An Ode to Brothers Punch, kick, hit, bite, beat up Go to the shelter and pick a pup Who can run faster, eat more, pee farther Be your best friend, protector He's not heavy, unless he's sitting on your head Can't go to sleep unless he's in the other bed Shhh, don't tell; secrets for us two Tattle and tattle 'til Mom comes unglued We love to hate each other The fun is in the fight Go through life together Brothers, just right! Today is Brothers' Day in our family. Years ago, after we had had Mother's Day and were having Father's Day, #1 wanted to know when is Brothers' Day? We decided since August doesn't have any big celebrations that we would celebrate Brothers' Day the 4th Sunday of August. We always let the boys choose where to eat and we usually do something fun. This year we took them to a movie- Barnyard. It has a good moral message, but there is one MAJOR flaw in the movie. Bulls are not cows and they DO NOT have udders!!! There are going to be a lot of messed up kids in the world after seeing that movie. I love my boys. They truly are best friends- even if they won't admit it. They play together, work together, conive and contrive together. They want to share experiences. They can't sleep without the other. They talk to each other when they aren't together. They are God's gift to each other- and to us. Happy Brothers' Day!

I really get fed up with technology, mostly because it takes time out of my already busy schedule to have to figure it out. Last night, however, I was happy to have technology. I went to bed, floating into the wavy abyss of sleep after a long day, and at the same time was cooking dinner (crock pot), washing dishes (dishwasher), and washing a load of clothes (machine). At times like that I LOVE technology. No desire for the good old days there. The boys have been enjoying a National Geographic movie called Terror on the Sea: The Legend of Blackbeard. It is really good. I thought it was interesting that there wasn't as much killing and violence as the movies portray. Now #1 has a new fixation: Pirates! As long as we can get away from Pokemon and not turn to girls just yet, I don't care what the fixation is! Working int he garden today. Hubby says I thought you are giving that up. No I just can't bring myself to do it. Stubborn as Millie I guess.

Another Friday at the beach! What a beautiful day it was. The water is a great temperature and the humidity level was acceptable. The boys still love their boogie boards. Daddy went with us since our friends couldn't make it. He has trouble taking days off if he stays home- too close proximity to the to work, so the day off doesn't last long. Of course, now he is off to teach weekend college so it was short lived anyway. #2 had a nightmare last night. He told me this morning that it was about fossil fuels. We had to stop and get gas and they cut off your head if you used fossil fuels. I guess our family has turned into environmentalists all around! The kids have been visiting a PBS web-site that has an ecology game and I think they are getting some info there. I have been told several times this week that it is better to wash the car at a car wash than to do it yourself since the businesses reuse the water. I hate to tell them, but my way is better- let the rain do it!!

It was 60 degrees this morning when I started my walk. It was a very nice walk. I am doing better at adding in the jog. I pray as I go and I find the rhythm of the jog helps the rhythm of the prayer. Nouwen had some interesting things to say about prayer in my reading today. I plan to read it again tomorrow. It was about feeling the needs of others so much that you pray for them as if you were praying for yourself. I can honestly say I don't pray for others as if they were me. Millie went right up on the milk stand today! I am not getting much milk from her, but today it looked like milk so maybe getting her on a schedule will get the milk flowing. Little Elvis is doing well, too. Friends came to see him yesterday and said he looks like a puppy. That's what I think too.

It's a rainy morning and the kids are still in bed. Perhaps yesterday was as exhausting as I felt it was! I am saving Tuesdays for running errands after our geography co-op. That meant yesterday we were gone from 10-5! Hopefully not every Tuesday will be that way. I milked Millie last night and this morning. She wasn't as cantankerous as I expected her to be. Thank goodness. This morning went better as I learned a little trick to get her on the stand- grab her hiney! I guess getting goosed does something for every woman. I'm not getting as much milk as I had hoped, but maybe we will both get better at this with time. I walk/jogged today in the rain. I keep telling myself that if something is important to you, you will make time or find a way to do it. Nouwen talked about it again as he was trying to figure out how he will continue to pray when he gets out of the monastery. Making sure everyone knows your schedule and then not giving in for anything was what his abbot suggested. I guess that is what the blog does for me- makes me accountable, even if just to cyberspace. Another intriguing thought in this morning's reading: A Polish Jew prayed for people in Aushwitz, but when nothing seemed to happen he stopped praying. Then he started again. When asked why he started again, he answered that he felt sorry for God- look at who he was left with. He had compassion for God and a deep relationship with Him to feel what He felt. It reminded me of the prayer I prayed last spring, that God would make me see what He sees and feel what He feels. I didn't particularly like the way it made me feel. I remember getting very tired. I am glad God is big enough to handle the problems of the world, but maybe it would make Him feel less lonesome if we joined in the process.

Here is Elvis when he was first born and then as he first nursed. He caught on right away and is doing great. Yes, Elvis is alive!!!

Yesterday evening a miracle occured. Millie had her baby! She wasn't seeming to be in labor at 5 pm, but by 8 when I went out she had had the baby. It was evidently an easy labor. Poor Millie must be one of those women who gets pregnant all over, because I was sure she was having more than one kid. She certainly looked huge to me! Anyway, there is one kid, brown head white body like his father Clyde. He is in limbo on a name, either Wags or Elvis. I think we will go with Elvis since Wags is cute for a baby, but later may give him a complex. Picture to come later...it is a busy day here.

As I was walking this morning, I noticed a crow on top of one of the new homes. It was cawing loudly to welcome the morning, I suppose. On the other side of the road was a frog slowly gallumphing his "good morning". All around me crickets were chirruping. And while all of that noise surrounded me, I was praying to the Lord. It struck me that He can hear me and all of those critters at the same time. He cares about my issues just as much as the issues of the crow, frog, and cricket. What an amazing God! From The Genessee Diary this morning, the idea that God has more justice and more mercy than we can fathom. He can be just enough to get the message across and merciful enough to not break your spirit. I pray for a fraction of his mercy and justice as I parent these children.

Well the in-laws left this morning, hubby has started teaching weekend college again and is gone, and the boys are at an x-box racing match at the church. So here I am alone, trying to catch up on things. It was certainly great to have the parents here to help accomplish so much- now to keep the momentum going! We did take a break yesterday and go to Fort Macon to play in the ocean for a day. The grandparents gave the boys boogie boards and they had a great time. We couldn't stay as long as they would have liked, but I assured them we will go back soon. I love the beach in August and September. I can finally stand the water temperature! I finished the book, Jesus Land. I think the author lost her faith sometime in her adulthood. Hopefully the Lord will place people in her life who can restore her belief that God is good. It will take a lot of patience and love, for sure. It was a very different read than my usual devotional type literature.

So much has been accomplished this week that it feels like more than a week. My father-in-law got the goat stanchion done and Millie "volunteered" to get in- sort of like people stepping back in line and you are left looking like you stepped forward! I think we gave her so much distress getting into it that she may just go into labor now. The porch railing has been fixed, trim has been painted, yard work done, some gardening accomplished, cupboards washed out, ironing done...See how much better it would be in an intergenerational home? I have figured out that earlier in history people got things done because they lived closer together and didn't have to travel. If they needed help with a project, the others just came over and helped out. Now we write e-mails to people in order to talk to them and they may be hundreds of miles away. Today in my reading Nouwen was talking about not liking manual labor because it became boring. But the head abbot said the other monks like their work, because it gives them a common unity and allows their thoughts to turn to God. I will try to remember that.

I told my mother-in-law last night that if there were two of me I could get so much more done. It was nice to have her here to help. My father-in-law also makes it nice to have two husbands. SO I guess we should go back to living in multi-generational homes. The doctor appt went well today I guess. I was poked and prodded for 3 hours, but they think I am ok. I'll have to wait for the Pap smear to find out for sure. Also had a tetanus shot and I am sore.

I am reading a book called Jesus Land by Julia Scheeres. I picked it up at the library on the new books shelf. I don't normally even look at that shelf, but I was having trouble finding a different book and thought it might be there. It wasn't but this book looked interesting. Interesting it is, but also quite disturbing. It is a memoir of her childhood, especially the teen years in the 1980s, living in Indiana with her Jesus Freak parents. It was all a facade, because a lot of abuse and neglect was going on in that home. When she was 16 or 17 she got into trouble with the law and her father came to pick her up at the police station. She told the cop she didn't want to go home with her father, and the cop told her the 2 choices were her father or jail. She chose jail. You would think that would cause an investigation, but it didn't. My intrigue with the book is that so far Julia hasn't lost her faith. She has rebelled against it, questioned it, but not lost it. She still thinks of God as being a part of the plan for her life, but He doesn't seem as powerful or as interested as I feel Him to be. She still seems to have belief in Him and His power. I am not sure I would. To be told Jesus loves you and you need to be beaten to get rid of the evil within you, seems an evil kind of love.

An olive green plastic book satchel with bright yellow straps sits on the desktop of my childhood memories. I was in second grade and had a new satchel for my school supplies. It was the kind that had metal oval knobs that turn to"lock" the flap closed; we didn't have backpacks back then. I loved the beginning of school; new crayons with sharp tips, fresh paper with no marks, unmarred erasers, even a new set of classic colors markers, of course they were the only colors then, not classic. I waited impatiently to use my supplies. Of course there were new clothes to pick from and I had debated for a couple weeks what would be my first outfit. This was a new school for me. My family moved during the spring of my First Grade and my mother had driven me and my brother to our old school to finish out the year. Now we were living in my father's family home and I was starting on a new adventure surrounded by my family, grandparents included. I didn't know anyone in the school; it was a rural area and I hadn't played with anyone all summer. I was nervous and a little afraid. What if no one talked to me? What if the kids were mean? What if the teacher was a monster?! I sat at a quadrangular table waiting for my fate to be determined by these strangers. A red-headed girl asked my name and introduced herself; Lisa was her name. That was all it took. I had a friend and I settled into my new school as if I were a veteran alum. Lisa became my best friend for many years and my school career was back on track. Children from the New Directions Shelter will likely not have such a great memory. They have left a home of fear and uncertainty only to enter into a new home of different fears and uncertainties. I was surrounded by people who loved me unconditionally and encouraged me to do my best. They are surrounded by women who are struggling to believe that they are themsleves worthy of love and, I imagine, are pushed beyond possibility of encouraging another. Father of All Children, please bless these children with the knowledge that they are loved, even if only by You. Place people beside them who can encourage them and bless them in school and home. Calm their fears, provide for their needs, hear their calls and answer. Amen.

