store, so I have sorely missed chicken soup. By the way, the hog didn't get butchered, so the chickens will soon be in the freezer. So much for their savior.

Merry Christmas! Today is Christmas Day at our house; last night was Christmas Eve. We went out for Chinese and then a little shopping. Then we drove around and looked at lights, came back, lit the Advent candles, and watched a Christmas movie. This morning we opened presents around the tree and had chocolate chip pancakes- a House special- for breakfast. Now we are spending the day together at the gym and a movie- Alvin and the Chipmunks. Later we will get everything packed for our trip home. I think I am going to like this Christmas. I have always wanted to have Christmas with just my family and this seems to be doing it for me. My screwball of a husband was unwrapping presents with us when he picked one up that said to M from M. Then he thanked himself and opened it. He said he kept leaving a coupon around the house and I never took it, so he went and got what he wanted and wrapped it up for himself. He got juggling pins and a video. Look out next year at the Holiday Banquet and Talent Show! The boys got air rifles. They have wanted them since we moved here and theirs were lost in the move. So now they are running around like hooligans shooting at each other. I got chocolate. What could be better?

I have decided on the perfect gift for a child who asks for World Peace---Jesus. So he is getting The Nativity Story DVD and book. That is if I can FIND it in the stores around here. I looked until 10:00 last night and no luck. There are a couple of stores to try today still, and we can always call WV and have them check there. I also got him a book about MLK, Jr. I think Santa will write a letter to him about how Jesus is the Prince of Peace and here is an example of how to live that out. World Peace starts one person at a time. ---------------- Speaking of world peace...My children have been having trouble getting along with kids in 4-H. It doesn't seem to be my kids' fault. I know that sounds like the parent talking, but this is coming from other children, not my own. Anyway I have contacted one of the mothers of the problem children and am waiting to hear back. I hate confrontation. ----------------- We have joined a gym and yesterday learned how to use the weight machines. My worst fears were realized. Those machines are torture chambers. Don't they just look like something from a war movie? Like they will tie you to it and start stretching you, like they did to witches. Probably shouldn't tell them #1's enjoyment of all things Harry Potter and dragon.

#2 has a little more trouble with the Santa letter. He constantly changes his mind. So a few weeks ago, maybe a month, he wrote Santa asking for an MP3 player and "lots of books." Then, last week when #1 sent his letter to Santa, #2 decided he would send one as well. He sealed it up and didn't tell me what he asked for. A couple of nights ago he came into the kitchen yelling, "Commercialism, commercialism! It's all turned into commercialism." He was speaking of Christmas. So I said, "Well you have turned it that way too. What did you ask Santa for?" "World peace." That was it. He asked for world peace. Hubby said they were coming home from Guys' Night Out the other day when #2 said he would like to have a couple of things. I believe they were a knitting book and a dragon book. #1 said, "You can't ask for that. I asked Santa for that and you can't get the same thing. What did you ask Santa for?" "World peace." "No, really." "I asked for world peace." "Well, what else did you ask for?" "Nothing." "Too bad." "Why?" "Because you aren't getting what you asked for." It seems we have a realist and a dreamer at our house. --------------- As hubby told me that story, he was reminded of it because he was taking the dog out. She did #1 and #2. I want to put a disclaimer here: In no way do I think of my children as processes of elimination. That thought had never occured to me, only to their father! I am ONLY speaking of birth order when I call them that. It is only for their protection and safety that I do thus, and in no way describes how I feel about them.

My 10 year old- almost 11 year old!- wrote his letter to Santa last week. It took him a long time because he can never decide what it is he really, really wants. I did not suggest that he write to Santa. I am so pleased that he still has the innocence to believe. He wrote the letter, addressed it, and took it to the box. I couldn't be trusted to take it out. Here is what I recovered: Dear Santa Claus, How is your wife? Did you have a nice summer? I know I haven't been perfect, but I hope I can still be on the nice list. So I hope I can still get some presents. Here is a list of things I want: Harry Potter DVD Interactive Game, Charmed Knitting, How to Draw and Paint Dragons, Marvel Superhero Fact Book, Transformer Action Figure, as many magic tricks as you can find, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 2 disc DVD. Love, #1 ------------- I will share #2's letter tomorrow. Today was spent finishing up 4-H projects, and we are DONE! Tomorrow is our last meeting for the year and we will really be done after that. We joined a gym last week and I had to drag myself and 2 kids there this morning. I worked out in the pool and it really seemed to help stretch out my back. Tomorrow we train on some of the equipment.

He's my kill the spiders and roaches man, catch the mice and chop the rooster man. He's my pick up heavy things man, wait in the car man, cry on his chest man. He's my humorous man, my academic man, my juggling and jokester man. He's my complete the taxes man, forgive my ignorance man, my live on a farm when I'm a city boy man. He's my goose me, grab me man, he's my angry kiss when Rodriguez goes to Michigan man, he's my staring at a beautiful woman (me) man. He's my Lover, my Great One, my Friend, and my Brother. He's every man to me and he's mine for 18 years today. Happy Anniversary Sweetheart.

Oh how the time is flying. I planned our school calendar to have all of December off, but just knew that we would still do some school during the month. Guess what? Nada. This afternoon and evening the boys and I did manage to get quite a dent in the 4-H year-end requirements though. That is a relief; I was getting worried. I did however take the time to go to the beach yesterday. The weather here was so beautiful this week. I really wanted to go on Monday- it was supposed to be 79 degrees and sunny! But it just didn't work. I have to say yesterday was perfect. It was about 72 and the sun was shining strong. The kids managed to get wet, even though they were in jeans! We took some friends with us and dug in the sand, walked, looked for shells, played frisbee, and just relaxed. I felt a little guilty knowing that there is so much at home to do, but it is supposed to be a Winter Break and so I broke loose. Last evening the temperature started dropping and about an hour ago the rain started dropping. We are about 18 inches short on rain this year and we are hoping to get 2 inches out of this tonight. It won't make a whole lot of difference, but we will take what we can get. My parents were surprised a few nights ago when I told them that we got a salad out of the garden. It has been so warm here, but we really should get some more salad if this rain comes through. I had my first shopping trip this week with real coupons. I guess I did well, but it was more than I had really wanted to spend. I had to tell myself that you can't really shop by the week, but have to look ahead. I was able to get some things for 4-H co-op lunches in the spring, and some sodas for #2's birthday. I got some Betty Crocker brownie mixes for 20 cents each and Cheerios for 50 cents. When I got back from the beach I found out hubby had sold one of the goats. Millie was our oldest goat and the one that had had the kids the last couple of years. A hispanic family stopped on our porch and were knocking when Hubby came home. He was able to understand the spanish for milk and told them she didn't have any and isn't pregnant, but the spanish for "tie her legs together" was eluding him. My father thinks he should brush up on his spanish in case he needs to preach to someone in spanish. Hubby said he doesn't think "tie her legs together" is going to come up in his preaching! Tomorrow is our 18th wedding anniversary. It has been a good trial period. I think I will keep him.