Still struggling, but more and more often overcoming. A friend was telling me about a need for child care- not at all expecting me to do anything about it- and I started trying to find a way in my schedule to solve her problem. I probably could have moved some things around and found a way, but it would have meant a lot of running and stress. Our homeschool group is having trouble getting teachers for this fall. I looked over the schedule and was disappointed with the offerings for my children. I started thinking of what I could do about it and how I could solve this dilemma, but forced myself to realize that it wuld be extremely hard for me to do it. It would cause stress and anxiety that I don't want in my life. I am holding myself back not to kill myself trying to recover the garden. I am trying to admit to myself that although the idea of a garden is wonderful, I just can't seem to do it at this time. I am not quite winning that struggle. My in-laws are coming for a week starting today. That should be a good opportunity to have fun and get work done at the same time. It is good when families get along.

Yesterday was spent in school and then running errands. We were trying to get done in time to go swimming with friends before heading home to more chores. We had not yet completed any errands, but were quite far from home, when #2 says, "Oops. I forgot my shoes again." Now I ask you, how can you walk out of the house, through grass and gravel, and not notice you are barefoot? But this seems to be the case with him. He has forgotten his shoes several times this summer. I was very irritated and told him we did not have time to go back. He would just have to ride in the cart at the stores or stay in the car for things like the bank. Later in the evening I was telling my husband about this and how "HIS" son was constantly forgetting his shoes, but he told me he must be "MY" son because he doesn't go anywhere barefoot, not even in the yard. I suppose I deserved that. I remember my childhood summers being barefoot all day, every day. What fun.

Yesterday evening in Bible class we were asked what God-centered conversations we have had this week. I was unable to answer because, as I sit here and contemplate, I haven't been anywhere since I was at church Sunday morning. I spent Sunday afternoon painting, Monday painting and my new windows arrived (I am now thinking of a conversation I had with one of the window guys, though.), Tuesday and Wednesday I was home with the children. I didn't realize it had been such a while since we had been out, but I enjoyed being home out of the "running mode". I am much more in control of what goes on at home when I am actually at home. We have started school and that means that a lot of my time has to be at home now. However, I have several God-centered discussions with my children. Yesterday was a little eye-opening. We were doing Spelling and #2 has the word Gospel this week. He was to write a couple of sentences about what Jesus has done for him, since Jesus is the Gospel. He was having such a hard time answering that and #1 was disgusted with him. He rattled off 5 things right away that Jesus has done for him. I was impressed with #1 and surprised by #2. Then as I contemplated what the difference might be I realized that #1 thinks all of the time. He often gives me shocks of the deep thoughts he has had, about religious and non-religious topics. But #2 rarely thinks anything through. He is a jump "right in and get dirty" type of child. I will have to remember that as I try to teach him more about Jesus.

From The Genesee Diary: "I'd better start thinking a little more about my attitude toward work. If I have learned anything this week it is that there is a contemplative way of working that is more important for me than praying, reading, or singing. Most people think that you go to the monastery to pray. Well, I prayed more this week than before but also discovered that I have not learned yet to make the work of my hands into a prayer." I often find myself angry or resentful when doing my work. Why am I still working when everyone else is playing, relaxing, whatever? Doesn't anyone see how much I am doing? Why doesn't anyone offer to help? I especially get this attitude toward my husband. But I was wondering what would happen if I saw my work, not as drudgery that I alone must attend to, but as a prayer to God and a gift to my family? Will this change my resentment and anger? So it is my prayer now to work. I am trying to see my work as a gift to those around me. A gift given freely and joyously, not with strings or compulsion. "Be joyful always; pray continually;give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess 5:16-18

There was some kind of equipment failure in my area the last several days and I have been unable to get online. I have wondered if it was a sort of "discipline demonstration" from God. I certainly got more done and realized how much time I spend on the web. I am thinking a timer will have to be employed to keep me honest to my screen time. I had 58 messages this morning and I know that took a lot of time. The heat wave of last week seems to have ended. I lost a chicken and 2 baby bunnies to the heat. I took ice out every couple of hours and did my best to cool them down. I tried to get them to take off their coats, but that had them a bit concerned! I'm just glad I'm not as pregnant as Millie in this heat. Well I have been waiting to write this tidbit from The Genesee Diary for several days. It has stuck with me as I continue to slow down. "When I took a closer look at this I realized that I was caught in a web of strange paradoxes. While complaining about too many demands, I felt uneasy when none were made. While speaking about the burden of letter writing, an empty mailbox made me sad. While fretting about tiring lecture tours, I felt disappointed when there were no invitations. While speaking nostalgically about an empty desk, I feared the day on which that would come true. In short: while desiring to be alone, I was frightened of being left alone. The more I became aware of these paradoxes, the more I started to see how much I had indeed fallen in love with my own compulsions and illusions, and how much I needed to step back and wonder, "Is there a quiet stream underneath the fluctuating affirmations and rejections of my little world? Is there a still point where my life is anchored and from which I can reach out with hope and courage and confidence?" I too have the strange paradox of wanting to be left alone to quiet solitude and yet longing to hear a friendly voice on the phone, of wanting to be asked to speak at functions and yet wondering where I would find the time to write anything, of wanting more children but knowing I am tired keeping up with the ones I have, of desiring a garden but not having the committment level it requires, and so much more. The other tidbit was this: "During the 20 minutes we talked Elias told me practically everything I needed to hear. He told me how the changes in the often rough climate were good- "goo-o-o-d" he said- because they deepened his longing for God. As the storms made him wish for gentle winds, the clouds for sun, dryness for rains, so his heart learned to yearn for God and take nothing for granted. "What is so good about this part of the country," he said, "is that it makes you realize that all good things are gifts of God- when the sun is always shining you forget that it is God's gift, and you don't pay attention anymore." I had always thought of this looking for "something better" as an insult to God, but using it as a reminder of my desire for God, it seems a good thing.

Well, I finished The End of Nature. Finished is a bad term perhaps, since I didn't read a lot of it, but I read the last chapter on what we should do about it. (I have a friend in TX who always reads the last chapter before the rest of the book so she can see if she will like it. I think I would have liked the book, but I don't have time to read the whole thing.) I was taken with the analogy between leaf blowers and slavery. Leaf blowers are an invention to remove the task of raking leaves. We are quite capable of raking leaves, but it requires time and energy- leaf blowers require gas, which releases carbon into the air. We know we don't want to release more carbon, but we also don't want to rake the leaves. His point was that "the abolition of slavery was felt by Southerners to be both right and necessary, but they still opposed it. The economic life of the South was founded on slavery, and the question seemed too difficult to solve. [They needed the work done and the way to complete the work was there, even if it was offensive.] I think the analogy is not ovedrawn: we can engage in newspaper debates about the need for new national energy policies and so on, but our individual, personal economies rely so heavily on the cheap labor provided by oil that change...almost can't be conceived." There are so many things around me that are creature comforts and not requirements, like leaf blowers, though we don't have one of those. I have been making bread and recently was given a bread maker by my in-laws. I have used it twice and both times have thought, "How much energy is it using to have this machine do it for me and shouldn't I do it myself?" I think right now, with a heat wave in full force, it probably equals out, since I would have to run the ac more to cool off the house from having the oven on to bake the bread. But what will I choose this winter, when it would be better to have the oven on? And then there is the whole ac dilemma...This house was not built with ac 60 years ago. Why do I have to have it? Well after several days of being worn out from heat, even while staying inside the ac, I have to say I am willing to put up with the "energy guilt". SO there won't be any major changes coming to my life, but I am trying to think about it, at least. ___________ I started a new book this morning in my devotional reading time. It is about slowing down. I think it will be good. More on that later, I'm sure, but I was actually able to not sign up for something last night at church!

I have read two conflicting, and yet similar, writings in the last day. I thouht it was interesting the way they went together. There is an article in Christianity Today this month about having large families. The writer was stating that she enjoys having a large family for many reasons, but one is the way that it teaches the children to get along with others. They can not be so greedy and thoughtless of others, because they understand their actions affect so many other people. You can't take a long shower because someone else needs the water. I am also reading a book called The End of Nature, an environmentalist's book (here we go again!). And he talks about smaller families being better because of all of the resources a large family uses. But maybe, according to the CT article, if we came from larger families we would realize how we are affecting the world and wouldn't be so careless and selfish about it all. Here is an excerpt from the book: "It's hard to draw a detailed picture- it's so much easier to picture the defiant future, for it is merely the extension of our current longings. I've spent my whole life wanting more, so it's hard for me to imagine "less" in any but a negative way. But that imagination is what counts. Changing the way we think is at the heart of the question. If it ever happens, the actions will follow. For example, to cope with the greenhouse problem, people may need to install more efficient washing machines. But if you buy such a machine and yet continue to feel that it's both your right and your joy to have a big wardrobe, then the essential momentum of our course won't be broken. For big wardrobes imply a world pretty much like our own, where people pile up possessions, and where human desire is the only measure that counts. Even if such a world somehow licks the greenhouse effect, it will still fall in a second for, say, the cornucopia of genetic engineering. On the other hand, you could slash your stock of clothes to a comfortable (or even uncomfortable) minimum and then chip in with your neighbors to buy a more efficient washing machine to which you would lug your dirty laundry. If we reached that point- the point where great closetfuls of clothes seemed slightly absurd, unnatural- then we might have begun to climb down from the tottering perch where we currently cling." It is a difficult view to overcome in a country based on economic growth, individualism, and the pursuit of happiness- meaning more, more, more.

School starts today. #2 just woke up and looked so sad. I asked what is wrong and he said, "It's time for school already and I didn't get to see any tv." I asured him it isn't. The electric went out while we were gone and we haven't set the clocks yet. The boys don't seem too upset about school. They were singing about it last night. The routine will probably be helpful to the discipline problems we have been having. The high school reunion went well. I was surprised by how old everyone else looks. I am sure my husband and I don't look like that!! It certainly made me start to realize just how old I am- not OLD, but growing in age. When I was in Canada my friend said she has had to recognize that her body needs exercise more than it needs more sleep. I have been thinking about that in regards to my time dilemma along with Kelly's "you get done what you really want to do". Still thinking, we'll see what happens.

So my New Year's Resolution was to take life slower and I have often complained here that I can't seem to slow down life. There are so many good things to choose from, and I want my boys to have such good experiences, the best I can provide, and there are so many people I can help, and...And the year is halfway gone. I had a really good idea for the homeschool group I am in, and asked permission to start it. The idea would require little of me and so I was prepared to jump headfirst into it. But something inside has continued to stop me. Today my reading was about a simpler life. Knowing how to say yes and no. Being in God's Presence even amid the hustle of life; I know that I get more tense and stressed and away from the Presence the more I endeavor to do. The question Thomas Kelly put out was, "Do you really want to be in the Presence? Do you really want to slow down? Because you can always make time and a way for what you really want." Boy did that hit hard! So I have definitely decided to wait until next semester to think about starting the new program. Perhaps having the extra children a little less, as the youngest starts school this winter, will allow me a little more breathing space. Being done with the big 4-H trip will help, too. My husband suggested only doing music one semester and art the next, instead of trying a year of both. I will learn how to slow down, even if it is slowly.

An excerpt from A Testament of Devotion: "And an immediate corollary to this is the weakening of the merely calculated, rationally planned decisions. When we lived in the one-dimensional time-ribbon we had to think life out all by ourselves. The past had to be read cautiously, the future had to be planned with care. Nothing was to be undertaken unless the calculations showed that success was to be expected. No blind living, no marching boldly into the dark, no noble but ungrounded ventures of faith. We must be rational, sensible,intelligent, shrewd. But then comes the reality of the Presence, and the Now-Eternal is found to underlie and generate all time-temporals. And a life of amazing, victorious faith-living sets in. Not with rattle and clatter of hammers, not with strained eyebrows and tense muscles but in peace and power and confidence we work upon such apparently hopeless tasks as the elimination of war from society, and set out toward world-brotherhood and interracial-fraternity in a world where all the calculated chances of success are very meager." I hope Condoleeza Rice knows about this.

I don't want to be an environmentalist. They dress weird, cause economic trouble, have a superior attitude and a doomsday aura, and they hug trees. But as time goes on I realize I am an environmentalist. I don't want to eat foods grown with chemicals or that have been genetically engineered to travel well and look pretty on a shelf. I don't want my children to go through puberty early because the cows have been fed steroids. I want my meat to actually be meat only. I want to breathe deeply of clean, fresh air. I want my grandchildren to have a good, green Earth. I read a good article in the August 2006 National Geographic called "A Deeper Shade of Green". It is written by, YIKES!, an environmentalist. He talks about carbon fuels being what enables a country to grow economically, but also being what causes global warming and pollution. What if we were to rethink our ideals? What if we lived in smaller homes, drove less, and ate local foods? Environmentalism has to "transform itself into something so different that the old name really won't apply. It has to be about a new kind of culture, not a new kind of filter; it has to pay as much attention to preachers and sociologists as it does to scientists; it has to care as much about the carrot in the farmers market as it does about the caribou on the Arctic tundra. That's what the printouts on atmospheric concentrations tell us, and it's a message echoed by the researchers studying happiness and satisfaction. We don't need a slightly rejiggered version of the world we now inhabit; we need to start working on changes on the scale of the problems we face." So what am I doing about it? I am trying to grow food with compost. I recycle as much as possible and try to buy only what I need. I raise chickens. I hope to milk goats. I make my own bread. I try to reserve my driving for one day. I hang laundry on the line and only mow the grass when you can't walk through it anymore. I guess I have become an environmentalist, but I refuse to dress weird!

I was told yesterday at church that the boys and I look like zombies. I said you would too if you had been through what we had. It was a wonderful vacation, but very full and lots of late nights visiting. Then the boys were sick and then when we got back we had to go again! The 4H club met at a lake in Raleigh and spent Friday. It was a lot of fun with lots of floating toys, pedal boats, and a huge slide called The Beast. After that the boys went to a sleepover for a friend's birthday. So by the time Sunday came we were pooped! I went shopping yesterday for a dress for hubby's 20 year high school reunion. I found a cute little black number with some black heels. Hubby said they'll wonder what kind of preacher's wife I am! As it only took 2 hours from leaving the house to being back I felt like the shopping went well. Shopping is not my favorite pasttime. Today we stay home to get caught up on lots of things. I picked my pumpkins yesterday since some bug is ruining them, so today I cook/can pumpkin. I also have to pay bills and make sure everything is ok in the money dept. A friend is coming to play with the boys. And I may try to hang laundry between rain drops. At least it is raining, there wasn't any while we were gone for 10 days! When all of that is done I will sit down and figure out how to slow down my life this year.

Here are some more thoughts about Canada. It looks very American; Wal-Mart, McDonald's, Toys-R-Us, same gas stations, even 7-11! Other things do not look American: speed limit 100 (km per hour), QEW (Queen's Express Way), flowers, flowers everywhere. Evidently it upsets Canadians to have someone suggest they are another America, but they don't have much an identity of their own. They are doing a great job trying to eliminate waste. Packaging of products is less. Milk comes in plastic bags. Food and paper are composted by the city. Recycle everything you can! You are given one trash bag per week per family, use it wisely. The letter z is pronounced "zed". It is difficult to find a doctor. They like some strange candy- coffee flavored, ugh. Border crossguards are just doing their job, not very friendly even if you give a happy good morning. They really like, no love, Tim Horton donuts. There is one on every corner! I wonder what their impressions of Americans is? _______________________ Went to breakfast with my husband this morning to a Mennonite restaurant. We were commenting on the women wearing dresses, partly because they are not to wear men's clothing, but partly because they think pants will cause a man to lust. My husband wondered if we should tell them skirts do more for him than slacks!

We made it back yesterday evening. It was a wonderful trip. I thank God for the blessing of safety on the entire trip, hassle-free security and crossings, and absolutely fabulous visits with old friends. We stayed up late so many nights to talk that I need a vacation of napping to catch up on my rest! First we went to Philadelphia. My friend there has nearly grown children and when we met they were in K and 3 grades! I can't believe how old everyone else gets while I stay so young. J.D. has a dog and the boys had fun playing with her. They also enjoyed the hot tub outside in the evenings. We spent the first afternoon looking over the little suburb we lived in when the boys were born. They got to see where the apartment was, the train station, park, their first library...#1 said he would like to live there again. As for tourism we saw: Independence Hall, Liberty Bell, Christ's Church (where Washington, Franklin, and others went to church), Franklin's grave, the mint, Washington Square- a memorial to Revolutionary soldiers, Betsy Ross's house, a museum on Franklin and the Franklin Institute. We ate the local Philly Cheesesteaks (#1 liked them a lot) and water ices and gelattis (which everyone loved). We left there to go to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island for a morning. Highlights there were riding the ferry across the harbor, going up in the pedastal of Lady Liberty to "look up her dress" ( you can no longer go all of the way up in her), and imagining what it would be like to arrive as an immigrant at Ellis Island. One account of a Russian was that they only knew uniforms as something to fear and they did not speak the language. So when they arrived to uniformed doctors, train attendants, workers, police, etc. they feared everyone and wondered what they had gotten into. We looked for family names on the wall, and found some common surnames, but our people have been here since the Revolutionary War so we don't imagine being related to them. Then we moved on to Canada. That was all in one day- leave Philly, go to Liberty Island, drive to Canada- a long day to be sure. We had no trouble crossing the border and very little trouble finding our friends. MapQuest is great! My friends have 2 more children since last we met and the first 2 are quite grown up, so we had a lot of catching up to do. The kids hit it off right away and that made the visit even more enjoyable. #2 had planned to pack his snow boots for Canada, but was glad he didn't when it was a heat index of 112 degrees! Highlights were: Niagara Falls and riding the Maid of the Mist (which is much more a rainstorm than a mist!), watching huge ships go through the Welland Canal lock and dam, and riding an antique carousel for 5 cents a ride. Yes, I said 5 cents a ride! We even got to go put our feet in Lake Ontario. Very Cold! We wanted to do Canadian things as we had done Philadelphia things so my friend introduced us to the culture too. They eat fries from stands like we get ice cream or hot dogs, she sent home their candies which we will try today as a family, and maple syrup. Canada is the world's largest producer of maple syrup. Then we dropped by WV to see the grandparents and then headed home. Both boys picked up a bug on the way home so I guess they were vacationed out. They were able to tell the grandparents a lot of what they did and learned, as well as the fun they had, so I think it was a great vacation and experience. Now back to work getting this place in shape!