I was counting my blessings this morning. There are so many I don't know if I can count that high! I was talking with my dad last night and saying how blessed I am to have been raised around people who know how to do things and how to live on less. There are so many people who don't even know how to cook! He agreed that more and more people are not cooking- said with a smile in his voice as Mom brought dinner home! I also am blessed that I didn't have children outside of wedlock. A cousin just had a baby this week with a girl he barely knows. She got pregnant, it would seem, the first night they met. Pregnancy is a wonderful experience that is also full of non-wonderful changes. I can't imagine going through that with a guy you know can't keep it in his pants. Now they have to figure out how to live with each other and with a new baby. There are a lot of strangers in that house right now. I am also blessed that my husband is still here. A friend is moving this week and there is a lot of turmoil involved with closings, builders, inspectors, banks, etc. When life gets stressful for me I always have hubby to help me through it. Somehow we never seem to melt down at the same time, holding the other up. This poor friend is alone. Yes, she has friends and family, but it isn't the same in the middle of the night when you can't sleep. I have filled out a lot of medical paperwork lately and it has made me realize how blessed we are in that realm as well. I don't have prescriptions, my kids are healthy, we haven't had to go to the doctor in quite a while. (Except for Sunday when #2 had unexplainable hives. He is fine now.) Some other friends are looking for work, but are being unsuccessful because of criminal records. They made mistakes in the past that are still haunting them years later. I am very blessed that my stupid mistakes were not illegal blunders. Of course there are blessings of friends, family, hearth and home. But I have a feeling there are other blessing I don't even realize at the time. Thank you God for all of the known and unknown blessings.

We had our annual Progressive Dinner last night with our congregation. The appetizers were at our house. The boys went to stay for the evening with their best friends. How that was a punishment I am not sure, but they thought they were being "sent away." It greatly offended them that it was an adults only event. I guess they never figured that out the other years. Anyway they had pizza, watched movies, and played with friends- wish I could be "sent away" some time! The Dirty Santa gift exchange at the end of the night is always fun. I ended up taking a piggy bank that farts when you put in money. I told you I've been with males too long! I can just see my brother-in-law laughing, though, when I give him that for Christmas. The friends who watched the kids thought it was funny too. Now I am home with #2 who got up this morning not feeling well. He went in the bathroom and yelled, which means he is vomiting. Actually this time he yelled in order to overcome it and NOT vomit. I know the feeling. He is covered in a rash that is spreading, so we will be heading to the Urgent Care at 10:00. Hubby thinks I planned it because I was having trouble waking up this morning. ------------ Hubby tells me I am hard to shop for because I don't care for jewelry or clothes. The fact is I very much like clothes- I wear them every day, for goodness sake! I have told him what I want for Christmas, but he never remembers what I say. (Maybe he just doesn't like what I say I want.) So I wrote my desire on a post-it note the other day and stuck it on my forehead. Then he took it and wrote it on his calendar so he won't forget. I want someone to come and clean the house in March. By then my schedule is so busy I start to get stressed when I can't keep up with the house. Of course, after he wrote it down, I started having guilt spasms about being a stay-at-home mom and needing someone to clean my house...I certainly do struggle with pride.

11:54 p.m. I woke to hear the bleating of our goat, Darkie. She was obviously upset, and I went to see if there was a goat thief or coyote or something bothering her. No, she is just hankering for a man. She was at it again at 6:30 this morning. I guess she will get her second chance soon. -------- When we had our boys about 10 years ago, a lot of friends were also having boys. When we would attend different churches around the country I would notice their classes were filled with boys. I once remarked on it to an older woman and she replied that it is a sign of coming war. Sure enough we went to war. But this whole thing of being with guys so much of the time could give me a complex. I counted 13 people in my home yesterday, and only 3 of them were women- myself included. Women of the World, please forgive me if I start to saunter when I walk and speak while belching. I may even start to punch you in the arm when we meet, but it is all a sign of the company I keep and not disdain for the feminine. ----------- My friend was over yesterday to help with the coupon and smart shopping lesson. It appears that CVS is actually a good place to shop. Who would have thought? Anyway, I am now part of a coupon shopping group, and am hoping to reduce our bill by $100 a month. We'll see how it goes.

The boys finished art class at the university this week. They always have an art show of what they did all semester. We were disappointed to hear that our favorite professor will be taking a semester off this spring. I am sure we will continue to take art, but this lady was good with the kids. #2 actually took 2 classes this fall, so we had 2 shows to go to this week. Then yesterday we went through all of the art projects from the last couple of years and decided which ones really need to be kept. I will be heading to the recycling center this afternoon. ----------- Last night we were discussing "religionism." That is religion that you become addicted to. For instance, some people must be given communion by a priest before they can go back to work on Monday. I tried to think of how this affects me. The only thing I came up with is silly. I know it isn't true and yet I still have trouble with this. Soon after I was married, I wrecked our car. I had just stopped singing Christian music and was singing a secular song. I felt like if I had kept my mind on Christ, then I would have been protected from the wreck. Even to this day, I sing secular songs in the car only when I am very alert. Crazy, but true.

Yesterday was interesting. My husband told me on Monday that he would really like to have a date with me this week. I guess he is missing me; how sweet. Well the only time that worked was yesterday morning. So I arranged for a friend to keep the kids for the morning. He told me he didn't care what we did on our date, that he just wanted to be with me. So we went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. Then we went to Sam's to fix a flat tire, to Target to buy a can opener and some birthday gifts, to Globe Hardware for Christmas gifts, and then home so I could get ready for the 4-H meeting. Hubby said he had a nice time. He must have been desperate for a date! ----------- #1 was running for President at 4-H yesterday. He had to have a campaign speech, and he did a good job explaining why the kids should vote for him. He has been to all but 2 meetings in the last 3 years, he has been to every County Council meeting this year, he knows his leaders, etc. He was unopposed at first and then another kid decided to run. His speech was not prepared and so not nearly as good. The other kid won. Now, this is coming from other parents- not the parent of #1- it seems that one of the kids in the club incited the others to vote against #1. This kid has a problem with my boy that mostly has to do with a girl, jealousy, and too much testosterone. After it was over the kid that won said he really didn't want to be President and declined to accept the election. I was very proud of how #1 dealt with it all. He was obviously disappointed not to win, but he didn't say or do anything bad. He didn't cry or pout. Then when he won, he felt badly for the friend who was taken out by his mother and reprimanded. When I questioned #1 about it, he said he will just have to work hard to prove to those who didn't vote for him that he is the right man for the job. Very grown up in my opinion. ----------- The dog was on the couch this morning. She needs to die soon.

The Scrooge Family has the tree up and some decorations on the mantles. Just thought everyone would want to know. The boys put up the decorations on Saturday. #2 didn't feel the need to have them up since we will be gone for Christmas- my sentiments exactly! But #1 wanted to get them out. The truth be known, he didn't care about the decorations, he just wanted to get the Christmas movies out. -------- I kept track of everything we spent in 2007 and added and averaged on Saturday, and found out we did pretty well. I had thought we would need to start using the envelope system and watch more carefully, even start cutting our spending. But actually we did ok. We spent more fixing the house and not much at all on savings or retirement, but the equity in the house is probably a good idea. I did come to the conclusion, though, that some things could be cut. We will be eating out less, and a friend is coming this week to help me learn how to take advantage of grocery coupons. However, one of the biggest problems has been the animals. They really are a liability right now. So we will be getting rid of the rabbits and 2 of the goats. One of the goats is getting a second chance to produce a kid, but if she can't then she is out of here. I am in the market for a good dairy goat though. It would save us a lot of gas money to be able to milk our own instead of driving to the farm for fresh cow's milk. As far as the chickens go...they are being saved because they do occasionally offer me an egg, and because we are getting a butchered hog for Christmas and I won't have room in the freezer for the chickens too. So the hog's death is saving their life. --------- Speaking of the chickens...There is one that I have to put in the coop every night. She really likes to hang out in the manger. Last night I picked her up to put her away as usual, and she started purring! I thought for sure she couldn't be, but I looked it up and YES chickens do purr! She has become a sort of pet after all of the picking up at evening, so I guess she finally felt like showing me some love. She pushed against my chest, held my hand, and put her head against my shoulder in the crook of my neck. Who says chickens are mean?