I am preparing to leave town for an extended trip of site-seeing and friendship renewal. The boys and I are leaving tomorrow for Philadelphia and then on to Canada. I know that I am excited for the boys to see where they were born and to look at some very important historical and national landmarks, but I am also excited to see my friends. They are the kind of friends that you can not see for many years and then just pick up again as if no time has passed. God has blessed me with many of those friendships. Yesterday I went to a homeschool conference and then hubby and I went on a date. A friend babysat for us. We will exchange the babysitting next month when she celebrates a wedding anniversary. I have a feeling she will be one of those pick-up friends. --------- Joke from the movie A Prairie Home Companion: Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes! I also liked:Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken! I recommend the movie as a blend of humor, tenderness, friendship, and family.

It is amazing to me that a guy in 1941 was writing about the fevered pace of life in America! That was what my devotional reading in Thomas Kelly's book was today. Boy do I ever feel it, too!!! I am trying to get everything done so I can leave town for a while and it is running me into the ground. I am wondering if the trip is going to be worth it. I have been in the garden a lot lately in the mornings, thus the fewer blog posts. Today was a much cooler/lower humidity day. I was able to finish the hoeing and spread lime and fertilizer. I gave in to the fertilizer. I was trying so hard to raise a garden without anything but organics, but I don't have enough compost built up. At least I am not spraying any chemicals. Then I planted more corn, beans, squash, zucchini, and carrots. I am hoping by the time I get back they will be up and I can give them a good start. I think the fall garden here may be more successful. Right now I have cucumbers and pumpkins out the wazoo. The pumpkins are nearly ready- I don'tknow how that happened- so when I get back I guess I will be picking pumpkins. Goldie is not going to hatch any chicks this time. The nest was too small for her and the eggs didn't get incubated properly. Boy do they stink!! Maybe I will try again in August if she is still broody. I also limed the goat pasture a bit today so maybe the grass will improve. I spread turf builder earlier this week. Then tonight I helped at the shelter. The stories and circumstances are awful. Thank you God for a husband who treats me with love, care, and compassion. Please watch over Tammy, Betty, and the others. Then it was on to internet searches and making grain and honey orders. Now I have packed up curriculum for a conference tomorrow and have even arranged for babysitting. So after the conference I get a date with my loving husband- before I leave him for 10 days! I wonder if that is what the fevered pace was 65 years ago- or is it worse?

I remember 4th of July as a kid. I have a lot of cousins and my grandparents had a large farm. We would meet for a picnic that had LOTS of food: watermelon, hotdogs, corn, baked beans, potatoe salad, cake, popsicles...I don't know how much the kids ever ate because we played so much. There were softball games and kickball, hide-and-seek, climbing the crabapple tree, walking to the pond, and anything else we thought fun at the moment. Then we stayed out late while the parents talked. We played with sparklers and caught lightning bugs. It was great. This year we had a cookout at our house with some friends and people from church. I think I can say the same for my kids: I don't know how much they ate, but they had fun playing. Then we went to the Town Commons and watched the fireworks show. We had glow sticks for the kids before the fireworks and that kept them very entertained. I loved the 4 year old's thoughts on fireworks, "WOW! It's a miracle!" Last year Hubby and I went to the WV State Fair and saw a production of Prairie Home Companion. During intermission Garrison Keillor walked through the stands and had us sing songs as a group. Monday night as we finished watching the video of Masterpiece Performances, GK did the same with that crowd. Meryl Streep was one of the guests and she was in tears before it was over. From experience I can say, it is difficult to sing America the Beautiful in a large crowd without being in tears. You have no common bond with these people, except the bond of citizenship, and it is enough to unite you. May God shed His grace on us all. Happy Birthday, America.

I took the boys swimming yesterday for the first time this summer. We took a couple of girls from church with us and they had a blast. I love listening to my kids when they use their imaginations. They were being different ocean animals and "it" was the Killer Whale trying to catch them. When I was finally able to get into the water (I like my water really warm or it takes a while to get in) I was the whale. I said I didn't think it was very nice to call your mama a whale! Then we came home and the kids played for a while. They like going through the corn field next to us and playing hide and seek. I remember doing that when I was a kid and it is a very fun game-there is just enough "lostness" involved that you can scare yourself, and that is part of the fun. Afterward we went to Sunday in the Park and listened to some good music. Then, Surprise, Surprise, Masterpiece Theater was having a live broadcast of Prairie Home Companion! It was a very happy day. ____________________ I am excited about the possibilities of serving the women at the Violence Shelter in more ways. We had a meeting yesterday and came up with some good ideas. More people will be able to be involved now and this ministry can truly feel like it belongs to the whole church, not just a few ladies. May Jesus flow through our actions into the lives of these women and children.

My parents left about 11:30 this morning, only staying long enough to do the work and move on. I think my mother would have been happy to stay longer, but dad felt like he needed to get back. "I have a lot to do at home!" I know the feeling, but sometimes you just have to stop and visit. I guess he did that a bit when the boys went up to visit, though. We finished the fence at 10:15 this morning. My husband and Dad worked on it Thursday and Friday, and Dad and I finished it up this morning. It is a woven wire fence and surrounds about an acre. Dad says if we fertilize and lime the pasture and get it built up we could support 7 nannies and their young on that. I don't know if we want to get into it that much or not. The 2 kids are cute and Millie seems to be starting to accept them and want their company, but she might have been as happy to remain the only goat. I wonder what will happen when the kids arrive in a few months! Mom spent her time sewing covers for cushions on the porch and cleaning my house. Yesterday I took her to New Bern to pick blueberries. We picked 28 pounds! There is just nothing like fresh, fat blueberries. We ate a lot yesterday and have some still for eating, but most have been put in the freezer. I will have to pick again when they are ripe here so I can take some to my father-in-law. He was very put out that he missed the picking this year.

My parents are here for a visit. They arrived yesterday evening with a truckful of furniture, fencing, and livestock. We now have another rabbit and 2 more goats. The kids are 2 and 3 months old and are doing fair. The older one is fine, but the younger is not wanting to eat. #5 says she is sad and I think he is right. The rabbit has been put to work and I imagine we will have 2 litters of rabbits in about a month. Now hubby has to build another rabbit hutch. He loves me so much!

Yesterday I put the two boys to work "spring cleaning" the livingroom, which meant they had to vacuum the furniture and wash the baseboards. It was completed in a very short amount of time so I went in to check their work. There was still quite a bit of dust on the baseboards and so I showed again how to wash them properly. Then I looked under the cushions of the couch. "#2 come here please," I summoned. "There is still dirt here that needs vacuumed." And with a very straight face and honest voice he answered, "That was already there." Well what did he think I was asking him to do? I guess he thought I wanted him to vacuum the dirt that isn't yet there! ____________ Last week #1 asked to get a newspaper so he could look in the help wanted section for a job. I told him they don't have jobs for 9 year olds. He wanted to know why not and I tried to explain the reasoning behind child labor laws. He replied,"But what about my rights to get a job!?" I just hope he feels that way when he is 16.

I'm reading A Testament of Devotion by Thomas Kelly now. I have only been at it a couple of days, but here are some bits that have inspired me. "...In this humanistic age we suppose man is the initiator and God is the responder. But the Living Christ within us is the initiator and we are the responders. God, the Lover, the Accuser, the Revealer of Light and Darkness presses within us. "Behold I stand at the door and knock." And all our apparent initiative is already a response, a testimonial to His secret presence and working within us." In speaking of keeping God always present in our hearts and minds...."But the hunger of the committed one is for unbroken communion and adoration, and we may be sure He longs for us to find it and supplements our weakness. For our quest is of His initiation, and is carried forward in His tender power and completed by His grace. The first signs of simultaneity are given when at the moment of recovery from a period of forgetting there is a certain sense that we have not completely forgotten Him. It is as though we are only coming back into a state of vividness which had endured in dim and tenuous form throughout. What takes place now is not reinstatement of a broken prayer but return to liveliness of that which had endured, but mildly. ...Again, it is like waking from sleep yet knowing, not by inference but by immediate awareness, that we have lived even while we were asleep. For sole preoccupation with the world is sleep, but immersion in Him is life." "Such men (ones who keep God always present) are not found merely among the canonized Saints of the Church. They are the John Woolmans of today. They are house wives and hand workers, plumbers and teachers, learned and unlettered, black and white, poor and perchance even rich. They exist, and happy is the church that contains them. They may not be known widely, nor serve on boards of trustees, nor preach in pulpits. Where pride in one's learning is found, there they are not. For they do not confuse aquaintance with theology and church history with commitment and the life lived in the secret sanctuary. Cleaving simply through forms and externals, they dwell in immediacy with Him who is the abiding Light behind all changing forms, really nullifying much of the external trappings of religion. They have found the secret of the Nazarene, and, not content to assent to it intellectually, they have committed themselves to it in action, and walk in newness of life in the vast fellowship of unceasing prayer."

It was a restful weekend. I was feeling a bit anemic this weekend and was forced to rest. I tried to work in-between fits of fatigue, but I can't say that I accomplished much. Mostly I just lay in a dark room and either slept or stared into the darkness. Last night I was mopping the floor at 10:00 pm so that it would look like I had done something. Then, this morning, as I had my devotional time, I noticed that I was able to focus much more than I had been able to the last couple of weeks. I guess I needed that restful time deep inside of me. _________ #1 and #2 go to Goat Camp this week. Sounds interesting, huh? They go every afternoon for a week and learn how to care for a goat and how to show a goat. Their own goats should arrive within the next 2 weeks. Millie is mine I guess and so I suppose will be the babies, although I promised one to the owner of Millie's affections, Clyde.