We went to the Morehead Planetarium on Thursday. It is on the UNC-Chapel Hill campus. We actually had to drive up a hill to get there! Boy, I haven't had to drive up a hill for a long time. I took 6 kids in my van, and that was interesting. The conversation of homeschoolers is different than most kids. They had talks about new laws that are being considered, about democrats and republicans, and about their campaign speeches for the upcoming 4-H elections. Of course there was the normal talk too about super heroes and Garfield. It was a good day, and the boys liked the ending of it. We were on our way to pick up a pizza as we pulled back into town, and they thanked me for a good trip. I asked if it was a good last day of school. They were stunned and greatly pleased; they were supposed to have had school on Friday and then be done. They have enough days in and I didn't want to start a new section in anything, so we are now on Winter Break. Yee Haw! We will be hosting the appetizers portion of our church's progressive dinner next week. I signed us up for it, but somehow it never entered my brain that that means I need to decorate the house for Christmas. Hubby reminded me; he's so sweet. So I think this afternoon the boys will be putting up the tree and other decorations. I guess it is ok since it is now December. We have watched a few Christmas specials on ABC already. My shopping is done and the boys have just a few more things to get, so let the season begin! ---------- I have often complained about having to go back to WV for Christmas. I really would like to have our family open gifts from Santa on Christmas morning under our own tree. I remember my Christmases as a child so fondly and I want that for my kids. Hubby has tried to tell me that the kids have a different tradition and that it is ok. They LOVE going to the grandparents for the holidays: being with family and all of the excitement. Well, I finally have gratefully accepted that as our tradition. The other day a friend was saying that they will be staying home for Christmas this year. It is their turn to go to her mother's house, and the mother doesn't really care if they come or not. She said she would rather they visit in the summer when the weather is nicer and there is less stress. My friend said that is the advantage of coming from a family that isn't loving and closely knit. There are no expectations to see each other or to have to be cheerful. I was surprised that there is an advantage. I decided I don't ever want my kids to think they came from an unloving family, and if it means going to someone else's house and having a great time, then that is what we will happily do. -------------- #2 receives a subscription to Ranger Rick. The subscription is about to run out and he has been getting concerned about whether or not he will get another one. He told me the other day, "Mom, PLEASE! You have got to get me another subscription. I was reading this story and they left me on a coat hanger. They won't end the story until next month!" "That's a CLIFF hanger dear."

Most of you know I hang laundry on the line to dry. There are several main reasons that I do this: 1. To use less electricity, thus helping the environment. 2. I love the smell of the fresh laundry when I bring it in. 3. It saves money. 4. It gives me a chance during the day to be outside. I often look around at how the landscape is changing. There is a barn in the field next to us that is hidden by trees and at this time of year it reminds me of home. The leaves change colors and with the sun shining through them it looks so much like Nestor's back home. Then there are the goats and chickens to watch, and Kelly and Leo give me some entertainment as well. About a week ago I was hanging laundry and looked up to see a bald eagle about 20 feet above me! There were 4 of them flying around the water tower. They came back several times over the next few days. It was really great. So I guess I would add #5. Enjoying the wildlife. However, as I was ironing shirts today and stuck my hand up the sleeve of hubby's shirt, I no longer enjoyed the wildlife. There was a bee in the sleeve from hanging on the line yesterday. It got my pinkie finger and really hurt. That doesn't happen when you use the dryer! ------------- I have been trying to think of ways we can save gasoline and tried an experiment yesterday. I wrote down all of the places I needed to go, and since it was a day that included picking up or dropping off children 3 times in one afternoon, I tried to accomplish all of my errands in one afternoon. I thought that way I wouldn't have to go out the next day except the one time to pick up children. So much for that experiment! Hubby had to have his car inspected so it was run to the shop this morning to leave the car and then run back this afternoon to pick it up, plus picking up children. I did try. Perhaps the carbon police will let me slide this once.

Cassie, Neener neener neener! I have begun the Christmas calendar. Just had to throw that in there. I have a tradition of making a calendar for our parents every Christmas. I think this is the 9th year I will do it. I make a scrapbook page for each week of the year. It is fun to look through and see what we did that year and how much the kids have changed. It is also sad to look back and see this is the year that Grandma was gone for the whole year. Anyway, I spent way too much at WalGreens this morning getting pictures printed. I really get frustrated with the digital camera. I know it saves in film, and it's great to have the pictures stored on the computer, BUT it seems I don't ever print them until Christmas and then WHAM! ------------------- So how do you talk to an unbeliever about prayer? Mostly, people think of prayer as asking God for something--health, safety, a home, children. Certainly to speak to an unbeliever the discussion would start there. You aren't going to start by talking about "listening" to God or they may call the "Looney Wagon." But how do you come to terms with the family that prays for a child and never receives one, while others never ask and all they do is multiply like rabbits? Or when one family loses a mother to cancer and another is miraculously healed? I don't have a good answer, but I am leaning toward a parental answer. My children ask me for things that sometimes I grant. I may allow them to do something or I may buy something for them just because I am in a good mood and want to see them happy. But there are sometimes that I say no. Often they understand the reason I give for the negative response, but sometimes it is just a simple, "I am your mother and you will just have to trust that I know best." That answer from God is hardest because I don't actually hear Him say, "I am your Father and you will just have to trust that I know best." He doesn't often give me reasons for negative answers, but if I wait long enough I usually figure the reasons out. I guess the greatest part about praying to my Father is that He doesn't get tired of my constant questioning and begging. If the boys were to pester me so much I know I would huff and puff and blow them down. Thank God that He is a better parent than I. Now that is a good prayer!

We took the family on an outing yesterday. We have been wanting to go to Ocracoke for quite a while and everyone's schedule finally allowed it. We drove to a ferry and rode 2.5 hours to the island. It was a very windy day and the ferry was really rocking. We ate a snack, played yahtzee, looked around, had lunch, and watched dolphins off the ship. Finally we arrived and took off to see the island. I really think we would have enjoyed it more without the biting wind in our faces, but it was still a lot of fun. We found shells, a bat, the skeleton of a stingray, and several shells of horseshoe crabs. There is a British cemetary that has 4 sailors bodies. They were patrolling off the Outer Banks during WW2 when a German U-boat torpedoed them. It was amazing to read how often that happened. I hadn't heard about that before. We also took a different ferry over to Hatteras Island. We were looking at lighthouses for hubby to photograph. He got the one on Ocracoke, the Hatteras lighthouse, and then also the Bodie lighthouse at night. I hope those come out- the full moon was behind it- neat. We ended by eating at Big Al's in Manteo and the boys picked a song on the Jukebox. -------- Today we headed over to a stock auction to see how birds are selling. The prices were about the same I get here at the house, plus you have to pay the barn. So I think the best way for me to sell ducks will just be to put a sign in the yard. If worse comes to worse, I could try to sell them there in a large group. I will go back a few more times to see if maybe today was a bad day. I was also looking for a Nubian goat to buy for milk, but they didn't have any. There is a guy staying with us for a few weeks, though, and his wife's grandfather raises Nubians a couple of hours from here. So maybe I will find one that way. I bought milk at the store today and nearly fell over when I saw the price. I have been getting milk from a farmer but I have to drive so far for it that I didn't this time. I have decided the price is right, even with the drive, since I can't drink store milk without getting sick.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. We live not too far from the original site of Thanksgiving, and we hope to visit it within the next year. The thought of being so close has made me think about what the original must have been like, and just what exactly I am thankful for. I am thankful that I do not have to cook for that many people. I am thankful for what I am cooking that I have an electric stove, indoor heat, a grocery store, good pots, pans, and bakeware. I am thankful that I have indoor plumbing and do not have to travel to get my water. I am thankful that my family is all alive and healthy, and that with a quick push of some buttons I can talk to all of the family that is still far away. I am thankful that should someone become sick, they will likely recover, that we do not fear for our lives, that no one is starving. I am thankful that we will gather with friends who have these same blessings. Mostly, today at least, I am thankful that my country still takes time to be thankful. May we all see our great abundance and give thanks to God.

The Great Confusion is ocurring on the north side of our house. We live next to a water tower and main water line. The area here is growing like gang busters, so they are doing work on the water lines. The problem is they have been working on it all year, ok, at least since early summer. The workers are out here at least once a week digging up the area, burying something, and then coming back to dig it up again. They come with big equipment, generators, and lots of men. I have come to call it "The Great Confusion" since they don't seem to know what is going on. Perhaps (hopefully) it is only I who am confused. ------------ I had high hopes that our insurance rates were going to go down soon. A university within our religious movement worked out a national group plan with Blue Cross/Blue Shield. But for the options available to us, it will be about $1,000 a month. Our current deductible is much larger, but the monthly premium is about half that. Certainly the coverage they are offering is better, but we can't afford 12,000 for insurance a year. This is a topic I will be watching closely in the election year ahead. I live in a country with the best medical knowledge and services in the world, but I don't get to use any of them. They are reserved for the rich. Yes, if something extreme happened, we would be offered care, but at a price that would make us wish it weren't available. That isn't much of a choice.

The in-laws just left, the dishwasher is running, the laundry is started, and I need a shower. There is no school today for us, and we are all loving it. I get the "extra" kids at noon, 4-H this afternoon, and #2's art class. I am trying not to focus on all of that, and just enjoy the slow morning. We saw Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium last night after dinner at, where else?, Golden Corral! The movie was great, rated G, yet deep and lovely. Not an ounce of ugliness or impurity, just plain wonderful. The idea that you can only see life as magical if you believe it to be magical is one to never forget. Now if I just had a magical nose to twitch this work done.

Saturday was busy, but great. #1 had soccer playoffs that whole day. They do it all at once to get it over with, but for those with more than one child playing it must be sheer torture! Anyway, our inexperienced team won the championship!!! He was happy, but really was so tired that there wasn't as much celebrating as I thought there might be. We told the boys we were going out for dinner to celebrate, but didn't tell them that their grandparents would be meeting us at the restaurant. It was the perfect ending to a great day. So the in-laws got here Saturday evening, and are staying until tomorrow. Hubby and I got a date last night and went to see Beowulf. I liked it; he did not so much. It was intense, which is unusual for me to like, but the story is good. And the special effects are amazing. The way the artists thought of every detail and animated it is just remarkable. Today we went to a little town nearby to get some fresh seafood to cook at home. Then we walked around looking at the boats and wildlife. It was a gorgeous morning, leaves changing, sun shining, cool breeze. Just like fall should be. This evening we are all going to see Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. There is no school this week for us, and we are all enjoying the break.

The Iraq War is a big issue today, in this age. Yesterday the 3 year old told my boys that we started Iraq. They were confused thinking he meant we started the country. It was something his father had told him, and he was just repeating what he had heard. But the issue is so big now that you don't even have to add the word WAR to it. The issue is hard to discuss without strong words and strong feelings pouring forth. I don't have strong words or feelings about the issue. I think I see both sides of it. I do think that Sadam was a threat to the world, many Kurds would agree. I think that oil policies were part of the decision. I think terrorists will continue to attack as long as no one counter-attacks. I do not want to lose my sons in war. I also do not want to tell my sons that it is ok to treat women like dirt, that women and children have no rights, that you should ignore the plight of the poor and helpless. There are some who say that this is a religious war. Others question how God could endorse war. I guess I say there is no answer to those questions. God must surely greive at the behavior of those who attack, and at those who ignore the hurting. I can not pretend to know what God would want from this. I do think, however, that he would like both the war and the ill-treatment of his creation to end- at the same time. That will only happen in the next age.

The conference was nice last night. I learned a couple of new things, and got some free resource books, AND had a nice, free dinner out. There were 4 homeschool teachers there and another registered that didn't make it. I saw statistics recently for NC home schools, and was flabbergasted. There are 68,700+ home school students in NC. It is nice to see us making a good impression on professional teachers and college professors. -------- Yesterday was a good day because I got a lot done in the morning, nothing out of the ordinary happened, and I had the evening to look forward to. Tuesday was not so great. I thought I would take the boys out to get their Book-It free pizzas before picking up #5 and then they could eat that for lunch. #1 went out to wait in the van only to come back in and tell me the doors wouldn't open. I had left the dome light on Monday evening and the battery was DEAD and more than 6 feet under. So Hubby had to come give it a jump and I went straight to pick up #5 and then to SAM"S to get a new battery. So we ate at SAM'S and that threw everything off schedule. Then I picked up #3 and #4 and took the kids to play at a playgroup so I would not have to waste gas going back and forth to town since #2 had art class at 4:30. I was glad to get home. I suppose all of that made me appreciate yesterday even more.

After reading my post yesterday, my husband informed me that he had gone to bed at 11 and the kids hadn't gone until 10:00. I guess the time change is just affecting the old woman of the house! I made it to 8:50 last night. -------- Back to the atheists...A debate that I watched between an atheist and a Christian had the atheist saying that a God who would allow such horrible things as this one evidently has should not be worshipped---pain, hunger, war, disease, and especially the crucifixion of his son. I can see his point. It certainly does sound like a horrible God when looked at that way. The Old Testament God often sounds like something I would not want to worship. But if I had to worship, were given no choice, then that would be a dictatorship of a God. Sometimes dictators work well, but usually they turn into tyrants. I think anyone could see, if they looked honestly at it, that a God who gives free choice is a better one to worship, even if it means he allows bad decisions, like war or destroying the planet and causing hunger. A God who will give his son over to death does seem harsh. But a God who loves me enough to even give his son for me, now that is a God I love to worship. And Death did not hold that son, and both he and the Father knew it couldn't. So how can that be bad? Again a lot of that is taken in faith, and therein lies the difference between an atheist and a Christian. --------- I have been thinking for a while about what I will do after the kids leave home. Recently I wrote that we have had to decide that life is different now than when we were children and I will not be going back to work soon like our mothers did. But at some point I need to make some money. So I started thinking about carpentry or electrical work, then yesterday I saw men working on a house at the community college and realized with the way I have messed up my back this year, that is not an option. So then I had to think about where will I be in the future. The common theme was that there will likely always be a small college nearby and with a Master's Degree I could probably teach at the college as an adjunct faculty. So now I have to decide what I would like to have a Master's in...I do NOT want to teach again in public school or private, but maybe education is an option, or history, or government, or speech and communications, or linguistics, or English Composition, or, or ,or Anyone want to offer an opinion? How in the world do we expect 18 year olds to make this decision? ---------- Along the same vein, I will be attending a conference this evening given by the local university. I have gone the last couple of years and enjoy being a "professional" again. We will be discussing education in the global community.