Finished another book, The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. I think I would have liked to know Brother Lawrence to see if he really was as humble and holy as he was portrayed. He seemed to be especially interested in suffering and asked God to make him suffer. I disagree with his premise that it is God who makes us suffer and that he does it for our own good. I think we suffer because of poor choices and an imperfect world. For instance, my boys both wish they hadn't gone to the beach last weekend because now they are suffering with cracked, itchy, peeling skin and the cream burns. Actually, if they (and I) had made a better decision to put shirts on them, then they would be happy about having gone to the beach and would likely not be suffering. I don't think God is making them suffer so that they can become closer to Him. _________ Two evenings ago at dinner #2 looked out the dining room window and asked what's that? Then he got up to walk over and look out. I thought he was looking out at the construction that is going on over on the other side of the corn field. NO! He was looking at a snake that had crawled up the wall and was looking in at us! That was met by pleas to keep it as a pet. The pleas were met with a very definite, "Never in my life or yours!"

I made packets of workbook pages for each boy to work on through the summer. So far it isn't going too well. My thought was to keep their brains working a bit so we don't have to make up too much when we start up again in the fall. I have seemed too busy to keep up with it though, and to tell the truth, I am not sure they need it. They both ask often to go to the library and they pick out good books. Right now #2 is reading about the ancient Egyptians, pyramids, and how to make Egyptian beer. He plans to make some for a 4-H meeting and let the others try it. Then there is the book of poetry he has been working through...Edgar Allen Poe's classics. He also decided he wants to have a lemonade stand, so he has made a few preparations for that. That idea lead #1 to think he wants to sell cookies to raise money for 4-H, so yesterday he made them and cleaned up the kitchen mostly by himself. They both helped with dinner. And of course there are the trips, camps, museums, park days... I guess I am an "unschooler" at heart. #2 is writing a newspaper too. He is the astrologist and has been coming up with ideas for our horoscopes. #2 wanted to be a journalist as well so he is a "girlologist". He is studying how weird girls are. I have been told, however, that moms aren't girls and girls are only weird until they are about 20, sometimes 18. We'll see how long that thought survives!

Well, #1 made it out of the house yesterday. He went to Nature Day Camp through the 4-H and had a great time. 3 others from our club were also there so he perked up pretty fast. Tomorrow is camp for #2. It involves a few crafts so #1 said no way, not even to be with friends. #1 told me he likes that he is getting better. "I like experiencing God's miracles." he said. He also told me that first night he felt God blowing on his back for a little while. I had been in my room praying that God would place his hands on #1's back. Thank you God. ______________ I have had 3 visits with friends in a week and then last night I got to visit with another friend at church. It is good to be surrounded by friends. I could have spent that time working and catching up, but friends are definitely much more a priority. There are many days I couldn't get through if it weren't for friendship. ______________ Finished reading a good book this week, My Folks Don't Want Me To Talk About Slavery. It is a collection of interviews in 1937 with former slaves from NC. A few patterns emerged that I noticed. Slaves east of Wake County seemed to be treated more humanely. During 1937 the Great Depression was going on and several of them said it was better during slavery- that so much reminded me of Hebrews and Egypt. I also noticed how little thought was put into helping the slaves after the war. Today a lot of thought was put into the aftermath of Germany and Iraq...the slaves were left with nothing to do and nowhere to go. One said it was a two headed snake that pointed north and south. No matter which way they went, they got bitten.

We used to live in Abilene, Texas, which is considered the beginning of West Texas. I remember one summer people complaining about the humidity. It was something like 12% with temperatures around 105 degrees. Certainly that is hot, but if they could feel this they wouldn't complain. It is 82 degrees now, but 94% humidity. You can see the moisture in the air. That is HOT worth complaining about! It is still only 78 degrees inside, but I think the air conditioning will be put on this afternoon. ____________________ My dermatology appointment went well yesterday. I do not have cancer and what I have does not normally lead to cancer. A definite relief after losing 2 friends to cancer last year. The doctor was nice and spent time with me chit-chatting. He asked what I do and I said I am a stay-at-home mom. It took him several times to figure out what I was saying, but then he asked, "Oh, do you homeschool?" I asked, "Why? Do I look like it?" I thought maybe I had a deranged look about me. I knew it wasn't the uniform because I didn't have on my blue denim jumper and matching children tagging along behind. (Not that I have a jumper...) Anyway, I thought about my answer later that evening and thought of all of the other jobs that might have thrown him off. I am a photographer, cook, baker, housekeeper, children's minister, gardener, lawn care worker, day care provider, nurse, guidance counselor, tour guide, activities director, drill sergeant, teacher, accountant, secretary, phone operator, and so much more. I think the ones that would have thrown him off the most though are rabbit rancher, chicken farmer, and goatherd. Maybe I'll try that next time.

#1 has decided to stay home again today instead of going to fishing day camp. He is still covered with a couple blisters, but he is drastically improved. I gave him an oatmeal bath last night and it realy seemed to soothe the skin. We tried to pop a blister and it was one of the worse things I have had to do as a mother. He was so afraid and his Dad had to hold him down. He screamed and begged us not to do it. Oh I could have cried. As soon as it was over though he said, "Well that didn't hurt at all." We'll see if he wants to go to camp tomorrow. Oddly enough I have a dermatological appointment today. Perhaps I should take #1 with me. _______ An update on the animals. Goldie is sitting on eggs again. She has been setting for a long time but not on any eggs. I tried to move her to the goat pen where she raised them last time, but she just got mad and broke all of the eggs. I put her in a rabbit hutch next and she seems to have settled there. They should hatch around July 18th. Millie is fairly definitely pregnant. She appears to be getting a little milk sack. I have been trying to get her used to be touched so we can milk her. She will let me touch the under side of her stomach now, but no luck with the udder. Maybe she is a modest girl. We are planning to got o the stock sale tomorrow and see what it is like to sell rabbits and chickens. We thought the boys could start doing that and make a little money. That would also eliminate some of the butchering that #1 especially doesn't like. But right now there is a rooster that is about to get his crowing head chopped off!

It's official, I am a bad mother. We went to the beach on Saturday with a group from church. I was very responsible and slathered everyone with sunscreen. My husband is very sensitive to the sun so I know to keep my eye on him. However, I was not as careful in my watch over #1 and he is burned very, very badly. He had a great time playing in the ocean and someone loaned him a boogie board, so we didn't see much of him for the whole day. About 3 or so I put a shirt on him, but it was too little too late. We stayed home yesterday and let him just lie around. Last night he was in tears because he couldn't lie down. It was the most pathetic thing to hear, "Mommy, do you think I can sleep with you...or am I too big?" No matter how old or big he gets, he will never be too big when he is hurting. He is still my baby. _______ I know why seeing how close you can get to a car is called "playing chicken". I always thought it was because you tried to see who would be the most scared and therefore be the "chicken". After mowing the grass yesterday and nearly running over the stupid things time and time again, I know that it is because chickens are stupid enough to let you do that. So playing chicken doesn't have anything to do with being the most scared but with being the stupidest.

Talked to the grandmother the other night and she retold this: While they were watching the kids at the pool one day #1 played with several other children. He had a good time diving after money that another boy's father was throwing in to them. There was also a girl playing with them at times. When it was time to go, #1 got out and dried off. Then the girl came running up to him and asked something. #1 replied, "No, I'm leaving now." #2 asked #1, "What's her name?" "I don't know." "Do you like her?" #2 continued. "You've been reading too much Calvin and Hobbes!" #1 responded. And there is a comic of Hobbes pestering Calvin about a girl. _____________________ I opened up more windows last night and put in the screens. I still have to take out storm windows and put in screens- hopefully that will change soon. Anyway, it is nice and cool in here and there is a nice breeze coming in the front room here while I type. People built houses so much better years ago than they do now. This one is placed so the sun stays out of the kitchen and the front porch shades a lot of the front of the house. The plaster and brick keep it cool so much longer than other materials would. We haven't used the ac yet, in NC! Perhaps a lot of the energy crisis could be helped if houses were built like they used to be!

I got busy in the garden yesterday and didn't make it to my journaling. It can get pretty muggy here in the afternoons and I needed to get the pumpkins pruned back; that meant wearing long sleeves and pants. I planted several pumpkin plants this year from last year's seed. I didn't expect it to go well since they didn't do well last year and the seed had been on the barn floor the rest of the year. To my pleasure and shock, they have done really well. The watermelon as well, so we should have some good eating this year. Sunday evening I took the boys to Sunday in the Park. It is a program the city sponsors in June and July. Different genre bands come to the town commons and play for an hour. People come sit on blankets or lawn chairs and eat and listen. The children all run around and play in the land bowl in front of the amphitheater. It is very Norman Rockwellian. I was surprised to find out last year that the evenings are cool here in June and July and it is a pleasant time. Having just come from Texas I was not expecting it to be enjoyable. The bad part about the weather here is the Hurricane Season. We have been blessed not to have bad times since we have been here, but it does rain a lot. The land is low and doesn't drain well, so we have wet yards. Makes it hard to dry the laundry too. I guess I'll be using the dryer today.

My sons are back! They have been missed by parents and friends alike. We got them in VA on Friday and stayed there for a conference, so that they didn't get home until Saturday evening. Each appears to have grown 2 inches, but I still put them on my lap. They seemed very glad to get home, to see their animals, play with their toys, be in their own space. They had a great time, but now it is Boot Camp- time to get back to normal and not be spoiled by grandparents. #1 told me last night that he knew their diet would have to change now that they are home. Today is a 4H meeting to learn about Washington, D.C. I don't know how much they are looking forward to learning but they are definitely looking forward to seeing their friends. The grandparents tried to do some educational things with them in WV- BUT FUN THINGS- and the response was always, "We're on vacation! We don't have to learn anything!" Boy are they in for a shock.