The time change has greatly affected my family. Night before last I went to bed at 8:00 and last night I barely made it to 9:00. Even my husband has been going to bed earlier and he is a night owl. I do wake up a little early that way, but I enjoy lying in bed and slowly entering the day with time to think and pray. In Texas the time change wasn't such a severe change in our lives because you are so far west, it is like being an hour early anyway. Here we are so far east that the change makes a big difference. I was thinking this morning that we have been here three years now. That has always been the mile-marker for a place to feel like home. 18 months to not be homesick all of the time, and 3 years to feel like it is home. I have to say it did not take that long this time. We love this little town and our home so much. We made friends so quickly and this is such a great place to home school that we really didn't take long at all to fit in. But now the three years are up, and I have to say I do notice now being at home here. I don't feel like I need to go see someone from my past or my family, if we stay here for holidays or weekends, it is just fine. I also know how to get just about anywhere from anywhere and that is a major sign that this is home. Home Sweet Home!

I have been confronted by atheism several times recently, and have come to the conclusion that atheism is very similar to theism. Both believe remarkable things, all in faith- there is no hard "proof" for either argument. To believe that this world and, all that is within it, just happened over time is quite a statement of faith. To say that there is a God who made it all and put it into motion is also quite a faith statement. But considering both of them, I would rather be a theist. An atheist who is confronted by disease, poverty, hunger, war, and death sees no hope and becomes bitter. But a theist who is confronted with the same things, sees a God who wants to welcome him home and gains great comfort. I enjoyed this piece of an article on the subject: "So if we open our minds as Bloom would have us to do- or perhaps, open our eyes- we can see that it is not true that contemporary American individuals are merely civilized animals. They are refusing to do what nature intends them to do, and no other animal is self-conscious enough to do that. And it is not true that they are unmoved by death. They want to avoid death so badly that they have refused to generate their natural replacements. Our individuals seem to know as well as the philosophers that existence is basically biological and that one's death ends all, so they work hard to stay alive as long as possible. But that self-centered work has been very hard on their friends, families, nations, and even their species. Our extreme individualism would raise the spectre of our species' disappearance if it were not for the fact that so many non-individualistic peoples remain on our planet, peoples who have not been remade by the philosophers. Individualistic Europe's likely future is not depopulation but Islamization, which probably won't be good either for philosophy or for Enlightenment." Peter A. Lawler

We had a busy Saturday, yesterday. #1 had a morning soccer game- won 4 to 0- and then we headed to church for a fall cleaning day. We threw away a bunch of junk, and that always makes me feel good. I like to declutter. Then we had a history expo in the late afternoon, and the boys did a presentation on the Renaissance: Leonardo da Vinci. He was a really neat man, so very smart. He designed a submarine, helicopter, airplane, and so much more. Most of his inventions were never made, but one was a lion that he presented to the king. When the king would tap on its nose, lilies would pop out of its chest! This was in the late 1400's!! Of course there was his paintings, too. The reason so many people were naked in the portraits at that time, was that they were just starting to understand anatomy and how muscles work. It wasn't a ludeness as much as an excitement about how the body works. Da Vinci would cut open cadavers to explore the muscle system. He was one of the first anatomists---this word was often written by my boys as atominist. So we had a talk about atomic war and how very different it is from anatomy! ----------- Today we had church and went out for lunch. Now we are home for the day and enjoying it. Tomorrow the boys go to a day camp in the afternoon and hubby and I get to go to lunch together. It is good to have co-op and the history expo done.

#1 received his first college information in the mail this week. He is in 5th grade, so it isn't something I expected. We have talked a lot about college, what he wants to do, where he wants to go, etc. But actually getting something in the mail was a bit of a shock. I figure we have 3 1/2 years before we have to get that serious about it! --------- #1 also had a bit of trouble with his writing this week. He had written what he thought was a finished biography on Leonardo da Vinci. After I checked it, it became apparent to him that he was not finished. The tears started after I had checked off quite a bit. I assured him that that was ok; his friends had been in tears recently for the same reason. My husband had heard the exchange, and at dinner brought it up. He told the boys how he used to write a paper, check it, then hand it to me and I would mark a bunch of stuff on it. Then he would rewrite, give it to his dad and HE would mark stuff. Then he would rewrite, turn it in, and the professor would mark things anyway. The boys wanted to know, "Why is it always HER that marks things?!"

We had a contractor come to give us an idea about what we can do with the attic. The very least is $10,000. He is going to draw up some ideas and give us a few options. But now it comes down to deciding how committed we are to what we have decided. Do we continue to live the way we have because we believe it is best for our family, or do we change our lifestyle, look for a job for me, or something else? It is time to put our money where our mouth is I guess. ---------- The ducks are officially setting now, at least I think they are. I guesstimate the ducklings will hatch around December 11.

A friend is going through misery with her daughter. Not that the girl is terrible- she isn't on drugs or running around with older guys- but she is causing stress by not following the plans her mother has made out for her. She isn't completing her school work and is looking at failing the ninth grade right now. Her mother has such high hopes for her, and the daughter is letting her future fizzle. It reminded me of God saying He knows the plans He has for us, plans to help and not to harm us. And still we let His plans go unfulfilled. We must stress God out, too. ------- The boys are working on a project about the Renaissance. They are learning about THE Renaissance Man, Leonardo da Vinci. So this week I told them they could either paint a portrait or a Biblical scene. They chose the latter, and #1 is painting his favorite Bible scene, Revelation 12 and 13---DRAGONS! He told #2 that he couldn't copy, so #2 had to pick another battle, of course. Anyway, he chose the scene where Elisha sends his servant out only to report back that they are surrounded by the enemy. Elisha asks that his eyes be opened and he sees that they are also surrounded by God's army. So #2 is painting looking through Elisha's eyes. In one eye is reflected what the regular person saw, and in the other eye is the spiritual scene. I was so amazed I didn't have the heart to tell him that that would not be a Renaissance painting. He is in a whole different realm.

A bird flew through my house last week. It was just a little bird. I actually wouldn't have recognized it, except that it visited the week before and told me its name. It said it was an ugly bird and really shouldn't visit, but it had been seen around and thought it would drop in for a bit. Then it showed up the next week, most unwelcome. I told #5 (who is 3 years old) that it was time for his nap and he told me it wasn't. In a stern, but loving voice, I assured him it was time for his nap and he would be taking one. That's when the bird flew into the bathroom. #5 was going through the routine of potty before the nap, and he wasn't happy about the situation, so he invited the bird to visit me. I was of course stunned, and wouldn't have thought a thing about it except that I now knew that he knew what he was doing. Now tell me when it started that a three year old should know this bird. He learned it from school; kids in an older class-- grades 1-3! ---have been inviting the bird to land at school. He saw it and learned how to call the bird to come when he wanted it. I was so glad that my boys are not in school to learn such things. Then they went Trick or Treating and saw a word written on the road. The fathers tried to move them along, but it had caught their attention. Someone had tried to change the word so it wouldn't be so offensive. Now #2 thinks the word is f-g-i-k. It quite confused his friend when he told him he knew the "f word" was fgik. I was STUNNED that he knew there is an "f word." I am pretty sure I was in high school before I heard that there was another word. That one does seem to be the big one. They know damn and hell, but really they hear those at church. So they know there has to be intent in those words. But the others- that they don't know yet. Ugh. I am sure it will make me vomit when I hear my babies start to use those words. And that bird just better stay away or I will get my butchering knife out!

I turned the heat on yesterday. The weather outside was pleasant, but the nights have been cold enough long enough that the house had gotten cold and wasn't warming up. So I did make it one month without ac or heat, but now the bills start again. But the change in weather has reminded me how little sense my children make. #2 spent the whole summer in long pants. He wore shorts maybe 3 times all summer, and always told me how cold he was. Now that the weather has turned cooler, he wears shorts and complains of the heat! Right now both boys are topless in the other room watching some movie on the computer. My husband wants to know why I'm not more like them! ---------- The new month has me thinking that we are so close to break. "Just hang on! It will be here soon!" I plan on taking December off when I make our school schedule. Not that it is really taken off; that is when we finish up all of the 4-H things and catch up on anything that has fallen behind. It is also a time to clean and clear out, and that is what I am looking forward to. The living room has to be repainted because the paint has peeled. The boys finally knocked some of it off the wall, and so it can't be ignored any longer. Teacher workdays mean a whole different thing when you home school!

I read a blog yesterday that was very emotional. The woman writing is going through morning sickness with an unexpected pregnancy, fires in CA were near her house, her parents are divorcing, and she found out her dad had had this friend for a long time. She was angry, frustrated, and tired. She was taking it out on God. She is feeling like she has been in a deceitful relationship with God, because he didn't protect her from these things. I understand her feelings. When everything starts falling in on me, it is hard not to blame God or just to blow him off. But I just can't imagine leaving God. Yes, I yell at him. I tell him I don't think he is doing his job right. I beg. I cry. But I don't leave or push him away. Even in my times of distress, I know deep down that God is in control and will do what is right. Of course even as I write this I wonder if I am jinxing myself to get some trouble and see if I push him away! ----------- The heat isn't on yet. I looked at the weather for the ten day forecast and we may have to give in on Tuesday night. I wasn't home enough yesterday to notice the heat, or lack thereof. I heard it may snow in Maine today. It isn't nearly that cold here!

I finally heard back from my uncle about the ducks. It seems they will lay about 40 eggs before they start to sit, so I should have been collecting eggs to eat for a while now. I don't know how to go about that now, since they have laid so many I have no way of telling which ones are new. Next time I guess. I did look online to see about buying ducklings for eggs instead of chicks. Ducks are just so much nicer than chickens, especially drakes over roosters. If you get to come back in the next life definitely pick a duck over a hen. Our rooster, Ugly, treats the hens like they are a fly and he is the swatter- quick, fast, and hard. Moe, our drake, is so gentle,slow, and easy- much nicer if you are the female, I am sure. Anyway, I digress. I was unable to get Khaki Campbell ducks at this time of year. They are good egg layers and don't get broody. I have to wait until March. They only hatch them March to October. So I was a little late. But this gives me the winter to figure out how I want to go about the change over. Yes, I remember that I recently said ducks are dirtier than chickens, but the nice thing is winning me over. If I can get a couple of pools to put out in the field I think I can overcome the dirty goat water issue. --------- I took the boys and a friend to see a farm today. They are learning about soil conservation in 4-H this year (#2 and his friend), and I have a friend who is a farm consultant. So we went out to see how no-till works and what other techniques farmers have to save the soil. Then we came back and worked on the presentation they have to give about it. Afterward I took them to see the Bee Movie. It was really cute and funny. Now I am back to make cheese and butter. What a day!

Last night was fun; it always is. I think Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love the dress up and candy. Last night the dads took the kids out and the moms stayed at the house and passed out the candy. That was a first. As we sat there talking about this and that, it came up that there is a 23 year old who doesn't know how to cook or do laundry. It reminded me of when we were in campus ministry and the students were clueless. One didn't know how to make orange juice from a can. All you do is read the directions and add 3 cans of water! Then I started thinking about my own kids. Last week I had #1 make brownies from a mix- not something that happens often here. He put the eggs, oil, and water in the bowl, mixed it up, and declared it done. I looked at him like he had lost his mind. He didn't add the mix in the box! So Iguess my kids will go to college knowing how to cook from scratch, but don't expect them to make a mix.

Another restless night and so I am trying to catch up on my personal things. I can't believe it has been a week since last I blogged! This is the last day of October and I have to say I am glad. It has been such a busy month; I am ready for a little slower schedule. Sunday was our church's Trunk or Treat. We always have fun with it, and the kids look forward to it, too. This year I was a wood elf and served the hot apple cider. Hubby was Jonah and our trunk was decorated as an underwater scene. The kids had to "fish" to get their candy. I have a feeling the winning trunk was the one decorated like a castle. The hosts were dressed as princesses. Jonah just couldn't compete with that when the little girls came around. Yesterday we took the 4-H club to Raleigh to the museums. They took a couple of classes at the science museum, and then after a lunch in the parking lot, we went to the history museum to see a special exhibit on The Lost Colony. We went in August to see the musical, so this was an interesting addition for us. The kids really enjoyed it, and I enjoyed seeing the original pictures drawn of the area. Then, I took my kids and a friend and her kids who were riding with us to the art museum. We have been studying the Rennaisance and I wanted the kids to see some real art from the era, not just internet and book pictures. They actually really enjoyed the art museum! So today the chore will be keeping the kids' minds on schoolwork. After so much fun recently and Halloween to look forward to, they will likely be day dreaming quite a bit. Halloween has become a fun tradition for us here. We go to a friend's house and eat, go out to T-o-T together, and then the kids all trade their candy. This year's feast has been planned by the children to complete a 4-H project book. Should be fun!

It is one of those wonderful mornings when you stay in bed and enjoy being cozy there. The rain fell this time on us! It seems to be dropping at different places around town. You may get a gully washer and a mile away they don't even get a sprinkle. But now it is our turn, and the pattering on the tin roof sounds so nice. For the first time all week I have slept through the night and I feel like doing it again. Perhaps a cup of tea and a warm biscuit would perk me up. I often forget to mention to people that we have ducks. They arrived this past summer from my uncle in CA, and they make so little noise and really don't require work, that I often forget about them. Except that they are very messy; their feathers fall out all over the place and they like to get in the watering tub and get it filthy. Anyway, they have finally reached adulthood and are laying eggs. I am leaving them out there in hopes that they will start to sit soon and give us a new meat source. We have about a dozen eggs so far. They usually lay 10-18 before they set, according to the internet sources. A friend let me borrow her butter churn- she wasn't using it, can you imagine that!- and I have been making butter from the cream I skim off the farmer's milk. The first time we did it, before I borrowed the churn, we shook the cream in a jar. That was hard work and mind numbing- your head shakes with it! So now we have fresh milk, butter, and buttermilk. I will have to try cheese soon.