Dear God, I have a wonderful life. You have blessed me beyond belief. I thank you for the physical blessings of my home, land, vehicles, vacations, food, garden, clothing, job. I thank you for the social blessings of family and friends. I thank you for the spiritual blessings of church, scripture, prayer. I thank you for the blessings of freedom, to worship and live as I please. I thank you for answered prayers and for prayers that you answered by not giving me what I asked for but what I needed. There have been times Lord when I have not had such an easy life. I know that I grew during those times. My relationship with you became closer and tighter because the situation was beyond me. My marriage became stronger because we depended on you. Our children learned you are in control of all things, because we had no control. Those difficult times made me grow and become a better person. I have to admit, Lord, that this time of blessing is to me a reward. I feel like I deserve it for having stuck with you through so much. I know that I don't deserve anything you give me, that I am NOT holy as you are holy. Heaven is not reward enough for me in my life of the here and now. I will gladly follow wherever you ask or lead, but inwardly I want an earthly reward for doing so. I am selfish and conceited. Please accept my apology and forgive me. I love you and gladly serve you.

There is nothing new under the sun; so says Ecclesiastes. Yesterday my husband and I were able to get away for a few hours. We went to the town of Bath, NC. It is the oldest town, est. 1705. They have tried hard to make it a tourist attraction, putting up historical markers of things that might have been, but really it is just a quaint old town. Then we went to Washington and walked along the boardwalk through the wetlands. We had a nice dinner and came on home to finish up work and projects. Today I was reading James and noticed again in chapter 3 the discussion of taming animals, even sea creatures. I guess they had a SeaWorld even in ancient times. Then I read some more of Brother Lawrence, from the 1600s. He dealt with physical ailments and sins, just like I do. He went about his daily work, trying to discover God in all he did. 2,000 years ago, 400 years ago, 300 years ago, today...we are all still doing the same things. Work, family, suffering, sins, enjoying friends and family, taming the world and all that is in it, trying to find God...nothing is new under the sun.

Checking in a bit late today. I had the joy of a morning with no time demands and stayed in bed longer than usual. It was good to sleep until I wanted to get up. I enjoyed this tidbit this morning in my Brother Lawrence readings..."In God we will see more clearly what we lack than we could in ourselves by all our introspection. In reality, introspection is but the remnant of unexpelled self-love, which, under the guise of zeal for our own perfection, keeps our eyes down on self instead of up to God." As I read that, I thought how many people would be out of work in America if we just had that vision. No more Dr. Phil for sure. Then as I turned on the computer to write, MSN had a blurb about the fascination with self-help. I didn't read it, but I don't think this quote will have made it in there.

I finished reading Eat This Book by Eugene Peterson yesterday. I did enjoy reading it and learned some good things, but I took so long to read it that I can't truly remember many details. Being on the road so much lately has taken me out of my habits- prayer and reading when I first wake. Today I started reading Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. The part I read today looks like it will be an easy read (comprehension) so I may remember it better. Also my traveling days are done for a while. I go to get the boys Friday and return Saturday; so maybe then my traveling days will be done! My husband and I are going to a homeschool conference in Richmond that weekend and the grandparents are bringing the boys to us there. I am happy that hubby is interested in going to the conference. He has taken a more proactive role in schooling this past year. This coming school year he is planning to teach Greek to #1. #1 turns 10 this year so there will be several new things for him to encounter. We try to make stages in life for the boys to have something to look forward to as they grow. When they are 10 they are allowed to watch PG movies. They have seen some PG, but we always check it out first and then watch it with them. Which means they have to wait until we have the time to watch it. When they are 10 they can watch PG after we check it out, but we don't have to be present. Other 10 year old rewards and responsibilities are: no bed time, sit where you want in church, attend things with Dad like mens' retreats, but also a lot more work and the school work gets more demanding. Of course all of those things depend on how he reacts to them. If he can't handle the rewards they will be taken away- we are expecting to have issues with the bed time thing, he is such a night owl.

I have changed the time on my settings. I was being thought of more highly than one ought. I am not normally up in the middle of the night writing. I know you are all disappointed, but I do actually sleep. I hope I did it right.

Matt had a good lesson on favoritism today. I know this isn't where he was going, but it came into my head and I have thought it before several times. I have been praying for more children at our church, but what if that isn't what God is intending for our congregation? We don't get to choose who is in the church- God does, thus the lesson- but what if our church is to be one of poor people, people who haven't had a past with God, older people, unstable people, DIFFERENT people. How will that shape the way our congregation interacts with those inside and outside our group? How will that affect the way we are treated within our traditional background? How will that???? I can see so many positive ways that our world can be affected if God blesses our congregation in that way. It certainly is the way God displayed his wishes through Jesus. But it could be really uncomfortable. It could be really transforming. It could be really dangerous. It could be really fabulous. It could be really discouraging. It could be really awesome. It could really be only God.

I think my babies are starting to get homesick. I am starting to get phone calls "just to check in". Yesterday, the 7 year old had to call and tell me about his "plans". He had Pap write down a list for him of all of the things he needs for his plans. Included on the list were stink bombs, cigar lighter, and screwdriver, among other things. Then when we go to DC this fall with 4H, he and several other boys are going to crawl through the vents and let off stink bombs in the girls' rooms. Completely boy! Today we had a yard sale to raise money for the DC trip. The rain came down and the floods came up, but the sale did fine. We certainly would have done better with some sunshine, but we did well considering. Of course there is the new way to have a yard sale- on-line - so we may still make some more money. I am not sure how much we made and how much we actually sold to ourselves, but it was fun. I was very pleased with the way the kids tried to help, walked customers to their cars with umbrellas, helped with the bake sale...They are great kids.

I was washing eggs again today. I have 16 hens that lay and so I spend a lot of time washing eggs- they don't come out clean like at the store. Last week as I was washing I had this thought. The chickens I have lay eggs of many colors and shades. They have bumps and deposits, and are often odd shaped. Some eggs are really large and others are small. They are not at all like store eggs- all the same size, shape, and color without any blemishes. But inside- Boy what a difference! My eggs have brilliantly colored yolks. They taste stronger and have a meatier texture to them. They taste great and fill you up. They do have some blemishes inside, but it goes unnoticed because of the flavor. Store eggs on the inside look bland and taste the same. I saw some devilled store eggs a couple weeks ago and I was surprised by their palor. It takes more store eggs to fill me up than it does farm eggs. As I thought about this, I also thought about Hollywood. It seems the people there all look the same- size, shape, and color without any blemishes. And it also seems that when you crack those people open you often find their insides to be bland and tasteless, without much substance. The people I know, on the other hand, are many shapes, sizes and shades. They are full of life inside and out. When you crack them open personality and intrigue spill out, as well as some dark spots. But their taste is so much better for it. I guess I like my friends to be "organic free range friends" instead of factory processed.

Today I get back into the routine of life. The children I take care of come back, I need to pick up items for a 4H yard sale, the garden needs tended...on and on it goes. The boys are at their grandparents. Yesterday they baled hay and picked rocks out of the garden. Those are the same things I did as a child. Life always seems to get back to the work, and it feels good to be back. "Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days God has given him- for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work- this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart." Proverbs 5:18-20

Back home once again. I seem to be disappearing and reappearing a lot of late. This last trip was home to throw a surprise 40th wedding anniversary party for my parents. They had an inkling that something would happen but had no idea what. So the surprise element was still there. We met at a picnic site at the local state park and friends and family came to wish them well and congratulate them. The weather was agreeable and my father came out of the hayfield to participate. That had been the most stressful part- how to keep it a surprise and yet get him out of the hay. In their memory I thought I would tell their engagement story. My father is 5 1/2 years older than my mother. He was just finishing up his stint in the army and she was in high school. They met through mutual friends who were dating. Their first date was to go driving to look at Christmas lights and decorations; I believe it was on Christmas Eve. It was love at first site, evidently, since they were married 5 months later. I don't know when they became engaged. My Dad is not a romantic guy, or else not creative, because when he proposed he placed the ring in the glove box of the car. While they were on a date, he said, "Open the glove box." And there she found the ring. That was it. They have 2 children, me and an older brother, and my 2 boys for grandchildren. Their marriage has had a lot of rough spots, but shines all the more for the polishing. They look forward to another 40 years, according to my Dad.

These are the prayers I have been praying in my morning devotions lately. O God, fountain of love, pour your love into our souls, that we may love those whom you love with the love you give us, and think and speak of them tenderly, meekly, lovingly; and so loving our brothers and sisters for your sake, may grow in your love, and dwelling in your love may dwell in you, for Jesus Christ's sake. Canon E.B. Pusey Father, thank you for making me your child and bringing me into a family of brothers and sisters the whole world over. As I affirm my love for you, help me to show that love in genuine affection for those who call you Father too. May my prayers, words and actions for all God's people reflect my love for you. Through Jesus my Lord, Amen. Anonymous I am also reading James in the morning and chapter 3 really brought this home to me. How can I praise God and worship him so passionately and then think bad things about my brothers and sisters? I can say that I love everyone in the sense that I would help anyone who needed help, but to use the term "genuine affection" and to have to think of them tenderly, meekly, and lovingly...that is asking a lot. I have a lot of work to do.