Is there a difference between honesty and truth? Can I be honest and not quite truthful? If a woman asks me how I like her dress and my response is that's a great color on her- which it is- then have I been dishonest in neglecting to tell her that it is too tight on the hips? I was reading about honesty this morning to prepare for my discussion group tomorrow. The chapter was on honesty and describing how dishonest most Americans are. But I came up with some situations like the one I just described that I am unsure about. Yes, God has commanded us to be truthful in all we do and say, but is holding back to save someone's feelings ok? What if it is more than just a dress? What if it were about an action someone took, that now no longer matters, but might change the way you think of someone? For instance what if someone did something terrible, like sell drugs, but no longer is dealing. Would it be dishonest not to discuss that when you are meeting her parents? Is there some truth that is ok to hold back for just certain people? I am coming to the conclusion that honesty and truthfulness might be situational. But I don't want to tell my kids that just yet!

I awoke at 2:30 with my arm tingling asleep, and just couldn't get back to sleep. My mind started racing with all of the things I should do. Guilt hits me hard in the middle of the night. I start thinking of all of the people I should write or call, the projects that are incomplete, the deadlines that are looming...It all seems so dark in the middle of the night. So here I sit at the computer trying to finish up my work. I did manage to get the bills paid and some work-related issues taken care of. Now I am at the stage of questioning if I just stay up or try to get an hour of sleep in before the kids get up. The owls are hooting outside, looking for a last minute supper I suppose, and cars are starting to pass as commuters head to work. The windows are open at night now that the air is cooling down. I have had a dread lately of the world as I know it coming to an end. Actually I think it already has, I am just now noticing. I was talking with a friend yesterday about the news story that a middle school is now offering condoms and birth control pills, because their 11 year olds are having sex. That is so beyond me. I still played with dolls when I was 11!! I didn't know what sex was and if I had it would not have been something I wanted to experience. I don't think human children have mutated so much in the last 20-30 years that they now are sexually inclined at age 11. My sons have friends that age, granted who are homeschooled, and none of them seem aware that sex is anything other than a question on their testing sheets. If the topic is brought up their response is, "I don't want to know!" So somewhere our society has gone wrong. I am not blaming the public schools; it is just that there is where the public sends all of their kids, and kids will tell what they think and do. So those kids who don't want to know are now in the position of having to know. But what has happened to those who do know and want to know? Media- movies (even children's movies), tv, commercials, magazines, magazine covers in the check-out line, radio, music, billboards- have forced our children to see and hear what they never should have seen or heard. Children naturally imitate the older people around them. This is what they have seen and heard and now they are imitating- and our society is paying the price.

I asked God to come into our presence in a special way today at church. I had no idea that the service was to focus on the presence of God. The song leader asked us, "What would you say if I said God is here in our presence?" It seemed so silly to me, because of course God was there. He had been invited. Then while we were singing an old hymn, the words struck hard at me. "Though the darkness hide Thee..." I couldn't get past that. There is an older gentleman in our congregation that has a wife who is going blind, in fact has gone blind except for seeing light and dark. She was the one who was forced to my mind. It seemed imperative that I pray for her. That even though she may be in the darkness, God has not hidden Himself from her. I was so overcome I had to leave the room. It seemed that I was to pray for her and her husband. While I was praying with all of my being, it just didn't seem to be enough. "Everyone needs to pray," I kept thinking. So I wrote a note to one of the elders and asked him to pray for her. Perhaps God coming into our presence today was for the benefit of Betsy. To hear us beg of Him on her behalf may just be what she needed and what God was listening for. Whatever comes of it, I know God was there and listening. And I was worn out; wrestling in prayer, even for a short time, is exhausting.

Remember I was trying to get old tv shows for my kids? Well the first has arrived, Land of the Lost. It was on Saturday mornings in the 70s. Marshall (the dad), Will, and Holly are on an expedition when a violent earthquake takes them to another world. There are monkey people, mean dinosaurs, and alien type things called sleestak. I remember that it was kind of scary to me as a kid, so I told them I would watch it with them at the start to make sure it doesn't bother them. All they did in the first episode was make fun of me. "You thought this was scary? That looks like playdough!" Ok, the dinosaurs don't look so scary now because of what we are used to seeing at the movies. Then the second episode introduced the sleestak. Now they were jumping in their seats! But then I was the one who had a bad dream last night, so maybe I am just more cowardly than my kids. ------ The rain finally came yesterday and I think it is going to rain more today. We stood at the door and cheered for God- we need it so badly. Last night when I went to feed the frogs were croaking and singing like it was springtime. All of creation was rejoicing!

Our 4-H club went to the NC Zoo on Tuesday. It is a 3 hour drive for us and so we don't go often. We have had zoo memberships in other cities and loved going often, but here we have had to enjoy the whole day at the zoo and hope it lasts for a couple of years. We left the house at 7:30 and got back at 10:00 pm. It was 5 families with children ranging ages 2 to 15. The bear got about 10 feet away from us and I think he was begging for food. The giraffes were standing about 50 feet away eating from trees. And the monkeys, oh, we stayed there for a long time watching their antics. My favorite was when one walked up to another and gently took the other's arm. They looked like they were greeting each other and shaking hands, then suddenly the first one reached down and bit the other in the upper arm. Then off he ran and the other in full chase. They were just like children! Then I got home and hubby told me the fleas were back. He had gotten some stronger fogger this time, so yesterday we stayed out of the house the whole day and hopefully the buggers are gone for good. I think this was the first of the eggs hatching from earlier. It meant we packed up everything and had school at the library, ran errands, had outdoor recess with a friend, and then came home to air the house out for a while before we could come in. So I have had 2 days away from home and today I plan to stay right here!

A friend has a daughter that has moved to a commune. It looks on the website to be a christian commune, and really not much about it raised any concerns for me. In fact, I thought I would enjoy living there but my husband would go nuts. He needs alone time to function. I guess the part that bothered me is that we are to live in the world. It has the feel of a monastery or convent, but allowing families. People that see them living that way must just think, "Stay away from them. They are a cult or a bunch of loonies." I can't imagine that it has helped spread Christianity in their part of the world. -------- I have been paying a little attention to the plight of immigrants in our country. I recently heard a story about a high school senior that isn't a citizen. His parents brought him here illegally when he was 4 years old. Now he has been brought up in the USA, but can't partake as a citizen. Certainly at 4 years of age he had no say in the matter. He has a younger brother that was born here a couple of years ago. The brother will be afforded all of the privileges of citizenship; just doesn't seem fair. Then I heard another story about a man who came here illegally about 15 years ago. His 3 children were born here and all are citizens. He is afraid he will be sent back to Mexico if he is caught driving, but he doesn't want to lose his kids or take them back to Mexico with him. It certainly would be a difficult decision. I don't have an answer.