OK, if girls are unreasonable human beings, boys are just stupid. Thinking about the flaws of the females made me turn to the flaws of the males. They are so competitive and all about power that they just do stupid things. Who can jump off the roof into the pool? Who can make a parachute and jump out of a tree? Who tries to wrestle people three times their size and expects to win? Who absolutely has to climb the hitching post and won't relax until a method to do it is discovered? The answer: All of these were done by males that I personally know. I got the results back yesterday from the boys' standardized tests. They are required to take it here in NC. I was very pleased with their progress from last year. I had reason to be concerned. It seems the third grade boys during testing had a race against the girls to see who could finish first. At break time another mom and I were told about it and were proudly informed that the boys were winning! We quickly put a stop to that, but I was unsure what damage was already done. It seems we are safe. Thankfully they aren't too stupid.

I had the church college group over last night for pizza. Afterward the group of guys stayed a while to shoot some hoops. I watched for quite a while, probably making them nervous. I was thinking about the future and how this will be a common sight in my driveway in a few more years. I can well imagine my sons and their buddies playing ball in the driveway. It is going so quickly, this walk of motherhood. I had a discussion yesterday with a friend who has 3 grown sons. We were discussing the joy of having sons vs. daughters. I liked her words, "Boys are reasonable human beings; girls are not reasonable." I know that sounds horrible, especially coming from a woman, but it does ring with some truth. Having spent time in the schools and in youth ministry, I have to say, girls are often unreasonable. That being said, I still pray for the women my boys will marry some day. I pray that they are being raised to know and love the Lord, that they are seeing a godly example of a wife and mother, and that they will fully commit to marriage when the time comes. I suppose I ought to also pray that they will be reasonable human beings too.

Got back yesterday from Gatlinburg, Tennessee in the Smoky Mountains. It was a great trip, though a bit cold at the first of the week. This year we chose to go to Dollywood and the Dixie Stampede. I am not positive, but I think the kids liked the Dixie Stampede best. Dollywood offers attractions for the whole family- which means the kids had to do some things they didn't care to do, but the adults liked it. We also ventured out to Cade's Cove for a day. The weather was perfect and we all had a great time. The kids played in the stream and on the rocks while the adults watched and played Sudoku. We had a picnic and took lots of pictures. I managed not to step on the snake that was right at my feet so my brother-in-law found another, just in case I wanted to step on it I suppose. #2 fell in the stream about 3 times and then we quit counting. He had a fabulous time jumping from rock to rock and crossing the stream on logs. Later he said he wished I would have brought 3 pair of pants for him to change into (I only had 1 extra pair!) and I told him I wished he wouldn't have fallen so much. His response, "I choose to ignore balance, Mom." I don't know if this is the highlight of the week, but it is a memory I will always treasure. Son #1 wanted to prepare a church service for the family and so he worked on it the week before. His dad helped type it up, and I think made a few suggestions, but mostly my boy did it on his own. He made an order of worship and then presented a lesson on the gift of salvation. Certainly he messed up a few points and he could have ordered his thoughts better, but it was an eye-opening experience of how this little boy is growing up. At 9 years old he has a strong faith.

The boys and I walked through the field yesterday evening to meet the neighbors in the new subdivision. Two families have moved in so far and they seem nice. One family has a couple of older kids and one has a toddler. Hopefully soon the other houses will fill with lots of children to play with. I am trying to look at it that way so I don't just despise their presence in my quiet space in the world. We took eggs to the neighbors, fresh ones from our chickens. Lee said he likes hearing our rooster in the mornings. I am pretty sure he would change his mind about that if he lived a little closer! Anyway, they seem very nice and genuine and my boys are glad they are here. On the walk back home through the field lightning bugs lit the way for us. They were out for the first time this summer. The moon was full and bright. Summer is starting off so well.

Today was the used curriculum sale for our home school support group. Last year didn't go so well for me; I didn't sell much and I didn't find a thing to buy. This year I thought the sale was better and I found several things for my children. As I was talking to another friend about the sale I discovered that she thought it was the other way around- last year was better than this year. That was because she was looking for curriculum- which was sold last year- and not "extras"- which seemed to be for sale this year. I, however, like the "extras" and not necessarily the curriculum packs/sets. It has taken several years to figure all of that out, which may seem odd given that I was a school teacher before the children were born. I really enjoy the freedom of reading lots of books about a subject and not just what the text says. We go to the library weekly and we read a lot. I use the Core Knowledge Series for each grade and see what I am supposed to cover for the year and then check it out at the library. 4th grade looks like it will be a lot of fun, Medieval History and King Arthur, Knights, and Magic. We will repeat 2nd grade with Ancient Greece, mythology and gods. Great stuff for boys!

I had a great compliment this evening. Today was our last day of school for the year. Next week the kids have spring break and the week after that starts their summer vacation. I know that means that really they are starting summer vacation now, but they really want that spring break in there. Anyway, when my husband came home about 8:30 this evening, we were lighting sparklers to celebrate the last day of school. He said, "You are the neatest mom." It evidently didn't occur to him to celebrate. I guess that is because he isn't the teacher! The kids are thrilled that summer is here and "no more lessons, no more books". I am excited because the fun part of school happens this summer. We are going to travel a good bit and see a lot of the history that we have studied the last couple of years. Hands-on learning, up close and personal; the best school days are yet to come- just don't tell the kids!

The boys and I picked strawberries at a local farm yesterday. There are several places nearby to do that here. Today we had strawberry shortcake for lunch. I know, my mother's best judgment wasn't kicking in there, but I had my reasons. About a year ago my grandmother died. She was the grandma that braided my hair before school, always had time to listen, never condemned me, made buckwheat pancakes in the fall, laughed until she cried, loved her husband and children ferociously...She was wonderful. Grandma was a flower lover much more than she was a good housekeeper. She never dusted or swept if it could be helped, but she always had flowers growing, inside and out. For her 50th wedding annivesary her children gave her a rose bush for each child- 13! Papaw planted them out front of the house and each was a different color. She tended them and he dusted them. Roses remind me of Grandma. When she died we planted a rosebush in her honor in the front of our house. So what does that have to do with strawberry shortcake? One of Grandma's favorite stories was about the time they loaded the kids in the back of the truck and drove from WV to Michigan to visit relatives. When they got to an older aunt's house the aunt was concerned about what to feed all of them. Grandma had noticed the large strawberry patch and said if it was alright with her, she would make a shortcake and they could just have strawberry shortcake for dinner. She said the kids were never allowed such a luxury at home and it would certainly be a treat to them. So that is what they did, strawberry shortcake for dinner. So today, knowing it was not the best nutritional lunch we could have, my children and I enjoyed a special treat; they strawberry shortcake and me, a good story with my grandmother. I miss you.

Keeping up with the Joneses is not normally a problem for me. I don't much covet what others have, I'm not jealous of other's wealth and possessions. I have a fabulous life and I know it. I really am grateful for all that God has blessed me with financially, but my thoughts are more often turned toward what God has given me that has no monetary value...my husband and children, the opportunity to be a home schooling family, great extended family, a happy childhood, land and space to enjoy the beauty around me, a church family that loves the Lord. But sometimes the Jones family creeps into my thoughts. We went to a music recital of a friend from church on Sunday. He did a great job and has accomplished much by his study of music. Afterward, his parents had a reception at their house to celebrate his success. I was asking the father about how they got into doing all of this musical activity and he told me the kids never really loved it. Their mom made them do it. So I went on to ask why would you force them to do it if they really don't enjoy it- it is a very expensive activity. He thinks it is good for them to have something that disciplines their lives and this is a good intellectual way to do that. Enter the Joneses. I started to wonder am I wrong to not push my children more when they hate an activity? Should I force them to continue, even though it means arguing and punishing, paying out money? I guess it may not be the "Jones Syndrome", maybe it is insecurity as a parent, but it flustered and frustrated me. I have made the children finish activities they start and don't enjoy. If I have paid for something you WILL finish it, whether you like it or not. They have learned some discipline by that I suppose. Then I started to think about my childhood and to ask my husband about his. We are both very bright people, always at the top of our classes. We are fulfilled adults with a healthy perspective on life. Neither one of us had a "discipline" as a child and we turned out fine. I finally have decided that it is the American Ideal creeping in on me again that has upset me so. Let the children explore what they want to explore at the rate and pace they want to explore it. They will follow the path that leads to happiness just as their parents did.

Dinner conversation the other night: 7 year old says, "I'm not going to go to college." Father says, "That's fine but what are you going to do, because you aren't living with us." Son answers, "I'll live with my grandparents until I'm 35." Father, "Then what?" Son, "Then I'll be the first president who never went to college." Where does he come up with these? I started cleaning out curriculum for a used sale at the end of this week. I thought a couple hours at the most, boy was I wrong! I worked on it about 9 hours Saturday and still need to do a bit more. I am getting more of a taste for what I actually do and teach (we have been at this 3 1/2 years now) and so even though it is hard to part with some things, I know it is for the best. It looks like next year will be a fun one though. We get to go through the Middle Ages and Medieval history. Lots of knights, castles, and magic; should be interesting. Repeating 2 grade next year too and I remember all of the Greek gods and mythology was really interesting as well. Talked to an old friend for half an hour today. We haven't spoken in about 7 years. My boys and I will be visiting her in Philadelphia this summer. It is always such a joy to have a friendship that picks up where it left off. The rest of that trip will be to visit a friend in Canada and it is the same type of friendship. It should be a fabulous summer. Next week starts our summer, though it is officially my children's spring break since they didn't get one this year. We will be meeting up with family in the Smokie Mountains. The kids have talked of nothing else for weeks; they had so much fun there last year. After that they will go home with their grandparents for a stay and summer break will begin. They have been double timing school the last couple weeks so that they will be allowed to go. Great motivator!