Recently I was speaking with a new friend and she made an odd comment to me. She was surprised that I am a Christian because I am kind of earthy, granola-crunchy. I told my sister-in-law about it while were on vacation and she was surprised. She is from the Mid-West and Christians there are commonly granola-crunchy people. The difference in the South is that being a Christian is traditional. They aren't often life-changing Christians. Christianity is just something they do, like changing your oil every 3,000 miles or going to Grandma's for Christmas. The first question you are asked in the South is for your name. The second question is where you attend church. It was just in a book I was reading about bread. There was an article on Southern Biscuits and the author was on a plane with other Alabamians who would ask each other where they go to church. I think that makes it extra difficult to attract people to Christ. It is assumed that if you name a church of attendance, then you must go there regularly and be in a "saved" condition. It doesn't so much matter that your speech is smattered with profanity, that you are living with your boyfriend, that you get drunk on the weekends; what matters is that you can answer the second question of the South, "So, where do you go to church?" My husband and I were walking on the beach and a woman stopped to chat with us. The first question was do you have a church. She didn't even bother to get our names. We didn't go into detail about my husband's pastoral position or his education, we didn't even get asked a thing about Christ. As long as we had a church she was happy. I wonder if it wouldn't be easier to be a Christian in the North, where being a Christian means something, even if it is distasteful to many.

Finally cooler weather has come to us. Thursday morning it was about 70 degrees and my children were sitting on the porch with their sweatshirts and sweaters. #2 even had a scarf wrapped around his head. They were contemplating whether or not it would snow! That is how hot it has been lately. ------- The flea situation is greatly improved. We still see a couple a day, but that is bearable. I keep thinking about the Middle Ages when people lived with animals. They had bedbugs, fleas, lice, flies, you name it, all living in their house with them. I do not think I would handle that very well. -------- Yesterday at co-op I spent most of the time with a friend who has a 2 1/2 year old. He wouldn't go to the nursery because he needed to be with his mother so badly. I don't think I would have the energy for that. My kids did that every now and then, but it never lasted more than a couple of days. It reminded me of the time we went to Nashville when the kids were 3 and 1 1/2. We were at a Christian conference and the kids were in child care. #2 was so excited when he saw #1 go to his room and all of the fun he was going to have. But when I took #2 to his class, I was quickly called back to pick him up. He was crying and very upset about being in there. That was so unlike him that I kept him with me the rest of the evening. That night, back at our room, I was telling him tomorrow you will go to your class. I remember I was changing his diaper and he said, "Big kids, please!?" It was his first semi-sentence. So the next day I asked the attendants if we could try it for a little bit and if it didn't work he could go back to the 0-2 years class. They let him stay in the older class and he did better than his big brother! He colored and did arts and crafts, played, listened to books, just had a great time. #1 did fine, but he just wanted to play with cars. Neither one of them cared if I was around after that. Sometimes that was disappointing, like when other people's kids cried for their moms and acted like they couldn't live without them and mine just headed on without even waving good-bye. But really it was such a relief that mine didn't need all of that extra attention and I could go do "Big People Things" now and then.

Well, as I washed all of the things yesterday in hopes of killing fleas and their eggs, the washer stopped working. It won't drain after the rinse cycle and then spin. So I took the water out bucket by bucket and tried again. Still it didn't work, so I drained it bucket by bucket again. Then Hubby and I went to work taking it apart. I had washed pillows and one came open so I thought stuffing might be trapped in it and stopping the drain. Our washer and dryer are in a tight space in the pantry, so I got the joy of climbing in behind them to figure out the problem. Spider webs, lint, and mouse droppings were not adding much to the "joy." There were two screws to get out of the back so that I could pull the hose out and try to drain it and look for fluff. It was dark and shadowy down there and I couldn't tell what type head screwdriver I needed. One screw worked with a Phillips head, but the other wouldn't work with anything. I told Hubby I thought it was a nut and so he handed me a "ratchet" to try and get it off. I kept turning the driver and he kept repeating to me, "It's a ratchet! It's a ratchet!" I at this point am hot and dizzy from standing on my head, and I guess I was beginning to melt down. "I don't know what that means." "It means you turn it." "I AM turning it." "No, you twist it." "I AM twisting it!" "Let me show you." So he proceeds to show me how to turn the screwdriver. It looked like what I had been doing, but he assured me it wasn't. It seems he didn't want me to take my hand off of the handle; it would go faster, he said. Well it seemed to go faster for me just turning and not having someone tell me over and over, "It's a ratchet!" So anyway, I got the screws out (One was filled in, that's why it didn't seem to be any type head.) and drained the washer and did not find a bit of fluff. So I got it put back together and tried it again after church last night. It will drain after the wash, but not after the rinse cycle. Now I have to drain it out again. Ugh. So today I have to call the handy man and see what he says. It is a two year old washer and should not have this problem! So that $50 dog is costing me more money again!! Sometimes I wish I had fleas and could just stay outside.

My second home as a married person was in an apartment complex. I was very vigilant as a new wife and housekeeper. My house was always clean; in fact my grandfather-in-law told me I vacuum too much. So imagine my horror when we started having cockroaches! The neighbors next to us were not at all good housekeepers and the roaches moved in. When the apartment owners would bomb the apartment next to us then all the roaches moved into our apartment. When we left there I said the most important thing in the next home would be no bugs. It has been an issue with me ever since. When I was growing up the only bug problem we had was spiders in the bathtub. I would have my mother look in the tub before I showered and problem solved. Other bug issues are not so easily solved. We bombed the house again yesterday, put Borax on everything, vacuumed, washed, mopped--you name it. I am still washing pillows. Then I have all of the dirty laundry to do, just in case the buggers moved into the hamper while we were bombing the place. So far I haven't had any complaints today, but it may be that everyone is afraid of my flying into a rage if they mention the "f" word---FLEAS!

I am trying hard to fight depression. I seem to be falling farther and farther behind and things are piling up. The house doesn't look a thing like the house I left a week or so ago. I have pulled things apart, while at the same time trying to continue with regular life, and I just can't keep up. I wouldn't be in such despair, except that everyone keeps finding fleas. #2 has bites all over him. I just want to leave or burn down the house or shoot the dog; I don't know. The heat isn't helping things either. I don't want to close up the house and turn on the ac because there is so much poison in the house right now, but it is getting unbearably hot in here. And all of this in the middle of OCTOBER!

I am back after a lovely vacation. We went to the beach for a week to celebrate Hubby's 40th birthday with his family and my parents. My parents were only able to stay a few days, but the rest of us were able to be there the whole week. The weather was great for the first week of October, though I hear it will be even better this week. Wish we could have stayed longer. The wind was a bit high the first few days, so a trip to an island had to be delayed until after my parents left; too bad. We visited a fort that we enjoy, the aquarium, and an island that has wild ponies and is uninhabited by humans. Of course there was just playing at the beach and later seeing sharks in the water we had swam in! Being with our family made it even better. Those cousins love to be with each other! I cleaned the whole house before we left so that I could return, unpack, and be ready to get back into the routine. When we got back, however, the house was full of fleas! So right away we had to bomb the house and leave. Then it was an evening of cleaning and washing and scrubbing the house and dog. We are still dealing with some fleas, but it is much better than it was. A dear, sweet friend told me last night that the eggs will hatch in 2 weeks and I will have to do it again. The dog is fast becoming a disagreeable trial in my life. She is now relegated to the sunroom and outdoors only. If she ends up at the neighbor's house then we will have to get rid of her. ---------- Speaking of great beach weather in October...When my parents got back to WV, my dad had to feed the cows hay, because it is so hot and dry there that the grass hasn't grown enough to feed them. My dad said he believes the environment is changing, because the last several years have been very different than when he was younger. Things better change fast around this world or we are all in trouble.