Father of Creation, Just like you did for Adam and the Israelites, you have provided what is best for me. You have protected me, fed and clothed me, and you have searched for me in the cool of the day. And just like Adam and the Israelites, I have failed you. I have tortured those around me with fear and humiliation. I have looked down on those around me and held them tight in a yoke you did not fasten. Perhaps the worst thing I have done, though, is to refuse to meet you in the garden of your delight. You have watched for me and I have turned away. Help me to daw close to you now. Plant my feet firmly in your ways and never let me dry up or be overtaken by weeds. Let me produce the fruit of your Holy Spirit. Amen.

Calvin and Hobbes strike again. Sunday at church I heard my youngest say to one of the elders, "I know where babies come from." "Oh you do?" the elder asked and continued to stir his coffee with a look that said 'I hope this conversation isn't going any further.' "Yeah, you get them at Sears. But my brother came from KMart. He was a blue light special, real cheap." We were all relieved. Yesterday I was working in the garden when I heard #2, 4, & 5 talking about a snake. I thought they were pretending and went on with my weeding. Then I heard, "Wow look how long it is! It's really alive too." That's when I took off running for the toy shed yelling, "Get out of there! Is there really a snake?!" Well yes there was really a snake and they were having a great time looking at it and watching it crawl around. I got them out of the shed and onto the porch and yelled for my hero hubby to come take care of that horrible thing. It was a harmless field snake and he took it over to the property beyond ours. I am SO glad I am not a guy! We had lettuce, onions, and radishes from our garden this evening. I love growing a garden!

Today I will write several things that have been on my mind to put down on "paper" but just haven't gotten to it. I guess I am still having trouble with that New Year's Resolution to slow down. Some friends and I were trying to find a time that we could all get together and it was into June before we might possibly be able to. How did this happen? Anyway... The bluebirds didn't hatch. We waited past the due date, not being sure when they had been laid, but they were evidently duds. There had been 5 eggs and one day there were suddenly 2 missing and the parents didn't come back. So maybe the parents took 2 eggs somewhere where they wouldn't be checked so often by humans. My sons enjoyed holding the eggs that were left, but I strongly enforced the rule that they remain outside. I took the old nest out as was suggested and the next day a new bluebird was there building a nest. I haven't seen any eggs yet, but maybe we will get a chance to see babies after all. The garden is growing well now. We finally have been getting some rain. We have been in drought conditions most of the winter. I was thinking this morning that it is amazing that I can try to make the garden grow by watering it myself, but when the real rain falls it takes off as if I had been doing nothing. Sort of like trying to grow as a christian can be done only so long without God and then He has to take over for real growth to happen. A girl that studied the Bible with my husband when we lived in TX called a week or so ago. Her family is Hindi and she had never committed to Christ before we left. She called to say she was baptized last September and she is preparing to go to seminary to become a christian counselor. Her family is not allowed to speak to her, though her mother and brother do on the sly. She has given up much more than I to follow the Savior. The following 2 prayers have been my devotional prayer the last several months.

• Grant us grace, O Father, not to pass by suffering or joy without eyes to see. Give us understanding and sympathy, and guard us from selfishness, that we may enter into the joys and sufferings of others. Use us to gladden and strengthen those who are weak and suffering; that by our lives we may help others to believe and serve thee, and shed forth thy light which is the light of life. -H.R.L. Sheppherd
• O Lord, open my eyes that I may see the needs of others; open my ears that I may hear their cries; open my heart that they need not be without succor; let me not be afraid to defend the weak because of the anger of the strong, nor afraid to defend the poor because of the anger of the rich. Show me where love, and faith, and hope are needed, and use me to bring them to those places. And so open my eyes and my ears that I may this coming day be able to do some work of peace for thee. Amen. -Alan Paton

Another answered prayer: Monday we woke so very tired, my husband and I. It had been a busy week and we weren't looking forward to beginning yet another. So during my morning prayer time, I asked God to somehow give us rest that particular day. 2 of my 3 children that I care for were sick and didn't come. So it was a slower day for me that included a nap when the little one napped. My husband had a meeting cancelled and got to come home for a nap. God is so generous.

I forgot this treasure from my 7 year old. Coming home from Easter lunch he asked, "What is a new gli gee?" A eulogy? I tried to decipher. "New gli gee" Neurology? Use it in a sentence. "You look ravishing in that skimpy negligee." Immediately shock and hilarity ran through my mind. "Where did you hear that?" "It was in Calvin and Hobbes." My husband collects those. I told him this was all his fault, but he reminded me that I bought some of them for him. That was before I was the mother of two sons!! I will have to find a way to hide those books; they're learning too much!

Well, the Easter candy has a big dent in it, but there is still a lot left. I think the Easter Bunny had better not shop at Sam's Club any more! My husband did the shopping this year. I just didn't at all feel like it was Easter and couldn't get in the mood for it. He even gave me some peanutbutter eggs and a new candy by Junior Mints that are caramel, Mmmm. Honestly, baskets and candy had not even entered my mind last week. So we didn't have a home cooked meal with pies for dessert. I have been working so hard on other things, I just couldn't find the energy to do a big meal too. We went to Golden Corral, where we were sure to have limas ( a must for Easter in my husband's mind) and home made rolls. We took a woman from church who would have been alone otherwise. Fairly uneventful, if I say so myself. However, two things made it a memorable Easter. First, I have waited many, many years for my children to wake in the morning and secret themselves out to the baskets (or Christmas tree) and check out the loot. My children have often had to be awakened and reminded of the goodies that await them. I had so looked forward as a mother to the holiday morning excitement and had been so disappointed. THIS year, the younger son rewarded me. He sneaked out to the baskets and then raced back to wake his brother. "Wake up! Wake up! The Easter Bunny came last night! He even brought us a present and yours is too big to fit in your basket and I won't tell you what it is but you are going to love it HURRY UP!" excitedly whispered in one long breath. That was truly a Mom Moment. The second was also provided by the younger son. We were on our way to church and discussing that this was the best day in the history of the world. "Do you know what happened on Easter?" asked Mom. "Yeah, Jesus rose from the dead." said in a monotone voice of a preacher's kid who has heard this once too often. "And what is so wonderful about that? What happens because of it?" Mom continued. Here is where the excitement entered his voice, "No school!" I suppose when you are 7 ressurrection and eternal life just can't compare to a holiday.

Tomorrow is the "official" tax date, although we get a break this year and next since the 15th falls on a weekend. Monday will likely find long lines at the P.O. and this holiday weekend may not be so restful to those procrastinators! I wanted to share another of God's little miracles in my life. Every time we move, the first year is difficult financially because of new surroundings and costs, unexpected happenings, and because we are unsure of local tax policies. This move was no exception. We have paid our quarterly taxes, giving to Caesar what is Caesar's, but it has drained us and we have tightened the belt a few notches at times. The last several months have found me praying, "God, we just need 6 or 7,000 more to make it." I had no idea how to get it. I knew God had always provided every need and many desires so I put my trust in him and went on. Well, guess what! Our refund this year is $7,000! We were drastically overpaying and the money was there all the time, but the fabulous thing is that God provided what I needed before I ever asked or even knew that I needed it. He so very specifically answered my request that it could only be his reassuring voice, "Your Father knows that you need these things. Only seek His Kingdom and all these shall be taken care of." (My interpretation/translation.) Praise to our Generous and Abundant Lord!

My spiritual discipline this week has been to start each day with 10 minutes of good thoughts- taken from Philippians 4:8. It seemed like wasting time at first, but it does put your mind on the right track for the day. Sometimes it starts slowly, how many times can you think the same good thought?, but then I start to think of new things and the wonder and wonderfulness of my Lord make the 10 minutes suddenly fly. The other activity for the week has actually been on my "to do" list for 3 weeks now. If I hadn't done it by tomorrow night's group meeting I think they would have strung me up by my toenails! I was to bless each room in my home. That doesn't sound too hard, walk through your house and pray, but it is hard to find time alone when I am still energetic enough to talk to God about things. So on this, my night off, I had my husband and sons leave so I could have some quiet time alone at home. I did bless the house and all of those who live in it or pass through its doors. What an amazing way to see the Lord's Hand of Blessing in my life. The friends, the memories, the quiet times with my lover, the cozy times with my children, the abundance of food and clothing, the blessing of land and animals...taste and see that the Lord is good. Try it yourself this week and see what a generous Lord we serve. ------------- Also as I walked about asking God to bless everything, I passed the bluebird box. I peeked in to see the same eggs, but also to hear a slight rustling and moving. I imagine they will be hatched tomorrow! May God bless that little family as abundantly as He has mine.

Once last summer I was working on a project at the house and a friend commented that I must work really slowly; it was taking a long time to get done. Yesterday I hired a kid to help me finish preparing the garden and get a fence around it so that I could get some plants and seeds into the ground soon. I felt a little badly hiring help when I am a stay-at-home mom, but as the afternoon went on I felt like it was justified. Child #2 had a stomach virus. Child #5 got a splinter the size of a tree. Child #4 had to tell me several times about #5's splinter. # 4-5 wanted a snack. #3 wanted a snack. #1-2 wanted gum, then #3 wanted candy. #5 needed a diaper change. #4 continued to tell me of the need for a diaper change as well as updates on the splinter. I cleaned up #4-5 since they were "helping" in the garden and got them down for a nap, along with a clean diaper and band-aid on the splintered finger. #1 had finished mowing the yard and was about to start helping to hoe when #2 came out to find me and threw up all over the yard. The rooster charged #3 and sent him into tears. If I hadn't had a helper for the afternoon I would still be out there clearing the weeds. As it is, the garden was cleared and nearly fenced by the time my helper left. I was able to finish the fencing and today got in strawberries, onions, peas, beans, spinach, lettuce, and tomatoes. Next time someone says I work slowly I will send them to this post!!